An Award-Winning Digital Marketing Strategist and Personal Publicist, Joy Kennelly has covered the worlds of entertainment, red carpet events, celebrities, travel, technology, politics, food and fashion festivals for many years.
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The most budget-friendly shopping destination in the U.S. is Delaware, with one of the lowest total clothing costs and lower-than-average hotel prices for travelers.
Florida has the highest number of outlet malls, creating discount shopping opportunities across its 20.9K stores.
States with diverse and more sustainable retail options consistently rank higher, with Pennsylvania and Texas each hosting over 250 thrift stores.
A recent study by NYC Leather Jackets revealed the top ten U.S. states for budget shopping travel, ranking them based on affordability, access to budget-friendly shopping options, and accommodation costs. The study analyzed key factors such as the total number of stores, clothing prices, clothing sales tax rates, number of hotels, average hotel prices, and average hotel ratings. Final scores were scaled from 0 to 100, with higher scores indicating the best destinations for budget-conscious shoppers seeking cost-effective travel experiences.
Delaware leads the ranking as the most budget-friendly shopping destination with a score of 100. The zero sales tax policy as well as nearly 1000 clothing stores, ensure endless options for every style and budget. Additionally, the state has one of the lowest total clothing costs ($250) among the ranked states - $55 less than Texas and $64 less than Florida.
Pennsylvania claims 2nd place with a score of 98.4, standing out as the best destination for thrift shoppers with 259 locations - the highest number among all ranked states. The total clothing basket costs $305, higher than Delaware but offset by 50 outlet malls - the third-highest concentration in the study.
Coming in 3rd, Vermont scores 96. The state outperforms with $238 total clothing costs - beating even Delaware - while strategic tax exemptions multiply savings. The state has higher hotel rates at $362, but its network of 33 thrift stores and six outlet malls proves small-state planning beats big-state volume.
Montana is 4th with a score of 95.6. Its 50 thrift stores and 777 hotels available for weekend shopping maintain strong coverage across mountain territories. Additionally, the state has the second-lowest hotel prices in the top 10 at $224, along with the highest rating.
Oregon lands in 5th place with a composite score of 94.8. It has a significant retail presence, with nearly 2,900 clothing stores—more than six times the number in Vermont. The state positions 224 thrift stores and 28 outlet malls strategically, while zero sales tax is another major advantage.
Minnesota ranks 6th with a score of 90.6. It has one of the largest retail networks among the top-ranked states, featuring over 3.7K clothing stores—more than Montana and Vermont combined. The state leads with $204 hotel rates - the lowest in the top 10 - while 205 thrift stores and zero sales tax maximize savings.
Florida ranks 7th with a score of 87.5. Its 112 outlet malls triple the combined total of Delaware, Vermont, and Montana. The state has more than 10K hotels and almost 21K clothing stores, creating a massive shopping infrastructure.
Texas follows closely with a composite score of 87. It mirrors Florida in terms of retail strength, with 56 outlet malls and almost 21K clothing stores. Additionally, the state has the highest number of hotels among all ranked states, with over 11K properties available at an average price of $230 per night.
New Hampshire ranks 9th with a score of 84.2, benefiting from a 0% clothing sales tax. The state fits 34 outlet malls within its borders - surpassing Montana, Vermont, and Delaware combined. Hotel stays average $254 per night, keeping the overall cost of a shopping trip reasonable.
Alaska rounds out the top ten with a score of 83.6. The state maintains strong value with 49 thrift stores, zero sales tax, and $289 clothing costs. Its network of 439 hotels, averaging $284 per night, serves key shopping centers across vast distances.
A spokesperson from NYC Leather Jackets commented on the study: "While online shopping continues to grow, physical retail destinations still offer greater savings opportunities. The data shows that combining a shopping trip with smart travel planning - targeting states with zero sales tax and good hotel rates - can lead to significant savings. The key is looking beyond major shopping centers to states that offer outlet malls, thrift stores, and tax benefits. For budget-conscious travelers, planning a weekend getaway around these shopping destinations could actually save more money than year-round online shopping."
There are times in life where, when you stand still, the rest of the world spins around you and you feel like you're in the middle of a hurricane. People talking, cars moving, life is going on at warp speed and you're simply standing in the middle of all this, observing, listening, taking it in, but not feeling anything or responding, just being still.
That's how I feel now that my Dad has died. It's like the world is moving at this warp speed, people are talking to me and I'm numb, listening, but not participating. Just observing their voices, their stories, their lives, but not feeling like I'm really there.
Out of the blue, my middle sister reached out to all my emails (I have 6 for various reasons) and said it's been awhile since you've had an update on Dad so if you're interested, please let me know. I had blocked my entire family on my phone because I didn't want any communication with them so email was her only recourse.
To protect myself, I told her I would like to hear, but only in writing because she is also part of the family I blocked for what happened to me. I recently learned my family had tried to do a restraining order to prevent me from caring and seeing my Dad, but because he didn't want it because he loved me, and I have done nothing wrong, it was dropped. This is what I'm dealing with when I say I don't want anything to do with them any more. I did nothing wrong except attempt to prevent Miranda's negligence from killing my Dad.
But I digress.
Grace revealed that they had decided to put Dad on morphine and oxygen (after I recently re-opened the conservatorship activity coincidentally), and he didn't have long to live. She would "relay any messages to him for me" like I couldn't even speak to my Dad personally. I thought that was bullshit and asked if Miranda had given him the Christmas card I sent where I told him I loved him.
Grace said she read all his cards to him and mine was included in that. So I had peace he still knew I loved him even though we haven't been able to speak due to the Cavins. Then I asked if I could speak to him.
She had returned to TX and was planning to fly back on Monday and agreed. But a call would have been snuck in because the Cavins still didn't want Dad to speak to me. This is the bullshit I've had to deal with and why I want nothing to do with any of them ever again. I wanted to tell him thank you for the life he's given me and being my Dad. But I think he knows that so I have peace in our final interaction.
Miranda is a sick control freak who faked a marriage and held a wedding that never was finalized with a marriage license so after 3 mos of "marriage" decided to call it off with a fake divorce. She's a master manipulator like her mother and only came around to "caring" for my Dad recently because the money my Dad gave her had run it's course and she wanted more (allegedly.:)
I pity the man who decides to have a relationship with her because she's so dishonest you will never have a real relationship. My friends and I pray my family is convicted by God because I didn't deserve what they've done and continue to do to me.
But again, I digress.
Grace was detained in TX due to weather and work so when she emailed me and asked me to call her, I knew it was serious. That's when she told me Dad had died 30 minutes prior and she wanted to tell me personally. I think she was shocked I didn't burst into tears, but I had cried my heart out on Sunday and had actually given him up for dead last November when it was determined by the courts the Cavins would continue to mismanage his health and stay in control until our upcoming hearing.
I did everything in my power to save him for months on end, foregoing my own health, financial well being and life. After that was decided, I had no choice but to let go and let God. I drove up to Ojai that day and just bawled my eyes out knowing I would never see him again. That pain is still with me, but this song reflects the attitude I had to assume to get through that earlier heartbreak, Thy Will be Done by Hillary Scott and The Scott Family.
I've actually enjoyed not being responsible for anyone but me and I've pursued my EMDR therapy with great success. It's amazing to not feel on constant hyper vigilance all the time and feel in my body for the first time in a long time.
I still have more healing to do, but each time my therapist and I have a EMDR session, I feel more and more like the whirling dervish that has lived untamed inside my brain is being calmed into submission. My logical part of my brain is marrying to the part that is run by emotions and I finally feel calmer, more rational and more centered than I have in years.
But this past Sunday when I received the news Dad was probably going to die very soon, I didn't feel like that. I felt discombobulated, outside my body and like time was standing still. I did what I normally do and texted everyone I know to tell them. Many people responded with kind words, but there also those who have never responded. I don't think people know what to say during the loss of a loved one to death unless they've personally experienced it.
I drove around that night crying and thinking and wanted to drive to Malibu where it's always been my escape haven, but in light of everything going on and my lungs still not fully recovered, I decided I needed to choose a different beach escape and drove to Laguna instead.
Driving back along the coast I discovered a familiar Italian restaurant from Manhattan Beach and chose to dine there alone. It was then my one friend who has become closer since I lost her sister to covid during the pandemic, called me. Out of all the friends I spoke to that night, she was the only one who truly listened, truly cared only about me, shared scripture with me and prayed for me. Every other Christian friend just didn't get the depths of my grief and rambled on about their lives too.
I think when you've always been the strong one, the resilient one, people see you as someone without needs, without pain and they assume you can handle anything. But death redefines you in ways you can't explain. This song reflects this to me:
My Dad's death has touched the core of my being. These past few months not hearing his criticism or concern has been healing and allowed me time to remember other good qualities of him. I used to practice not speaking to him while living in TX in preparation for his death, but I always gave in after a few months because I missed him so much. Now I won't have that luxury.
It really hit me when I was speaking to someone about the finality of his death. And how much my Dad loved and cared for me all my life. Sometimes certain behaviors, attitudes and personality traits overshadow love, but when it's stripped away and all you have is the bare bones of a relationship, you really see it for what it truly is.
Some friendships survive the impact of death. Some don't.
I have seen that my 30 year long friendship which hasn't grown and changed with my healing of my family trauma and we've both seem to come to the realization we can't be there for each other in the same way right now. Or ever. Who knows?
When someone who has grown up with trauma continues to hide behind packing their life to the nth degree with busyness and constant stress, it never allows them to have to deal with their core pain. I heard that from a psychologist on Instagram. He said traits that women claim are merely parts of being a woman are really covering trauma.
And once I heard that I couldn't unhear it. I truly believe this friend has convinced herself she is fine by virtue of never having time to think and reflect or have any introspection. As long as those plates keep spinning and her family accommodates her dysfunction and new friends don't try to get to know her on too deep a level, then she will be fine.
And the interesting thing I've become to realize is, our shared family traumatic upbringing has resulted in a shallow relationship that is bound by trauma and the crumbs we could give each other vs. a true authentic relationship. I truly wanted to believe we were family, but Thanksgiving revealed how false that really was.
As a result, now that I want more and to address what happened last Thanksgiving, she can't handle it and is refusing to work through it. And what I have to accept is, that's ok. She doesn't have the emotional capacity for anything deeper or confrontation and never has, or will, because this is how she has chosen to live her life to allow her to function.
How many others use alcohol, drugs, sex, over-eating to numb that part of themselves that is not healthy and don't think anything about it? I think if we are truly being honest, all of us have something we don't want to deal within our psyche. Don't you agree?
But if we keep burying it, not dealing with it, eventually it begins to fester and create deeper issues than if you do. I feel that the death of my father is going to hit my sisters deeper than me because they have buried the grief of losing my mom and now that there's no semblance of normalcy any more now that he has died too, it will finally begin to hit them and they may finally grieve and allow themselves to deal with the emotions they've tried to ignore. I hope they do for their sakes.
I could also be projecting.:) I don't know, and to be honest, don't care. They are them. I am me. I'm the sensitive one who has always been emotional and artistic. But I'm also the one bent on healing my trauma and when you're on a mission to heal, then you do. And if you're determined to bury your emotions and live a shallow life, then you do that too.
I truly feel death defines you in ways you never know it will until it happens. Then you dig deep into your soul and you shed the relationships, the situations, and the areas in your life that you don't want to carry moving forward.
It's like you have new eyes and new discernment that wasn't revealed until the death of a loved one, especially a parent. I remember when my Mom died, I felt like an anchor to my life had been pulled out from under me. I was without a rudder and floating in grief. But I also felt this inner strength flood my soul and it was almost as if her spirit came into my body to give me strength I never had before. I can't explain it.
I've only had this sensation once before while housesitting for a couple who had lost their daughter in a freak accident. They kept her bedroom the same and while they were away in Italy, the rats began invading the room to eat the papers and other belongings. I couldn't stand it and begged them to let me dismantle her bedroom to preserve her memory from being eaten alive.
They agreed and I packed up everything I could and put it in their garage for them. I think being free of that memory was one of the things that helped them get pregnant again when they returned and they allowed true healing to begin. They turned that room into a nursery last I heard.
One night after that room cleansing, I felt my body wrapped in love like I'd never experienced before. It was like a heavenly hug that filled every crook and cranny of my body with a love that made every pain, every aspect of my body feel whole. I know I'm not explaining it properly, but I truly felt loved by God or an angel in the fullest capacity. I've never felt that way ever again, but I believe that is what it's going to be like when we get to heaven.
It's like that verse, Revelations 21:4 says, 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
And that is why I cling to the hope of heaven. I want to believe I will see my mom, my dad and friends I've lost over the years. I believe I will be in the presence of God and life will be perfect. There will be no more sorrow, no more pain, things that bothered me in my life, will no longer matter. There will only be harmony, peace and love forever and ever.
As it says in Revelation 22:3-5
No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. Years ago, when I lost my apartment and was rebuilding my life without my family or local friend's help, I ended up staying at a shelter in Wilmington where we were required to attend chapel nightly in order to stay there. You have not heard a more beautiful choir than one where people without a home are loudly singing, I've got a mansion, just over the hilltop.In case you've heard it, here's a version of Mansion Over the Hilltop by Bill & Gloria Gaither and Jeanne Johnson And if you believe the rumor that Elvis never died and is now a preacher preaching somewhere in the South, you may like the version he sang better:
Because I do have that experience of being homeless right after my Mom died and living with friends from Bible college until I eventually found a place in San Pedro supported by help from the government, I understand a little more what those who have lost everything from our fires. I understand having to start over and wondering if you'll ever have stability again. Will you ever have a place you can call your own where you're not using other people's dishes, living with people, and moving a lot. My heart breaks for my city. I can't talk about it without crying.
My Dad wasn't perfect, but he was who God gave me as a parent. Like I said on Facebook, we had a complicated relationship. I was more the parent in certain respects after my Mom died and took her place mothering him. I made sure he had healthy meals, had the computer help he needed, and helped him put all his bills on auto pay and all his financial transactions on auto pay when I could see him to begin failing.
At that time, my sisters weren't really involved and when I left for GA that last time, I wrote a 5 page detailed description of everything I had done to care for my dad, from changing his sheets, to washing his clothes and everything else in between. I told them I was no longer going to be his caregiver and they would have to begin making his care a priority.
Do I regret turning over that responsibility when I see how it turned out? Yes. But on the other hand, I do feel it was time for my sisters to step up and it would never have happened unless I took that stance. Dad was also responsible for how his life turned out so I don't feel any blame at all.
So that's why I felt having my sisters having to deal with his end of life was their due. I would have still preferred for him to go live at Silverado where he could have lived out his life with a wonderful medical and social community to support him. I think he would have gone there except for my family's pressure to stay home and not spend their upcoming inheritance, but now that's he's passed, that's neither here or there.
If you attend my Dad's funeral, I won't be speaking and won't have anything to do with any of the planning, or sit with my family or be part of anything they do. I've divorced myself from my family and that means letting them have all the responsibility.
I handled the majority of my Mom's funeral and I can't do it again. I think it's time Glori sees how hard it truly is and how selfish she was when my Mom died. Or not. She is who she is and that's between her and God.
I comfort myself with this song as music is my haven and how I heal. May it provide some consolation to you if you have faith in God and have lost someone too. And if you haven't found peace with God, I encourage you to do so. You will never know the depth of the love you can feel until you repent and turn from your way of living to the way God has set forth before you....
God bless you. Thank you for taking the time to read my heart's message. Means a lot. Now I better get ready for my biz work call. Back to writing for another university. And healing....
Georgetown, Texas, home of the “Most Beautiful Town Square in Texas.” Just 25 miles north of Austin, Georgetown is an ideal Valentine’s destination for couples or a girls' trip to celebrate Galentine's Day. Visitors can enjoy a wide variety of local shops, award-winning restaurants, wine-tasting rooms, art galleries, a hike and bike trail along the San Gabriel River, and more.
When I lived in Austin, TX, I attended Georgetown's fun Christmas celebration where all the stores stay open late, there were Christmas carolers, lights, and hot chocolate all around the square. It's quite festive and very historic. What I liked about it was the size and festive environment. It's one of the larger town square's I saw in the short time I lived there and they knew how to throw a Christmas celebration!
Here's some of the fun itineraries I was sent to showcase. Enjoy!
For the outdoorsy couple: Visit one of Georgetown's parks for a picnic, stroll around Southwestern University's campus, or take a hike along the award-winning nine-mile hike & bike trail. Pick up the trail at any number of stops, from Lake Georgetown to San Gabriel Park.
For a nice dinner: Just two of many delicious, stylish options include Golden Rule and Encantada Cocina +Cantina. Both located near and around the Square. Golden Rules is a speak-easy style restaurant with a menu of southern-inspired, creative fare along with great craft cocktails. Encantada Cocina+Cantina serves interiorMexican dishes with a tex-mex twist in a beautiful setting along the San Gabriel River..
For wine and dessert lovers: The historic town square alone is home to The Baked Bear, Galaxy Bakery, Kilwin’s Ice Cream and Fudge, and Lulu’s Pie Shop. Also on the square, enjoy a wine tasting at Grape Creek Vineyards, Georgetown Winery and/or Baron’s Creek VineyardsPlus, feel free to take a glass of your favorite pour and continue sipping while you visit other shops.
For art lovers: Visit the various art galleries such as The Gallery Off the Square and don't miss the latest 2025 exhibits at the Georgetown Art Center.
For theatre lovers: Catch a show at the Georgetown Palace Theatre. This historic cultural landmark produces a year-round schedule of acclaimed live musicals and plays.
Charming places to stay: Two of the city’s most romantic B&Bs include San Gabriel House and the Harty House. Click here to see more than 20 local B&B and Guest Houses options.
Last night I attended the very interesting and fun annual Green Galactic PR "Chicks in the Biz" party that my friend Lynn Tejada throws for a rotating group of female business owners and leaders which created an epiphany for me.
PR people are the most social, most active and most intelligent people I know and my friend Lynn is no exception. As a result, the women she surrounds herself with are the same which makes for a very entertaining night. As you can imagine, with 40 plus women networking and connecting, it does get a little loud.:) Lynn is also a very gracious hostess with the mostest. Don't ask me when or how we met, it's been too long, but I am grateful we're friends.
But that wasn't my epiphany. It was this.
When your professional life revolves around going out, socializing, attending red carpet events and smaller more intimate one-of-a-kind events, your circle becomes the people you see out and about. You have friendships that are strong because you see each other frequently in social circles even when you may never see them outside the event. But those friendships are just as strong as those you see or have known for years because of the common professional bond you share. This is especially true if you're a sole proprietor and you work and live alone.
As one new friend stated last night, "I go out nightly because if I don't, thoughts I don't want creep in and it's not good." And that is where my epiphany hit me. I currently live in Anaheim where I know no one and have new church and work friends and my roommate, but otherwise, don't really know people. As a result, I stay home more than I would normally.
What I also realized in talking to other entrepreneurs last night around a campfire, is that we're all still recovering from the trauma of the pandemic. So many people died, so many friendships were ended due to the lockdown, so many cherished businesses and areas were decimated and closed down forever, and so many favorite events ended, and people stopped communicating with those who had a different opinion on how to deal with the pandemic that we're all having to learn what life is like without our familiar touchstones and it's hard.
This Thanksgiving was one of the hardest I've ever experienced because it was the first time I didn't have my Aunt and Dad to spend time with. My Aunt died recently and now that I'm not worrying about my Dad, the grief over the loss of my Aunt has sometimes been overwhelming. I hear a song she loved and I just start to cry. I can't help it.
Recently, I went to the opening of the new River Street Marketplace in San Juan Capistrano, CA and wished my Aunt was alive to take her there with me. Her nursing home was just down the road and she was the person who introduced me to the quaint historic Los Rios shopping area that now hosts River Street Marketplace. She would have really enjoyed all the hustle and bustle and kids playing in the green park in the middle of all the surrounding shopping and dining. I had fun, but wishing my Aunt was with me was always present.
I also realized last night that the reason this transition has been so difficult is because my friends I would normally socialize with, see very regularly and enjoy mental, visual and physical stimulation with by attending an event, I don't. It's like half my life has been shut down and last night was the first night it felt awakened in over 2 years. I felt shy and overwhelmed at first, but found my group and we hung out around a campfire while everyone was inside sharing their pitch for work which wasn't what I needed. I needed community and conversation.
I bumped into an old friend, Jennifer Yeko, who now runs a career coaching business where she helps people with their resumes, Linkedin profiles, strategy, job leads and more. I've known her for years too and it was like bumping into family which was so comforting. We still have things in common even after not seeing each other for years and picked right up where we left off like no time had passed.
That is what I miss. The family like experience you always felt when you went out. Those were the people who understood your lifestyle, your career, your frustrations, your joys, and your dreams and goals. The rest of society didn't and that was ok because they fulfilled other roles, just in more minor places.
And this is where I had my epiphany in greater detail.
Due to moving to Florida during the pandemic, then Texas and now back to the South Bay, it's like all the people in my life who would normally play a much smaller role due to my professional and personal support system in my career, were pushed into a bigger role because I have been so cut off from my normal life.
Friends I would see maybe once a month if that, suddenly I wanted to see more often and spend time with and expected they would too. However, they're still the once a month friend, see you around friend, fit you in when I can friend, and my life is super busy, when will yours be friend. Not my social circle, but my social drop in friend.
And expecting them to be anything different than what they were before wasn't fair to them, nor has it been to me. They are who they are, I'm the one who has changed. I'm the one who wants to play a bigger role in their lives that they don't have space for, nor apparently, the desire to. And that has to be ok in order to maintain the friendship. Or not.
I can't expect someone who has a family, and suffers from past unresolved trauma which makes certain situations overwhelming and who struggles with setting boundaries to allow me to interfere with Thanksgiving rituals just because I'm all alone. It's not feasible in the manner in which they live to allow it and being hurt by their statement, "It would ruin the dynamic and I don't get to see my kids very often," even though they recently spent an entire weekend together in Palm Springs, and were going out to a restuarant doesn't mean I should expect her to ever understand the deep pain and hurt it caused me that day to be so rejected, rather than welcomed and included. I don't think she's capable and I have to either accept that is who she is and that's ok, or end a 30 year friendship.
I've been struggling with this since Thanksgiving and neither of us have called to reconcile, perhaps because we're both doing the same thing. Deciding on whether or not to continue our delicate dance. When she said what she said, I blurted out, "Then why I am back in CA?" to which she hung up. That hurt even more, but I know her and know she couldn't handle the truth or the confrontation. It was too much for her. It always is, but that particular day it hit even harder. She hasn't been there for me for many of the heart wrenching life experiences I've gone through even when I keep turning to her for love and support. I've had time to really think is this what I want to continue accepting? And I can only imagine what she's thinking.
I think after this whole situation with my Dad choosing my niece and Paul over his own daughter, I've come to really evaluate what I put up with in my life and whether or not I want to continue living like this with half or negative relationships, or do I want full friendships where people truly are there for me.
Do I want to be close friends with a friend who is having a very small intimate wedding and has decided not to include me over a friend who constantly uses her who another friend has called a "loser" to help this friend see how bad this person is for her, or do I want to let this friendship become less a priority and focus more on what I want in life.
Evaluating life's choices and the people I choose as friends and family has been very difficult. Being alone so much, all you have are your thoughts and God. It's easy to fall into self-doubting and defeat, but more and more I can see I'm a survivor. I will get through this season and make new friends who love and cherish and support me. I will have fun. I will make new memories and although my older friends will always hold a special place in my life and my heart, they won't take such priority over doing what I think is important for me any longer. As they probably are doing too.
They will move back into their "once-a-month if that" realm of spending time together and I will cultivate friendships that nourish and feed my soul as I will do theirs. My other friend recently had surgery and was in a rehab center in Santa Monica. Each time I visit which hasn't been that often, but what I can spend, it takes over an hour to reach her and we spend about 2-3 hours together just talking and sharing. I've known her forever too, but we haven't spent a lot of time together since I returned home, but after these last two visits, I know I will now.
Each time she has complimented my hair, my makeup, my weight loss, and we've shared memories that mean a lot to both of us. Sometimes you have to let go of the shallow friendships to find the ones that are deeper. And even though it's new, it feels good to re-arrange friendships like chess pieces in The Queen's Gambit to create the family you need, not the family you were given.
And that's ok.
May you find your friend family too this season. We all deserve love.
Well, after 2 attempts to gain temporary conservatorship of my Dad and move him into Silverado Memory Care facility to allow him to receive proper care, I have lost. And I finally have to accept the fact my Dad will never believe those in charge of his care aren't medically qualified, have caused his quick decline and this is an awful end of life, but that is his absolute choice, so be it.
I'm walking away from everything and everyone to maintain my sanity and remove any obstacle of his dying quickly to allow him to be out of pain and suffering. It wasn't an easy decision, but after much prayers by all my friends and church and KLOVE, I have to accept this is God's will for my family at this time.
Doesn't mean I agree with it, but I think I've reached the acceptance stage of my grief. I have cried and yelled out to God over these past few months because I didn't want to believe that my Dad wouldn't choose health and life, but I also have to remember this fact about him. He has dementia and because of that will cling to what is familiar, even when it's not in his best interests.
Falling 3 times in less than 10 days was heartbreaking to learn about recently and I have to simply leave him to his choice because the court has made it clear this is what they think is best. Even though the court-appointed attorney has only seen my Dad twice. I can't fight against 5 people including 2 lawyers so I give up. I did everything in my power to protect my Dad.
But I still didn't want to let go of the hope that I could have a real relationship with my Dad when I returned to care for him. You know what was the hardest part to watch? Seeing him do really well when I first came home and was able to cook healthy, nutritious meals for him. He was ready to take care of errands, do his exercises and everything else he had on his list, but his granddaughter refused to allow him and kept him at home. Losing his independence, his ability to drive and have some autonomy was the start of his decline.
Add all the legal and financial abuse that the family decided to instigate against me, it makes complete sense my Dad has failed as quickly as he has. I tried everything in my power to help him, and after one elder abuse social worker said I should pursue conservatorship to save him, as a last resort, I began working on that effort.
It wasn't easy and it was sad to think it had come to this, but I felt this was going to be the only way to remove the chokehold his granddaughter has had on his care. After his hospitalization, it only got worse with now her parents more involved and determined to prevent me from seeing him. More abuse keeping him isolated and preventing the socialization necessary to maintain a high quality of life.
So, my decision to "divorce" my family and this entire situation hasn't come easy. It's been gut wrenching, but when people begin lying about you to maintain control and threaten legal action based on these lies, then it's time to self preserve first. I refuse to have my integrity damaged by liars. Because that is who Miranda Cavin is. But then again, so is her mother Glori, so why should the apple drop any further from the tree?
When you don't see me at my Dad's funeral just know I will be honoring him in my own way apart from the toxic people who surrounded him at the end. I want nothing more to do with any of them. I really hope my complaint with the CA State Bar is taken seriously and actions are taken to prevent people from ever doing something like this again to another vulnerable senior.
All this to say, when it's time to consider your own end of life plans be absolutely certain the person you assign to manage your healthcare will be living in the same state as you are to see to your care firsthand and have the ability to deal with medical professionals and trust their judgment. And if a caregiver isn't medically trained and is cooking bad foods for you or who you are caring for, change agencies immediately as they will continue their ignorance because they have no training.
Also, make sure that there won't be people who have NO medical training responsible for your final care. I also encourage you to get everything in writing and consider moving into a home that will help you maintain your health beyond what an inexperienced, ignorant family member decides is best. Greed has a funny way of changing even the best intentions of anyone involved.
What's sad is when I share with certain people my story, they can't believe it and are horrified at the extent this elder abuse has taken, but then others share they have friends going through similar experiences. It's becoming more common due to so many people reaching the end of their lives either due to illness or old age.
All this to say, time to enter a new chapter of my life without those I have called family. It's been a toxic experience my entire life and I am ready to shed that toxicity once and for all to live free and happy.
The day after I was told I wouldn't get temporary conservatorship the second time because I hadn't submitted the $8,000 psychological evaluation necessary to determine Dad is incapacitated despite his neurologist writing in a letter on July 30, 2024 that Dad can't handle his legal, financial, or medical decisions any longer and despite the first judge willing to grant it to me based on the probate investigator's recommendation, I had decided this would be my last attempt and trust that this was God's will for my Dad. (I had lost the first time because the prepaid legal attorney had said to ask for limited conservatorship rather than general, causing me to have to re-file.)
That day I found out yet again I wouldn't get to help Dad any further, I drove to Ojai and sobbed and yelled at God, spoke to a close friend and a therapist to get all the rage and hurt and sorrow out of my system. Ojai is my healing place and it felt good to release all the pain and sorrow there to return free of this heavy burden of caring for Dad I've been carrying since my Mom died in 2016.
The next morning, after dreaming for the first time in a long time, I woke up happy and relieved. I AM FREE! I no longer have to worry about my Dad, worry how many more lies Miranda will tell about me, or see any of them ever again. It feels really good to not attend his funeral. I will honor his memory privately.
You know what else is really ironic? The week before all this went down I was with my therapist and we decided to do an EMDR therapy treatment about my relationship with my Dad. I was surprised at how many negative experiences over my entire lifetime came up that I had buried and now could heal from.
As my Aunt would say, I'm resilient and I'm a survivor. I miss her a lot now that I live in OC and near where she was living before she passed. (If you're in Orange County, I highly recommend The Orchards as a resource for your final years.) I find there are things I want to tell her, but she's gone and so I keep them to myself because no one else will really appreciate it like she would have.
As Thanksgiving approaches and is the one holiday I always shared with my parents and my Aunt and Uncle, the loss of everyone hits deeper than it ever has before. I can't bear to see my Dad half-alive and really don't believe he will live to see Christmas. This will be one of the few Thanksgivings I didn't spend with my CA family because I don't consider those who live in CO family ever really. Neither TX now as I see that sister has sided with someone who chose to abuse me. I have no safety so choose to avoid everyone and everything.
I'll never forget living in Echo Park for a month and thinking I wouldn't go to Thanksgiving that year at my Aunt and Uncle's home. But the next day, Black Friday, I missed everyone so much I drove all the way to San Diego to surprise them and we went shopping together like we loved doing. They were so happy to see me and I was so happy to be there.
I have to cling to the happy, positive memories and move forward. If you've lived with a toxic family, you get what I'm saying. If your family isn't like this, then you won't. And that's ok. I hope there's more of you that don't get it, than do, because it's hell to not feel safe with the people you're supposed to have safety with.
Fortunately, I have a Christian family who love me, support me, believe in and are there for me who have been there for me over the years. That's why I'm excited to be part of Mariner's Church now. Everyone I have met is so warm and welcoming and loving. I feel accepted and encouraged by their new friendships.
My other Christian friends I've known for years are spread out all over, but I feel their love and support too. I couldn't have made it these last 5 months without them praying for me and loving me.
So this is why I know, moving forward, I will be ok. Just because I don't have my biological family any longer, I have a spiritual family who is really caring and they will help me move forward as they have always done so. I leave you with this song to encourage you if you're experiencing something similar in your family of origin:
God loves you and so do I. Now have a wonderful holiday season! I plan to and hope you do too!
Disclaimer: Please note, some links are affiliate links and I will gain a commission from you purchasing through them. Thank you!
My Father trusted a man named Paul Huddle who ran an organization called The Gathering Of Men to become his Power of Attorney.
My Dad is 92 years old now and is being basically held captive by his granddaughter, Miranda Cavin, and Paul Huddle.
I have made numerous reports to Adult Protective Services starting from when I returned to CA from TX to protect him from his granddaughter's neglect and Paul’s explotation of his mental capacity as it surrounds my Dad's trust.
Two weeks into my stay with my father, Miranda attempted to persuade my Dad to file a restraining order against me because I was revealing all the times she left him alone, didn't make sure he had seen his doctors, and didn't ensure he received a kidney shot that is crucial for his well-being.
During the time prior, Paul swore up and down that he was overseeing Miranda and she was doing a fine job.
Meanwhile, my Dad didn't have eyeglasses or hearing aids for weeks which Paul swore was being taken care of. It didn't happen until my sister Grace and I got involved.
This supposed "man of God" began plotting then on how to remove me from caring for my Dad. He is thwarted because my Dad loves me and refuses to take any legal acti9n against me because he knows I'm caring for him.
When I came back to CA, my Dad had cockroaches in his kitchen because Miranda was so slovenly. I threw away food from 2023 that she never checked. I was appalled at my Dad's living conditions and began filing report after report after report.
The social worker would come and help make some changes, but now it's only getting worse.
The VA social worker I brought my Dad to was hijacked by Miranda and her mother Glori, who manipulated my Dad who has dementia, to remove Grace, my other sister and myself, from Dad's medical HIPAA.
Miranda, Glori and Paul have ignored medical advice not to leave my Dad alone and for him to wear hearing aids to help slow down dementia because as Glori and Paul say, it's OK he can't hear, he's old. That happens.
I have fought and fought and fought on my Dad's behalf to keep him safe, but now that he went into the hospital and Glori's husband decided to take over medical power of attorney, it's been downhill ever since because now the Cavin's have full control of Dad's health and the caregiver.
Oh, and ironically, I'm the one who set Dad up with the VA social worker and Always Best Care, but am also the one shut out. You can read my review of Always Best Care on Google and Yelp. It isn't good.
So, if you were me and there were 4 adults damned and determined to prevent you from having any contact with your father, call the police on you for no reason except to exert control, would you walk away?
Because what's at stake is my Dad's health and the fact Paul has deliberately refused to update the trust with an amendment protecting my inheritance my Dad wants me to have repeatedly, always finding excuses not to do, threatening me, and then manipulating my Dad yet again to attempt to sue me.
Paul yelled at me while my Dad was on the phone with us causing my Dad undue stress and then coming over to Dad's house to finish the job, requiring my Dad to go to the hospital to make sure he was OK.
At what point do you get the police to arrest Paul for financial elder abuse and misconduct? When is there enough to prove Paul is manipulating my Dad to do what Paul wants and not my Dad?
Oh, and the beauty is having a 30 year friendship be betrayed because this person bad mouthed me to someone I ended up meeting who told me what that woman said behind my back.
My Texas and Florida friends say, stay in a community for awhile and build relationships. How can I when I'm fighting for my Dad's safety and health all the time?
Would you let Paul’s manipulation go unobservef? Or would you attem0t to have his church peers speak to him and ask him to act more like a man of God than a petulant proud, arrogant, selfish person that he is right now?
I've never been yelled at by another man before and the fact that my Dad thought that was OK only tells me how far gone Dad is. I really hope one of the social workers will finally take my side and listen to the recordings I've had to make confirming my dad wants no legal action taken against me.
Paul is now threatening me with a lawsuit using my Dad's money because he thinks he can just manipulate the trust to cover his legal fees! When does the law stick up for the victim? That's what I don't get?
I wish my Dad would just give me my inheritance now to avoid having to continue dealing with any of the Cavins or Paul Huddle. He's such an asshole while my Dad is alive I'm sure it will be even worse once Dad is gone.
I only lift the carpet to reveal all the snakes because I'm so tired of this going on behind closed doors I could scream it from the rooftops if only someone would hear me.
I tried mediation, but that lasted an hour before Grace shut it down. Glori is so intent on revenge, she doesn't care about trying to make things work. She has control through her husband so she could care less what happens to Dad now.
My friends tell me they're praying we will all get along, but then I tell them Miranda has blocked my phone number from my Dad's phones and they are shocked. But not as shocked as when they learned Miranda decided to call the police after I asked the caregiver not to serve my Dad fried food and the woman stormed off the job.
At a certain point, I can only take so much abuse and have to take care of myself. Put the oxygen mask on before caring for anyone else.
So, in case you know any men still involved with Paul Huddle's Gathering of Men ministry who are thinking of using him in their end of life plans, I would highly recommend you find someone else.
He is proud, arrogant, ignorant of the law, abusive in his control of money that isn't even his and doesn't have my Dad's best interests at heart and probably will do the same to you.
And I have recordings, signed "contracts" he manipulated my Dad to sign, and other evidence that will all come out in court.
You can run, but you can't hide. That goes for Miranda too. She may think this game is over, but it's not until I see her and Paul in jail for what they've done to me and my Dad. Elder abuse is serious.
My Father trusted a man named Paul Huddle who ran an organization called The Gathering Of Men to become his Power of Attorney.
My Dad is 92 years old now and is being basically held captive by his granddaughter, Miranda Cavin, and Paul Huddle.
I have made numerous reports to Adult Protective Services starting from when I returned to CA from TX to protect him from his granddaughter's neglect and Paul’s explotation of his mental capacity as it surrounds my Dad's trust.
Two weeks into my stay with my father, Miranda attempted to persuade my Dad to file a restraining order against me because I was revealing all the times she left him alone, didn't make sure he had seen his doctors, and didn't ensure he received a kidney shot that is crucial for his well-being.
During the time prior, Paul swore up and down that he was overseeing Miranda and she was doing a fine job.
Meanwhile, my Dad didn't have eyeglasses or hearing aids for weeks which Paul swore was being taken care of. It didn't happen until my sister Grace and I got involved.
This supposed "man of God" began plotting then on how to remove me from caring for my Dad. He is thwarted because my Dad loves me and refuses to take any legal acti9n against me because he knows I'm caring for him.
When I came back to CA, my Dad had cockroaches in his kitchen because Miranda was so slovenly. I threw away food from 2023 that she never checked. I was appalled at my Dad's living conditions and began filing report after report after report.
The social worker would come and help make some changes, but now it's only getting worse.
The VA social worker I brought my Dad to was hijacked by Miranda and her mother Glori, who manipulated my Dad who has dementia, to remove Grace, my other sister and myself, from Dad's medical HIPAA.
Miranda, Glori and Paul have ignored medical advice not to leave my Dad alone and for him to wear hearing aids to help slow down dementia because as Glori and Paul say, it's OK he can't hear, he's old. That happens.
I have fought and fought and fought on my Dad's behalf to keep him safe, but now that he went into the hospital and Glori's husband decided to take over medical power of attorney, it's been downhill ever since because now the Cavin's have full control of Dad's health and the caregiver.
Oh, and ironically, I'm the one who set Dad up with the VA social worker and Always Best Care, but am also the one shut out. You can read my review of Always Best Care on Google and Yelp. It isn't good.
So, if you were me and there were 4 adults damned and determined to prevent you from having any contact with your father, call the police on you for no reason except to exert control, would you walk away?
Because what's at stake is my Dad's health and the fact Paul has deliberately refused to update the trust with an amendment protecting my inheritance my Dad wants me to have repeatedly, always finding excuses not to do, threatening me, and then manipulating my Dad yet again to attempt to sue me.
Paul yelled at me while my Dad was on the phone with us causing my Dad undue stress and then coming over to Dad's house to finish the job, requiring my Dad to go to the hospital to make sure he was OK.
At what point do you get the police to arrest Paul for financial elder abuse and misconduct? When is there enough to prove Paul is manipulating my Dad to do what Paul wants and not my Dad?
Oh, and the beauty is having a 30 year friendship be betrayed because this person bad mouthed me to someone I ended up meeting who told me what that woman said behind my back.
My Texas and Florida friends say, stay in a community for awhile and build relationships. How can I when I'm fighting for my Dad's safety and health all the time?
Would you let Paul’s manipulation go unobservef? Or would you attem0t to have his church peers speak to him and ask him to act more like a man of God than a petulant proud, arrogant, selfish person that he is right now?
I've never been yelled at by another man before and the fact that my Dad thought that was OK only tells me how far gone Dad is. I really hope one of the social workers will finally take my side and listen to the recordings I've had to make confirming my dad wants no legal action taken against me.
Paul is now threatening me with a lawsuit using my Dad's money because he thinks he can just manipulate the trust to cover his legal fees! When does the law stick up for the victim? That's what I don't get?
I wish my Dad would just give me my inheritance now to avoid having to continue dealing with any of the Cavins or Paul Huddle. He's such an asshole while my Dad is alive I'm sure it will be even worse once Dad is gone.
I only lift the carpet to reveal all the snakes because I'm so tired of this going on behind closed doors I could scream it from the rooftops if only someone would hear me.
I tried mediation, but that lasted an hour before Grace shut it down. Glori is so intent on revenge, she doesn't care about trying to make things work. She has control through her husband so she could care less what happens to Dad now.
My friends tell me they're praying we will all get along, but then I tell them Miranda has blocked my phone number from my Dad's phones and they are shocked. But not as shocked as when they learned Miranda decided to call the police after I asked the caregiver not to serve my Dad fried food and the woman stormed off the job.
At a certain point, I can only take so much abuse and have to take care of myself. Put the oxygen mask on before caring for anyone else.
So, in case you know any men still involved with Paul Huddle's Gathering of Men ministry who are thinking of using him in their end of life plans, I would highly recommend you find someone else.
He is proud, arrogant, ignorant of the law, abusive in his control of money that isn't even his and doesn't have my Dad's best interests at heart and probably will do the same to you.
And I have recordings, signed "contracts" he manipulated my Dad to sign, and other evidence that will all come out in court.
You can run, but you can't hide. That goes for Miranda too. She may think this game is over, but it's not until I see her and Paul in jail for what they've done to me and my Dad. Elder abuse is serious.
I don't really know what I want to write today, except that I need to say something. I went to Kelp Journal's book launch last night at the Hermosa Beach Museum and listening to everyone read excerpts from their stories inspired me to share.
I recently lost my favorite Aunt, the last remaining relative of my little Mom, and I have felt numb. I keep waiting for the tears and sobs I experienced when my Uncle died a few years earlier, but think because his death was sudden, whereas she was in hospice and expected to die any day, perhaps I grieved earlier? I can't tell, but I wish the heaviness in my chest would go away.
I finally finished watching the final season of Ted Lasso, and watching "Ted" struggle to stay in Europe away from his young son and all the emotions that raised for him was how I felt living in TX knowing my Dad needed me. I also loved all the other subplots with various characters, but none more than "Rebecca" because I desire to love and be loved like her too. And watching the regret of the "Wonder Kid" as he turned his back on his "football" family and endured his Dad's critical nature, made me desire to have a loving community that would stand by me too, as the Captain did for Hughes and Rebecca did for the crazy publicist, Keeley.
Here's a compilation someone made of what they felt were the best parts of the show, but to me the entire show was stellar Jason Sudeikis.
Grief is so weird.
I know when I was living in Alpine, TX and my friend's husband had a stroke, I just cried and cried when I found out because I had a feeling he wouldn't recover. We were 3 hours from the closest major hospital and it seemed inevitable although we all held out hope and prayers. I visited him in the hospital where his wife held vigil and told him I loved him, encouraged my friend and sat until I couldn't sit still any longer.
The loss of a loved one is never easy. And the older I become, the less easier it is as more and more loved ones pass. When I lived here in CA 2021 or was it 2022? I can't remember, but I do know 6 family and close friends died within 6 months and I couldn't handle thinking if I stayed living with my Dad, I would one day wake up to see him dead too.
My Dad understood and along with my friend, Bobby, helped packed up my car to allow me to go live in Florida and escape. My Dad continues to surprise us and recently celebrated his 92nd birthday early September. It's a miracle and testimony to his strength of will because many of his circle of Over the Hill gang buddies have passed away recently.
One man died a week after moving into an assisted living place which may be one reason my Dad doesn't want to move into one. Another had a bad fall and soon passed away not long after. Both men were long-time family friends whose children I had attended school with and it was a sad day when we heard.
I have to wonder how losing all my Dad's friends is affecting his mental health because there has to be a toll, even though he would never talk about it. I remember when my little Mom died and he and I were writing thank you notes to everyone who came to her memorial how precious that time was together. We would think of what he wanted to say to express his appreciation for their support and it was one of the most loving, vulnerable times I've ever shared with my Dad.
Although I've written in the past about some of the trauma I've experienced with him growing up, more and more, the older I become, I remember all the good times too that made my childhood so special and unique.
Like when he turned our Christmas presents into animals like an elephant or rabbit. Or Sunday afternoons when Mom served us Sunday dinner after church and we would be "forced" to listen to classical music to gain an appreciation for the arts. Or while living in Reno, NV we all rode our bikes to hear live music in the park and would eat watermelon while we listened. Or my favorite memory, when we were traveling cross country, Dad would buy a gallon of ice cream and a huge bottle of root beer and we would have root beer floats as lunch. That was always the best.
He never would let me become a cheerleader or wear Ditto pants because he never wanted us to be sexualized like so many young women were. I didn't attend my prom, didn't wear shorts to school because it wasn't respectful, and went to church 5 times a week, Sunday 3 times, Wednesday Bible Study, Friday youth group. I'll never forget how liberating it felt when I went to Bible College after high school to skip services.
Ironically, attending Montana Wilderness Bible College (now known by another name) in the wilderness outside Augusta, MT, it was the first time I tried a glass of wine, saw my first R-rated movie, got to wear whatever I wanted because other students thought Californians were crazy anyway, and hiked a mountain by myself. It was also my first school-wide food fight in the school cafeteria, first nickname, first of many crushes on the guys there too, first time pranking the guys, first time being away from home, first time throwing a Good Bye MASH party where I was Hot Lips Hoolihan, and first time seeing that adultery could happen even in a Christian school.
I'm still friends with many of the friends I made during that one year and have stayed with almost all of them during various trips. I think when you're 18 or 19 years old, those friendships define who you are and leave an imprint on your life that many others do not.
I remember returning from that year feeling changed, and hating all the concrete of CA because I couldn't see the beauty of the ocean after living amongst trees and hills. It's probably why I chose to attend another Christian school in the Pacific Northwest. I loved all the greenery, but I grew to dislike the rain.
That time, when I returned from school, all I could see was the sunshine and I wondered why anyone ever stayed inside when the glorious sun was always shining.
Every time I've left CA, I've returned and seen something new that I appreciate. This time it's been the very temperate weather. After living in TX for 2 years, where it feels like you're walking into an open oven every time you open your door during the summer, even when we've had a heatwave here, it hasn't affected me and I've still loved CA weather.
But I constantly ask myself, is CA really where I will end up? I still don't like the policies of Governor Newsom. I resent the increased crime and homelessness. And I hate how unaffordable everything is. I daydream about living overseas and wonder which country will I escape to next. Unless work comes through here in the USA first. I just don't know any more.
I watch Emily in Paris and eagerly soak in the TV version of Paris and Rome. Are these cities I will love with the same passion "Emily" does? Will I meet someone overseas like she does? Recently, one of my close friends has met the love of her life and it gives me hope that one day I too, will meet the partner I am to spend the rest of my life with.
But as I told the guy in the waiting room of my mechanic, how can I date anyone when my main priority is making sure my Dad is taken care of and until I know for a fact I'm not needed to do so, can I rest. And that constant state of fear and worry isn't healthy. I recently began taking a Magnesium supplement and finally am almost sleeping the entire night. I haven't felt this rested in ages. It's like the nooks and crannies of my body that were empty and making me feel fragile have been getting filled in so I feel almost fully human again.
I've also really enjoyed helping people find and buy their favorite cruises and vacations as a Travel Advisor again. I forgot how much I love sharing my knowledge and travel expertise to help people find the right hotels, restaurants, and things to do wherever they're going.
Happy to help you too!
But it all feels temporary, like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, or when my Dad will pass. I feel the time I have left with him I want to enjoy every moment that I can despite all the obstacles and issues my family and a friend of my fathers throws my way to prevent me doing so. It's why I returned to CA, but will it continue to be the reason I stay? I haven't decided.
All I know is, after listening to the life story of Mariner's Pastor Eric Geiger this morning, and the love and kindness his father expressed towards him after a disastrous summer purge like experience, it has made me emotional all day. To see a grown man choke up when sharing about his Dad's love for him, it made me think of my Aunt and my Dad. And my friends here who have loved and held me up during my life.
My Aunt was my confidante, my friend, my teacher, my role model, my cooking inspiration, and my ideal of what it meant to live a life of class and courage. Despite experiencing numerous heart attacks, strokes, the loss of her leg below her knee, she continued to live with grace and dignity and humor. Even when she couldn't speak, she would still manage to say, Whoo hooo, when she liked something someone said. She remained competitive too, winning costume jewelry at bingo.
I remember asking her once why she wore so much gold and diamond jewelry. She replied, it's my armor and gives me confidence. I've never been one to wear much jewelry and didn't understand it, but seeing her pile on the costume bracelets and necklaces later when she couldn't wear her real jewelry in the nursing home, I had to wonder if it was serving another purpose.
Each friend and family member I've lost has given me something special to remember them by. My friend Alex taught me the value of homeopathic medicine and how to be honest in male/female friendships. My friend John taught me how to be a better publicist and friend. My friend Evie taught me to keep moving forward and not let the turkeys get me down. My friend Suzy taught me how to live extravagantly and fully. My friend Dave taught me what it meant to be a loving father and husband as he lived into his 90's. My Uncle taught me the value of stability and choosing to live a life of focus. My Aunt taught me how to live courageously and positively.
I believe we truly don't appreciate the wisdom and love in our lives until we don't have those friends or family members around any more. That said, it's why I want to spend as much time with my Dad while he is living. I don't want to have any regrets that I didn't spend time with him, care for him or do right by him. I just don't.
That's why I'll continue pursuing every avenue I can to make his final days or months quality. I want him to know I loved him and was there for him. I want my conscience to be clean and to have peace when he passes that I did everything I could to make his life better when he couldn't do it for himself.
Like I tried to do for my Aunt. And all my other friends I've loved and lost. They have all touched my life in ways I will never forget. They made hard times easier and good times better. I sometimes wonder if I'll find new friends like them, but until then, I will keep on living the best way I can and loving on the friends I still have around me.
If you want to hear an amazing story of living with no regrets, I highly recommend taking a listen to the message Pastor Eric Geiger of Mariner's Church shared today. It will touch your heart and maybe even your soul if you let it.
Now that I'm back in the South Bay, I'm discovering new restaurants have popped up while I've been living in Texas these past two years. I'm obsessed with Tommy & Atticus bakery in Redondo Beach and apparently I'm not the only one. I loved the veggie sandwich I had the other day, but when I attempted to buy another at 1pm, they were sold out! Then, when I arrived at 11am the next day to make sure I got one, there was a long line! I think everyone else agrees this is a bakery you don't want to miss.
I bought one pastry and the meat sandwich for variety sake. The sandwich was so filling I had it for lunch and dinner. The bread is so yummy I can see why people stock up and are willing to spend $48 a pop on bread and other goodies here.
I plan to cover a domestic, international and Caribbean destination, a travel app and travel product highlights of my The Joy Writer Studio Etsy store in each issue. Here's the intro: "I love introducing clients to all the latest travel recommendations and designing the perfect trip that's tailored to your interests and dreams. Contact me today! 512-820-0749 or my official travel agent website on Travel Leaders Network, one of the leading travel consortiums: https://www.travelleaders.com/agent/349226
I'm also participating in a Virgin Voyages webinar I wanted to invite you to join in too! Learn what it means to SET SAIL THE VIRGIN WAY with VirginVoyages! Join me, along with members of the VirginVoyages Sales Crew to hear about all the excitement and BRAND NEW ITINERARIES sailing out of New York, Miami and LA. (Or feel free to click through and book yourself as I receive a small commission. Either way, no cost to you!)
Monday, AUGUST 19 7PM - 7:30PM CST
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Lastly, when I lived in Austin, TX I used to cook for my apartment complex on a weekly basis. I have to wonder if there's people here who might enjoy a home-cooked meal at a reasonable price too?
In any case, I really enjoyed it and miss cooking for people. I started this side hustle because I would cook up large meals and then shared it with my landlady who encouraged me to offer it to our community. It was great fun so maybe down the road I'll do it again. We'll see.
As I search for full-time and part-time work in digital marketing, copywriting and personal assisting work to supplement my income, I'm enjoying designing travel for clients, designing products for my Etsy store until I have more work demands. I'm interested in personal assistant work because I enjoy organizing people and managing administrative work. Know anyone looking? Send them my way!:) I'm very versatile and work well with entrepreneurs because I am one too.
I'm listening to Mandisa for a little encouragement tonight after a 3-hour nap today. I don't know why I sleep so much here in Texas, but from what I've read my body has been in a constant state of fight or flight and now that I'm healing, my body is catching up on years of lack of rest.
Kind of excited. My next therapy session is the actual EMDR treatment that is supposed to heal your trauma by connecting parts of your brain that have been cut off to prevent the healing in the first place. As I write this, this song has come on, We all Bleed the Same by Mandisa featuring Toby Mac, and Kirk Franklin.
I'm a little sad listening to this because I just learned Mandisa was found dead in her home this past week. She was such a bright light and her music has often gotten me through some really difficult times. Klove would play it and I would just blare it while living in Atlanta, GA the most recent time.
"It is not often—if ever—that a former U.S. congresswoman and a Good Morning America host co-star in a Christian music video. Last week a new music video debuted from American Idol season five finalist Mandisa, and it features both Gabby Giffords and Robin Roberts. The music video for Mandisa’s hit song “Overcomer” includes never-before-seen footage of Giffords’ hospital recovery after she was shot in the head in 2011, and also documents Roberts’ journey overcoming breast cancer and myelodysplastic syndrome."
The Urban Music Scene dot com wrote this about this song in case you need some encouragement to watch it with me: "One of Gospel Music’s enlightening vocalists, Mandisa, is still on Billboard’s Christian Songs chart this week with the uplifting ballad, “Overcomer” – direct from Sparrow Records. The title track from the album, released in Aug 2013, has been picking up traction from the debut of a new official music video featuring special appearances from Robin Roberts, Gabby Giffords, and Olympic Gold medalist Scott Hamilton. Mandisa is an American Idol alumnus and a two-time Grammy nominee. The single is still #1 on Billboards Christian Songs chart after 17 weeks."
Mandisa Talks "Overcoming" struggles and more on Good Morning America Nice tribute by ABC here in case you don't know who she is. She was a beacon of hope for so many of us and was so honest and open about her mental health struggles.Here's a more detailed interview that goes into her difficult past and how she overcame it, but also, how it affected her entire life. I also feel sad about a TikTok influencer, Kyle Marisa Roth, whom I used to follow for Hollywood gossip who recently died at 37 years old, soon after she exposed JLo and P Diddy. Who knows if what she was saying is true, but I enjoyed her sense of humor, kindness, and ability to deep dive into celebrity's secrets. She had colon cancer and when JLo shut down her main TikTok account, Marisa lost a large part of her income to help cover her medical treatments. I wonder if this fact has ever pierced the conscience of the narcissist JLo is. All I got to say is karma is a bitch because JLo is being canceled faster than the Rock and Oprah!
I know Mandisa and Kyle are two extremely opposite people, but when they've been part of your life, however small, it does make you sad. Now, when Epstein died, not so much. But did you hear he may be living back on his island? I'll stop there. I'm in a better mood after honoring Mandisa and acknowledging Marisa. One loved God with all her heart and the other, celebrity culture and gossip.