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Ode to the Adoptive Parents of my son, Eli

By Joy A. Kennelly

Earlier tonight I called the adoptive couple to speak to my son, Eli, who just turned 10 yesterday. Some of you know I have a son, some of you don't because I don't talk about him all the time and he lives with his adoptive parents out-of-state.

However, since Cinco de Mayo was his birthday I feel compelled to give an update because I'm so proud of him and so proud to know the adoptive parents. When I was struggling with my pregnancy, not knowing which way to turn, I made the difficult decision to choose an open adoption for me and my son.

This has affected my life and probably will until I die. However, I'm happy to report that I'm content with my decision because in spite of everything I know my son is well loved, well adjusted and one helluva kid.

He's on the honor roll (again!), over 5 ft tall at age ten (like me at that age!), is a voracious reader with an imense vocabulary for a child his age (just like me!), loves music (like all of us), and loves computers (like all of us!). It's been very wonderful to hear how he's doing from his godmother, Elaine.

She broke down in tears when we were talking and thanked me for making the sacrifice to place him with them. That touched my heart so deeply since it isn't something any of us talk about very often. Then tonight, when I was talking to the adoptive mother, my heart just swelled with love and pride for choosing such wonderful people to raise my son.

Not only have they raised my son to be all that he can be, but since the husband has retired from the military and now has more time with his new job, they have been studying to be foster parents. It was a little over a week ago that they just took in three brothers to love and provide a stable home life for with Eli's blessing and his urging.

They've been discussing foster care for many years and Eli has ALWAYS wanted siblings. Now that he has 'em, I'm not so sure he realized he'd be sharing a bedroom. It was so cute after we had talked about his new computer game (which he advised me to check out on the Nintendo site - he spelled Nintendo to make sure I knew where to look which made me smile), and about everything else, I asked him how he liked having all his new brothers. That part he loved.

Then I asked how he liked sharing his room to which he soto whispered to me (since they might have been around), "I don't like it very much." which makes me giggle even as I'm writing this. I never liked sharing a room with my sister's growing up either (even though now that I think back I don't think I did that often since I was the oldest come to think about it.)

My heart swelled with love and apprectiation for the adoptive couple for graciously opening their home and their hearts to three little boys who really needed love and stability for reasons I don't know, nor need to know.

All I do know is that God is alive and well in this family. I'm so proud to be a part of their family by default. I can sleep easy tonight knowing my little guy is thriving and he is so loved. I'm proud of him too for wanting to open his heart and home to other children at such a young age too because it's a huge adjustment for everyone.

Can you imagine? Now they have four little boys - two 10 year olds, and a 6 and a 7 year old I believe. As we were talking, Amy was doing laundry and I bet that is an even more regular occurence now. I'm just so happy for all of them. I know they have lots of love to give and will provide what these little boys need in all ways.

Just felt like sharing because it touched my heart so much and hope it touches yours too.

That's all for now.

God bless!



Joy, thanks for your thoughts from your side of the adoption world.

As you know, I grew up with three adopted sibs, and adoption was always "normal." Now that I'm an adoptive mom (of an older child), I see things from a totally new side.

I have a hint of what Eli's parents are going to be going through with the foster kids, as Jo came out of some of the chaos that brings kids into state care. Suggest they read Parenting the Hurt Child if they haven't already. They are in for one heck of a ride -- but they will see such a change in the boys.

Joy Kennelly

Thanks Hope! I will. I'm sure they have because Amy is really on these types of things, but it's always nice to have referrals regardless.

I think you're doing such a great job with your little girl and I'm proud to know you too!

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