It's not easy being me - LOL

By Joy A. Kennelly

It's always fun to see who finds and reads this blog. Just last night someone popped by and told me they lived in Sri Lanka and had found me. Welcome! They found me searching for Sri Lanka Cougars - I guess it's everywhere,eh? LOL

This morning I had searches from Japan, Singapore and somewhere else that I forget now. I've seen people from Iran, England, Australia, Philippines, and all over the world come through here. I like to think that maybe my humble opinion on what's going on in America is heard and helps foreigners see us in a different light than they might just watching our mainstream media.

Last night was really fun, but a little crazy.

I'm not going to write about it just yet because after waking up at 5:30am this morning, I've had this epiphany which I want to share right now seeing as I haven't read it anywhere else recently. Not to say it hasn't been said already, but this is my personal opinion and my blog...bear with me. Or stop reading now. Your choice. This is America. I love saying that! :)

A liberal friend, who I didn't realize was still reading my blog, contacted me last night and said I'd inspired her. She then shared numerous political websites she had created about her favorite candidate and my favorite too (although in my candidate's case, the site isn't designed to be supportive, but derisive which is fine. I will defend her right to her opinion to the day I die. This is AMERICA! God bless it!)

However that said, let me share with you why I don't think Obama has a shot in hell right now of winning and it has nothing to do with his experience, his qualifications, the fact that he's Democrat, or anything else.

It's just the fact he's black.

And I'm not saying that in a racist way, just stating another fact about America unfortunately.

I know, big shock. What does the color of his skin have to do with anything? It has EVERYTHING to do with it. How many black newscasters, anchors, heads of media, mainstream magazines, members of congress, any politicians for that matter, CEO's, or other powerful people do you see on a consistent basis who are black?

Yes, there's our very own local handsome black Channel 5 newscaster, Emmet Watson. But why do you think he got choked up announcing Obama's nomination? Because it was/is huge news.

Why do you think Halle Berry's win was such big news? You can count on one hand how many African-American actors have won Academy Awards over the years I bet. Not sure that's true, but bet it is.

When I see Girlfriends get nominated for an Emmy, then maybe I'll believe racism isn't an issue, but right now? It is. Think about it. You know I'm right. I'm just one of the few willing to put it in writing.

I've dated a lot of black men over the years (I love the color of their skin against mine - I'm so white and the contrast is striking. One man said it's erotic - I'll give him that. I love it too. Sexy as anything.) As a result, I understand their world a little better than other white people who haven't.

My son who I placed in an open adoption is half Nigerian and half me making him look like Obama. I need to state here that I'm very proud and happy that Obama was nominated regardless of whether I'll vote for him or not. I've said it before, I'll say it again.

What a wonderful thing for my son to see someone who looks like him on TV running for such a high office even if he doesn't understand the historic ramifications at such an early age. I believe in race equality and will defend the rights of all races till the day I die too.

Just because I believe that though doesn't mean the rest of America agrees with me. The thing that brought it home real clearly last night was watching the news accounts of the bail-out talks where you saw McCain very visibly sitting in the far right corner of the screen.

I had no idea where Obama was sitting until one news station finally showed a shot of him sitting on the left of the table actually closer to the President. All the previous cameramen had cut him out even though if they panned back they could have very easily included him if they'd wanted to.

When I saw that and heard Obama discuss what went on behind the closed doors, heard that Obama's staff had never been to the White House and were excited to be there, it only confirmed to me that despite Obama's best efforts, this presidency won't be judged on merit, but on political connections and the old (white) boy's club's terms.

America, or should I say Washington D.C., just isn't ready for a black man to be telling them what to do. They're just not. No matter how much I wish racism didn't exist, it's a fact of life that will bear heavily on this campaign no matter what side of the political fence you sit on.

What I also think people don't realize is that even though they think Palin is outspoken with her Christian beliefs, there are actually a lot of people who hold similar ones. I almost feel like when my friends mock Palin and her faith, they're mocking me too.

I happen to believe in casting out demons. I believe witchcraft is alive and well. I believe there is evil in the world. I believe there is good and that God will protect His followers too. I don't believe in speaking in tongues, but there are many Christians who do.

I believe life begins at conception. I believe adoption is the third unspoken choice of the pro-choice crowd where only abortion and single parenting is touted.

Speaking of abortion, did you know that the woman who is at the basis of the Roe V. Wade choice denounced this law years later? She has an autobiography I read which was just fascinating. I really do need to find it again because you NEVER hear that do you?

Only that abortion is what every woman wants. That's BS.

Maybe the media should interview that woman. Maybe the other side of abortion should be heard for once publicly- it's devastating to so many women. That's a fact you can't deny no matter where you stand on this issue. But you never hear of that. Only it's a woman's right to kill your unborn baby.

I'm sorry ladies who've had abortions. Get used to the word. It's killing. I feel very strongly about that. Especially third term and especially when the baby is partial birth. So sickening. Really hits me in the gut when I even think about it. I bet it hits those who have had abortions so hard emotionally and angrily because deep in their souls they know I'm right.

Right? Right.

Oh dear, I'm not being very politically correct now am I? Oh well. Never said I was.

Oh dear, where is my Christian compassion? I am sorry too. I'm so sorry you've been lead to believe that abortion is the only way to "fix" your unwanted pregnancy. I'm sorry that you ARE dealing with the pain and remorse of your decision. I'm deeply, deeply sorry about this. That's why I get so angry when it's made to seem like EVERYONE believes that it's the only choice out there. It's not.

That's why I chose adoption even though living through nine months of a pregnancy I didn't want or expect was my "choice". I can't begin to tell you the days and nights I wondered why I was doing what I was doing. How much I craved my non-pregnant life. How much I resented the birthfather and the situation I was in. How embarrassed and ashamed I was to be living in a shelter and on welfare.

However, I'm glad I did it. I have my little boy who will hopefully grow up to be a good man to show for it. I held to my convictions and despite the personal, emotional, financial cost I would do it all again if I had to. Only this time I would probably single parent. Although that's not an easy choice either.

I just would never, ever, ever, ever choose abortion. I just wouldn't. I believe in taking responsiblity for my actions even when it's tough and difficult and not what I want to do. That's just who I am. That's where my faith in God makes me different too. There is a right and wrong in my world. What about you?

Like a large percentage of Christian Americans, I also believe God is in control and will ultimately decide what is right in this election and in all life. I believe that when someone admits and repents of their sin and accepts the Lord into their life they are a new person and are "born-again." I believe that we are a forgiven people and God is love.

Now what do you think of me? LOL To be honest, I really don't care what you think because I've lived with your perceptions in the media and the rest of my life for so long I'm used to it.

I think that's part of the reason I like black men so much too. They know what it's like to live on the outside of convention simply by virtue of the color of their skin. My difference is on the inside, but it still affects my life on a daily basis.

That's why I used to love seeing the Hasadic Jews in my old neighborhood. It was really inspiring to see a people living out their personal convictions so publicly. Really cool actually. I guess that's why I write.

To publicly live out my personal convictions too.

When my son was only a few months old I flew to New Mexico to participate in his baby dedication. In other circles it could be called a christening. Similar concept, only in Christian circles what you're doing is dedicating your child to God and His service.

Whoa, that's so weird! I know that's what you're thinking. I kind of feel like I'm outing all the darkly held secrets of the Christian subculture, but hey, you've been reading this long you must find it interesting or you would have stopped long ago, right? LOL

We, the adoptive parents and I, all stood on the stage with Eli, my son, as the pastor gave his blessing and prayed over him with us. It was a very moving service and something I was so happy to be included in. That's one of the reasons I chose the couple I did. They were/are staunch born-again Christians and uphold the same beliefs that I have.

I think part of me knew back then that I might not raise my son so strictly in the Christian faith as a single mom and decided to let a married couple be the responsible ones in this situation. Plus, for other personal reasons I won't go into here out of respect for my family's wishes, but if you've been reading for awhile you'll remember, I thought it was better overall.

It also just wasn't the right time for me to parent. Bottom line.

I look at my friends and my sister with all their kids and wonder how they do it. Children are a HUGE responsibility and HUGELY change your life. Now, maybe now, I'd be ready for the life change, but back then, no way. As a result, I'm content with my decision.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, Obama mama.

So, even though I wish America was more progressive in their race relations, we're just not. If grown men can still call people the N word and have others agree with them as if it's ok, Obama isn't winning. And if the news can still only focus on the white guy running for office when there's a black man who's running for president sitting in the same room non-existent, it's just not happening.

What I found interesting in listening to Obama after the bail-out discussion was his observation of the whole process as an outsider, rather than as an insider which is what Washington lives and dies for. If someone pursuing the highest office isn't part of that inner circle and treated as such, I just don't see his winning happening.

I'm looking at this strictly from a marketing perspective because when you're selling something you need to have people who will buy what you're selling. It's obvious to me, with my personal knowledge of racism as it exists today, people in Washington aren't buying it.

As far as Middle America goes, people are buying Palin. Whether you like it or not, there are lots and lots of Christians who hold similar beliefs to hers. We're just never heard in mainstream media because religion isn't of interest or something most media types uphold themselves and as a result, don't understand or report without making it fanatical rather than a part of a normal person's life.

Oh, here's something else to consider. One of my black rapper friends says that Sunday is the most racially segrated day of the week. Think about it. How many multi-cultural churches do you see? Not that many. Mainly they're hugely white, hugely black, hugely Asian, but never the twain shall mix.

Or if they do, there's a sprinkle here and a sprinkle there unless the leadership is multi-cultural and as a result the church is more multi-racial too.

We just aren't a racially integrated society. My personal opinion is that Obama isn't going to be the one to cross that divide right now. And it's not just because of him. It's because America really isn't ready for a black President. No matter who he/she is. Bottom line. Mark my words.

It will be very interesting to see what happens in the years to come as the white population decreases and the minorities continue to increase though. Maybe then.

But now? No.

And now, since my pumpkin ice blended is finished I'll leave you until later when I report on the three fun events I hit last night which left me exhausted and emotionally spent. LOL

Have a good one. Feel free to comment. It makes my day.:)

Comments

[ConcernedMilf]

Did you check out my blog too? BTW, I hadn't ever read your blog before now. You just inspired me by talking about it oh so long ago. But, I've read it now, and I'm all about a bipartisan spirited debate. So, other than not being black, what is it you prefer about the Republican candidates?