Just finished the best book "Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul"

By Joy A. Kennelly

A friend lent me the book entitled Wild At Heart Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul which I just finished today.

Here's Amazon's Editorial Reviews, and I quote:

"Editorial Reviews Amazon.com
If Christian men are going to change from a pitiful, wimpy bunch of "really nice guys" to men who are made in the image of God, they must reexamine their preconceptions about who God is and recover their true "wild" hearts, writes bestselling author John Eldredge in Wild at Heart: Discovering a Life of Passion, Freedom, and Adventure. Eldredge throws down the gauntlet--men are bored; they fear risk, they refuse to pay attention to their deepest desires.

He challenges Christian men to return to authentic masculinity without resorting to a "macho man" mentality. Men often seek validation in venues such as work, or in the conquest of women, Eldredge observes. He urges men to take time out and come to grips with the "secret longings" of their hearts.

Although the book succeeds best in its slant toward a male audience, it also strives to help women understand the implications of authentic masculinity in their relationships with men. Eldredge frames the book around his outdoor experiences and appealing anecdotes about his family, sprinkling the text with touches of humor and overlying everything with heartfelt passion.

Even as he mixes eclectic ideas about masculinity from popular movies such as Braveheart with classic words from Oswald Chambers, and lyrics from the Dixie Chicks with stories from the Bible, he points to only one answer for men searching for their true wildness of heart. Writes Eldredge, "The only way to live in this adventure ... with all its danger and unpredictability and immensely high stakes ... is in an ongoing, intimate relationship with God." --Cindy Crosby    

      

Book Description
God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires--aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy."

It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free."

and here's another blurb:

"Helping men rediscover their masculine heart, this guide to understanding Christian manhood and Christian men offers a refreshing break from the chorus of voices urging men to be more responsible, reliable, dutiful… and dead.

God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, now available in trade paper, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be--dangerous, passionate, alive, and free."

Very interesting insights into what it's like to be a man. It also gave me insights into myself ironically enough. I believe this past year for me has been one of refining, defining, and shaping into someone who is authentic and real, no matter what it costs.

It hasn't been easy, nor do I feel my journey is over, but it was very comforting to realize that I'm not alone in my desire to be my true self. Men face this every day of their lives. What was so interesting to me, and what gave me more compassion for the men in my life, is that so often men feel like failures and like they're not living authentically.

They may hide it by becoming workaholics, sexaholics, and alcoholics, but when all that is stripped away and all they are is who they are, there's this wound that has never been healed. Only God can heal that part of them.

What was also interesting to read is that in other cultures there are set ways men become men - set initiation processes that allow the young boy to realize he is now a man. In our culture we don't have that. What the author, John Eldrege proposes is now their initiation is when God takes men through deep valleys of pain and suffering and they come out the other side stronger and more who they were meant to be.

I'm totally paraphrasing and probably don't have it right at all, but that is my humble interpretation. It also made me wonder if the reason we have such a huge alcoholic issue in our country today is that so many men are trying to hide their pain in something that is socially acceptable, rather than face it, deal with it and move through it? Just a thought.

That's why I always encourage people to visit Alcoholics Anonymous. It provides a loving structure with which to work through your issues one step at a time under the guidance of someone who has been there before you and come out the other side. It often provides the only loving, safe relationship some men ever experience which is healing in and of itself too. (For women too.)

What I kept trying to see in this book is that if the church has given men the idea that they need to be "good boys" where is there the mandate for them to conquer and fight for what is right? What church offers an opportunity for men to show us women what they're made of when all we're offering is Bible Study, singing, and other non-aggressive, non-masculine forms of expression?

That's why I like my church pastor because he is totally into men being men. However, I wonder how many single men's needs aren't being met because they don't have kids and families and don't want to participate in building things for them? Like that sled run.

I wonder if we had more mission trips where we built churches, or built whatever in interesting foreign locations, then we wouldn't be creating an environment where the single men of our community could feel like they were conquering something and wouldn't feel so inclined to just get drunk like so many do today in the South Bay?

What are we offering them as an alternative churches? City Council? Government? Where are the battlefields where men can be men except in the military? Why aren't there more opportunities here in the states? Why must there be killing and distant lands involved? What about something local and pertinent that draws men together to work together as one?

Not on some female-oriented fund-raiser or toy drive, but something that men can do with men and as men without drinking themselves silly? Something that's for the good of the community - not just their own selfish pleasures? Just wondering that's all. I'm not a man and don't know what that could be, but I  hope that by raising the issue, perhaps those wiser and older than me would consider it.

I'm just kind of rambling, but I really hope that there will be some new ways for men to express and exert their masculinity, or we're going to continue to raise up generations of frustrated men who over-drink, over-work, or over-sex just to fulfill their God-given desires to matter in the world.

This is an excellent book that raises very pertinent issues concerning men today. I highly recommend it for men AND women to read. Just click on the link I've provided above for the way to purchase it through Amazon.

Now to get back to living - even though my sinus infection or allergies are wiping me out again. Oy!