@Sears @ENews @Ryan Seacrest Is @KimKardashian really the best brand image? #Divorce's impact on society from an economic, sociological, and emotional perspective
By Joy A. Kennelly
Since I know I'm too "Christian" for some, and perhaps not Christian enough for others, I thought I'd post some factual data on the sociological, economic and emotional impact of divorce on society just because it's not discussed much publicly and needs to become more a part of public discourse.
Especially in light of the Kardashian debacle.
As someone who has grown up with parents who have stayed married for over 40 years I never realized how much divorce impacts people until recently. I had no idea how to answer my friend when she asked me why she was always struggling, always wondering why God hadn't stepped in to help her, and why she felt so alone until I began researching divorce recently. All the pieces fell into place on why she has this victim mentality when I realized she grew up in a divorced household with an absentee father whereas I did not.
What I found fascinating though, in reading Long-Term Influence of Divorce and Single Parenting on Adolescent, Family- and work-related values, behaviors, and aspirations, is that it really comes down to the individual and how they respond to these situations. That gives me hope and encouragement because I know my childhood wasn't perfect, yet I continually strive to grow and change through reading, speaking to people, taking constructive criticism when needed, seeking counseling, attending seminars and conferences to aid in my learning about how to be a better person which I believe has lead to a more centered, forward-thinking, positive viewpoint on life overall.
I believe your past doesn't have to own you, although it will shape you. It's up to you on how you choose to live your life and deal with life's issues. However, I don't agree with throwing away a marriage after 72 days.
Britney Spears throwing hers away after 55 hours was a little much, but at least we didn't get bombarded with billboards, advertisements, magazine covers etc touting that Las Vegas wedding. Look at how it affected her for awhile after too.
Not to say there aren't certain circumstances when divorce does seem to be the only option, but I really doubt it in Kim's case. However, I do want to say I admire single parents immensely because according to this research, "Single parent women experience the highest rate of unemployment, and receive the lowest rate of pay regardless of their education." (Economic Roundtable, 2004)
On the flip side, "Fewer than 17% of all single moms receive government assistance even in the minor form of food stamps." (Economic Roundtable, 2002) Women are doing an amazing job of raising children by themselves, often without ex-spousal support: "$39 billion dollars is owed in back child support to 29 million children of single parent women." (2000 National Child Support Report)
You can read more on this at the website, CoAbode, a resource for single parents' here: http://www.coabode.org/aboutus.php or here at Single Parent Magazine: http://www.singleparentmagazine.net/single-parent-statistics/ which lists more current statistics too.
I guess what's shocking and sad to me is this statistic: "Of the 27 industrialized countries studied by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development, the U.S. had 25.8 percent of children being raised by a single parent, compared with an average of 14.9 percent across the other countries."
What does this say about America? I believe Kim Kardashian's flippant attitude towards marriage on such a vast platform as E! Entertainment Television plays a part when she is supposedly a role-model for young, impressionable girls. Is this really who we want influencing society today?
I found this statistic to be shocking too, even though it doesn't relate to the Kardashians. "72% of all African American children will be raised by a single parent." I don't understand this cultural phenomenen. Don't believe me? Read it all here: 72 Percent Of Black Kids Raised By Single Parent, 25% Overall In U.S. That's a huge statistic!
"Dr. Natalie Carroll, an obstetrician who has dedicated her 40-year career to helping black women, feels (this) is unfortunate.
'"The girls don't think they have to get married. I tell them children deserve a mama and a daddy. They really do. A Mama can't give it all. And neither can a Daddy, not by themselves,"' Dr. Carroll says. '"Part of the reason is because you can only give that which you have. A Mother cannot give all that a man can give. A truly involved father figure offers more fullness to a child's life."'
This is not just an opinion. According to Children-our investment.org, homes without fathers ultimately affect children in numerous tragic ways:
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
- 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
- 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes
- 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes
- 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
- 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
- 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes.
Not only are these statistics heartbreaking, it applies to African-American homes in disproportionate numbers. Compared to the 72 percent in our communities, 17 percent of Asians, 29 percent of whites, 53 percent of Hispanics and 66 percent of Native Americans were born to unwed mothers in 2008, the most recent year for which government figures are available. The rate for the overall U.S. population was 41 percent."
Read more here: 72 Percent of African-American Children Born to Unwed Mothers
But it's not all racial. Greed and the booming divorce industry play a big part in the destruction of our society: DIVORCE AND DEATH:THEIR SOCIAL & SOCIAL- PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACTS
If you're a regular Kardashian watcher like I have been, again, "have been" being the operative word, do you remember when Khloe came to Kris K. to make sure a pre-nup was in place to protect their empire just before the Kardashian million dollar wedding?
I do and it bothered me then to see this marriage considered a business transaction, as it does to me even more so now. Or, do you remember when Kim chose not to change her last name on the wedding license for fear of damaging her brand? C'mon! This isn't normal "in love" behavior - it's a calculated business decision, more concerned with brand and money than love.
Yes, protect your assets, but if getting a pre-nup and no-fault divorce wasn't so easy, perhaps people would really think hard about getting into a marriage in the first place rather than thinking, let's make sure our exit strategy is in place first like Kris Jenner did for Kim.
I like this mediator's perspective on the Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce. What's interesting to note here is that none of the typical "emotional stages of divorce" have manifested in the Kardashian union. Read this and see why so many are calling this merely a publicity stunt because wouldn't it make sense that maybe ONE of these might have been observed?
I. DISILLUSIONMENT OF ONE PARTY (sometimes 1-2 years before verbalized) A. Vague feelings of discontentment, arguments, stored resentments, breaches of trust A. Expressing discontent or ambivalence to other party III. DECIDING TO DIVORCE (6-12 months before invoking legal process) A. Creating emotional distance (i.e., disparaging the other person/situation in order to leave it) IV. ACTING ON DECISION (beginning the legal process) A. Physical separation
B. Problems are real but unacknowledged
C. Greater distance; lack of mutuality
D. Confidential, fantasy, consideration of pros and cons of divorce
E. Development of strategy for separation
F. Feelings: fear, denial, anxiety, guilt, love, anger, depression, grief
II. EXPRESSING DISSATISFACTION (8-12 months before invoking legal process)
B. Marital counseling, or
C. Possible honeymoon phase (one last try)
D. Feelings: relief (that it's out in the open), tension, emotional roller coaster, guilt, anguish, doubt, grief
B. Seldom reversible (because it's been considered for awhile)
C. Likely for an affair to occur
D. Other person just begins Stage I (considering divorce) and feels denial, depressed, rejected, low self-esteem, anger
E. Both parties feel victimized by the other
F. Feelings: anger, resentment, sadness, guilt, anxiety for the family, the future, impatience with other, needy
B. Emotional separation (complicated by emotional flareups)
C. Creating redefinition (self orientation)
D. Going public with the decision
E. Setting the tone for the divorce process (getting legal advice and setting legal precedent: children, support, home)
F. Choosing sides and divided loyalties of friends and families
G. Usually when the children find out (they may feel responsible, behave in ways to make parents interact)
H. Feelings: traumatized, panic, fear, shame, guilt, blame, histrionics
I. DISILLUSIONMENT OF ONE PARTY (sometimes 1-2 years before verbalized)
A. Vague feelings of discontentment, arguments, stored resentments, breaches of trust
A. Expressing discontent or ambivalence to other party
III. DECIDING TO DIVORCE (6-12 months before invoking legal process)
A. Creating emotional distance (i.e., disparaging the other person/situation in order to leave it)
IV. ACTING ON DECISION (beginning the legal process)
A. Physical separation
And you can read the rest here: Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce
So, for all intensive purposes, the Kardashian wedding appears to be nothing more than a business transaction if all indicators continue to play out on what a real marriage entails. Is this really who we want influencing youth? I don't think so which is why I'm asking E! Entertainment to take Kim Kardashian off the air for awhile.
Let her be human, deal with her mess, and live a real life for once away from the incessant cameras and publicity machine E! and her mother and agents perpetrate with no thought of her as a human being. Take money out of the picture and put humanity back in.
Society deserves better. Kim deserves better. TV viewers deserve better.
Stop the madness.