I was wrong and here's some wisdom from @rickwarren & @actorinspirit #actorinspiration #racialhealing #faith #peace
June 08, 2020
"This past week has brought me to my knees so many times.
In light of the current events around racism and social injustice, I want to lovingly remind you that everything I create (whether it’s a program or a post) will always come from a space that stands for love, inclusion, diversity, unity, peace, compassion and acceptance.
And yet, I too, have so much more to learn on the topic of racism."
I wish I had written that, but I didn't. It's from an actress/acting coach, Wendy Braun, who sent me this via her Actor Inspiration newsletter today and it just spoke to me.
The first week everything happened with George Floyd and I heard the young man sing his heart, I just wanna live, I too was on my knees, heartbroken.
However, as time went on, I became angry and defensive because I was scared and wondering how much more mayhem and madness would take place before people were killed.
My anger and fear Pastor Rick Warren addresses in his message entitled, A Faith That Plants Seeds of Peace, which you can watch here. I admit, I've not been sowing seeds of peace with my last blog and it was wrong.
I was wrong.
Listen and see if you might feel a little remorse yourself.
This is why I listen. I am convicted every time I hear his words of wisdom taken from the Bible. I confess hearing African American's pain was so uncomfortable, so overwhelming, so gut-wrenching, I had a rebuttal of facts, logic, and reasons why we shouldn't feel it as a society and I didn't have love.
And that is where I need to grow and change. And I am deeply sorry to those who read my words and were hurt.
It wasn't kind. It wasn't loving. It wasn't wise.
And I sincerely apologize.
I think that's why Rick Warren's message was one I ran from yesterday. I wasn't ready to have my heart affected, or my opinions reconsidered, or to have my motives and heart be seen through the eyes of Jesus and His word.
I wanted to pretend my self-righteous anger against the looters was just that, righteous. It still makes me mad, but I also want to be someone who hears the pain and understands rather than someone who lectures and "Karen's" a group of people who are hurting and acting out.
Doesn't make looting right. Doesn't make the multiple murders of innocent people right. Doesn't make the loss of police through the senseless violence of the mobs right. It doesn't ease the pain of business owners who may have lost everything.
But maybe, just maybe, listening creates a bridge, where once there was a valley of misunderstanding, racism, and more healing down the road which leads to reconciliation, forgiveness and peace. I hope you take the time to listen to Pastor Rick too and thank you for reading what I'm sharing.
Maybe, those who are in the wrong, will come to know the God of forgiveness, of love, of peace and of justice because one person's loving actions made a difference and show a different way of living.
I want to continue sharing how Wendy is listening and sharing from her heart as an excerpt that especially spoke to me because I felt heard and understood.
I hope you do too.
"Change is upon us, and we are all feeling it.
Change is also messy, emotional, uncertain, painful + requires deep discomfort to really grow, learn and evolve.
So many feelings are coming up. We are seeing this on a global level and we are feeling it on an individual level.
As artists, I know we are feeling it, because that’s what we do. We feel. We empathize. We emote. We seek to understand the human condition.
But I also want to also remind you, that although we live in the digital age, you are not required to process your emotions in public.
Of course, I do hope you are taking time to process your emotions, release them in a way that is healthy and then do what feels best for you.
We all process things differently and we are all called to different actions that will drive us to different lanes.
Your lane might be writing.
Your lane might be donating.
Your lane might be protesting.
Your lane might be organizing.
Your lane might be volunteering.
Your lane might be painting a mural.
Your lane might be a dance or a song.
Your lane might be forwarding petitions.
Your lane might be talking to your children.
Your lane might be making a compelling video.
Your lane might be educating yourself in a new way.
Your lane might be tending to your own mental health.
Your lane might be doing what you can to stay sober today.
Some things to keep in mind:
1) Everyone’s lane is different.
2) Your lane might change from day to day.
3) Don’t feel guilty that you "should be" in all of the other lanes. It’s impossible.
4) Don’t worry about directing the traffic in the other lanes.
If we want to bring compassion, acceptance + love into the world, we must begin with ourselves.
So don’t judge yourself for whatever lane you are riding in on any given day.
As you soften your own self-judgment, and then let go of judging others for what they are doing or not doing, you are actually helping create the change that we are all seeking.
Be a beacon of love + light in whatever lane is calling you right now, and know that it does have a ripple effect."
You can read her entire blog here which is entitled Being A Beacon Of Light + Love ❤️ I hope you do take the time to read her entire blog because it's really beautiful and expresses how she reflects love in the world. I think it will bless you too.
You never know who will be your teacher or lead you on a different path. I'm glad I have Christian Pastors like Rick Warren at Saddleback Church, Pastor Miles McPherson at The Rock in San Deigo, Pastor Andy Stanley at Northpoint in Atlanta, and so many others I learn from when I take the time to listen.
The funny thing is I looked up her credits after taking her workshop and she had been in a short film by Director Jason Reitman called In God We Trust which I screened at my film festival in the 90's.
Funny how you run across people in Hollywood years later and realize you had a connection from years ago. Kudos to her.
I've run across a lot of filmmakers, actors, directors and others who were part of my Short Pictures International Film Festival (SPIFF) from that time and they've gone on to do big things, like feature films you'd recognize. Maybe one day I'll do a Where Are They Now blog, but for now, want to close by saying, this isn't an easy time in America right now.
We're all going to experience different emotions, different reactions and "different lanes." I think it's how we drive forward that will determine whether our world remains a train wreck mired in racism, hurt and pain, or will we choose to make conscious decisions to change the direction of our metaphorical car, turn around and drive towards goodness, hope, love and peace with God guiding our way?
The choice is up to you. Jesus take the wheel is all I gotta say...
I'm letting go, give me one more chance, save me from this road I'm on....
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