Pure, Unadulterated Joy

Remembering Steve Jobs through the eyes of Walt Wilson, former Apple Managing Director, and me, a birthmom

By Joy A. Kennelly

This morning I attended the 20th Annual High Tech Prayer Breakfast which they claim as the largest networking event in Atlanta, GA with 1600 people in attendance and also, the earliest, beginning at 6am till 9am (I've been up since 4:30am to get there on time.:)

I had no idea what to expect, but since my friend, Curt Cain of iHealth Technologies, Inc., had invited me, I wanted to attend. We grew up in the same church in Manhattan Beach, CA and recently re-acquainted when he and his wife invited other CA "ex-pats" to a dinner this past week.

I have always felt a sense of family with other Christians because no matter how much time passes, there's a spiritual bond which ties us together no matter where we are, or what has happened. I really don't know how some people get through life without a spiritual component to their lives when I find such encouragement, support, and Godly love in my Christian life experiences. I know I couldn't make it living out here in Georgia without my faith in God and Christian friends. 

This morning's prayer breakfast was very inspiring to me on many levels as a result.

Back home in Los Angeles I have attended numerous tech conferences, networking mixers, seminars, and parties, and not once have I ever seen a spiritual aspect included. What a refreshing difference to meet CEO's, CFO's, Venture Capitalists, CTO's and more who are also following God and willing to be visible in this public realm by inviting men and women who have never heard the gospel to attend.

In light of Steve Jobs' passing, who I consider one of America's most brilliant innovators, it was very moving to hear Keynote Speaker, Walt Wilson, speak. He had been an early employee of Apple serving as the Managing Director of U.S. operations "as the company grew from just a start-up to a globally-recognized corporation with $5 billion in revenues."

Talk about a powerful way to start the day!

The host committee had gathered together to pray for Steve, his family and the prayer breakfast the night before when they heard the news of Steve Jobs' death. Walt said he had prepared a speech a few months back, but threw it all out at 3am.  He had planned to share what it was like working in Silicon Valley, working at Apple and his career, but felt what he had originally prepared wasn't appropriate after last night. 

Walt called Steve "My Boss, my Mentor, and my Friend" who had a thirst for excellence and never measured his success by market share.
He said Steve always wanted to the be BMW of the tech world and then revealed BMW really only held a 3% market share which was surprising to hear. 

What set Apple apart is it was always about computing, not the computers. It was about advancing technology more than anything else. Walt said Steve didn't care what anyone on Wall Street thought, or anyone else for that matter, which drew a laugh from the crowd. Walt also shared Steve always protected his family from his own celebrity which I admire. 

Walt shared only one personal anecdote of his experience working with Steve because it was difficult to speak so recently of someone he obviously cared deeply about. I would quote it, but want to preserve some of privacy of the breakfast.

However, I will share with you briefly Walt's story because it was fascinating to learn he had only graduated high school and served in the United States Marine Corps for three years which must have been great preparation for working alongside Steve Jobs.:)

He is currently "the founder and chairman of  Internet ministry Global Media Outreach (GMO). He was previously co-founder, chairman and CEO of Exclaim Technologies, Inc., an applications service provider in the business-to-business Internet market. Before that, he served as senior vice president and corporate officer of the consulting group Computer Sciences Corp. (CSC), a $16 billion, U.S. global corporation with 600 offices worldwide, employing over 100,000 people."

Pretty impressive, eh?

I've been attending numerous events this week; the Georgia Production Partnership monthly lunch meeting where I heard Comedy Writer, Dave Drabik of Fine Line Productions, speak; Inc and United Healthcare's holistic living panel seminar entitled Helping Businesses Grow Strong featuring Michael Tavani, co-founder of ScoutMob (mobile deals for the local curious), Sean Cook, CEO of Shop Visible, and CEO of Petrus Brands, Inc, Chris Morocco (Shane's Rib Shack and Planet Smoothie) which were great.

I've been meeting more CEO's and influential people here in Georgia faster than ever happened in CA. Hard to believe I've really only been here a little over two months after all.:) 

Have to admit though, although these other speakers were fantastic, informative and entertaining, this morning's breakfast spoke to me on a deeper level due to the spiritual component. When you consider Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Address on living and know he died last night, it really puts life into perspective. 

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life," he said.

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Here is his speech in its entirety because it's so powerful:

 

As Walt continued to speak, he challenged us to think about where we will spend eternity. If you died today do you know? He reminded us of the verses, Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." and John 3:17 "For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

If you've wanted a fresh start, forgiveness of your sins, or simply to surrender your life to God because whatever you're doing isn't working, please consider asking Him into your life. He will answer you when you call upon Him. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." I Peter 5:7 and “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13

I hope you do, but if you don't now, know God is there whenever you need him. I can tell you He has brought me through so much. I was personally touched to learn Steve Jobs was adopted since I'm a birthmother who has a 12 year old son I placed in adoption at birth. It was one of the hardest experiences to live through in my entire life.

When I see TV shows like Parenthood which recently mocked the sacredness of this experience in an episode called, "Hey, if you're not using that baby;" or see Glee's portrayal of a birthmother plotting to get her adopted baby back; or hear Grey's Anatomy recently wove an abortion subplot into their storyline, it grieves my spirit.

So much so, I wrote Ira Schreck of Schreck Rose Dapello Adams & Hurwitz, LLP who represents Jason Katims, to express my dismay. Here's a highlight to help you understand why this image of birthmothers and adoption in general needs to change:

"As a birthmother of a twelve year-old son I placed in adoption at birth, I was shocked and devastated to see one of the main characters asking a teen-age mother if she could, “Buy your baby.”

I admire how sensitively Jason Katims has handled Asperger and am writing to request he and his staff present adoption in the same sensitive manner. Children in adoption are not bought and sold. They are not cavalierly “given” away. They are thoughtfully, painfully, delicately “placed” with a family a birthmother considers will offer a better life for their child they feel they cannot offer at the time of their pregnancy.

 Please consider the ramifications of treating a human life so callously. Parenthood has the opportunity to present a side of adoption rarely seen on TV if done correctly. I would strongly urge Jason and all those involved with the success of this show to consider researching adoption through such resources as: www.birthmothers.org and www.adoption.com before writing any further episodes."

I have yet to hear a response and have avoided other episodes because that one was too painful. But to those in entertainment who write stories about adoption and/or abortion, consider this thought if you will...

What would the world be like if Steve Jobs' birthmother chose to abort him rather than choose adoption? He has impacted all our lives and he's just one of many talented, creative people who was adopted.

Here's a list of more famous adoptees and birthparents I bet you didn't know about:

Adopted Persons

Andy Berlin - entrepreneur: chairman of Berlin Cameron & Partners
Anthony Williams - politician
Aristotle - philosopher
Art Linkletter - comedian
Bo Diddley - musician, performer
Buffy Sainte-Marie - musician, actress
Carl-Theodor Dreyer - Danish film director
Charlotte Anne Lopez - Miss Teen USA
Christina Crawford - author
Clarissa Pinkola Estes - author
Crazy Horse - Lakota war chief
Dan O'Brien - decathlete
Daunte Culpepper - football player
Dave Thomas - entrepreneur: founder of Wendy's
Debbie Harry - singer 
D.M.C. - hip hop artist
Edgar Allan Poe - poet, writer
Edward Albee - playwright
Eleanor Roosevelt - First Lady
Eric Dickerson - athlete
Faith Daniels - news anchor
Faith Hill - country singer
Freddie Bartholomew - actor
George Washington Carver - inventor
Greg Louganis - athlete
James MacArthur - actor
James Michener - author
Jean Jacques Rousseau - philosopher
Jesse Jackson - minister
Jesus - adopted by Joseph the carpenter (Bible)
Jett Williams - country singer and author
Jim Palmer - athlete
John J. Audubon - naturalist
John Hancock - politician
John Lennon - musician
Langston Hughes - poet and writer
Larry Ellison - entrepreneur: chief executive of Oracle
Lee Majors - actor
Leo Tolstoy - writer
Les Brown - motivational speaker
Lynnette Cole - Miss USA 2000
Malcolm X - civil rights leader
Mark Acre - athlete
Matthew Laborteaux - actor
Melissa Gilbert - actress
Michael Reagan - author, talk show host
Moses - Biblical leader
Nancy Reagan - First Lady
Nat King Cole - singer
Nelson Mandela - politician
Patrick Labyorteaux - actor
Peter and Kitty Carruthers - figure skaters
President Gerald Ford - politician
President William Clinton - politician
Priscilla Presley - actress
Ray Liotta - actor
Reno - performance artist, comedian
Sarah McLachlan - singer
Scott Hamilton - figure skater
Sen. Paull H. Shin - politician
Sen. Robert Byrd - politician
Steve Jobs - entrepreneur: co-founder of Apple computer
Surya Bonaly - figure skater
Tim Green - football player/commentator
Tim McGraw - country singer
Tom Monaghan - entrepreneur
Tommy Davidson - comedian
Victoria Rowell - actress
Wilson Riles - educator

Birth Parents

Andy Kaufman - actor

Clark Gable - actor

David Crosby - singer

Faith Ireland - judge

Hank Williams, Sr. - country music legend

Kate Mulgrew - actress

Joni Mitchell - singer

Roseanne Barr - actress

Mercedes Ruehl - actress

Strom Thurmond - politician

Notice the list of birthparents is much shorter? There is so much stigma surrounding adoption perpuated by past and recent Television shows, and the media, which I hope will change soon. Use the resources I mentioned in my letter, adoption.com and birthmothers.org to write truthfully about us please.

It's also time we acknowledge there are three choices when faced with unplanned pregnancy, not just two - abort or be a single parent. 

If Steve Jobs adoptive parents hadn't first adopted him and then supported, loved and encouraged his individuality just think how all our lives would be different today. Embrace the third choice and allow Steve Jobs passing to signify more than just his technological advancements, but also the power of love.

Because when it all boils down to it, every human needs to feel loved. Even those who are unwanted, unplanned, or inconvenient.

Give life, give love a chance.... Adoption is a choice too. It's extremely painful, but you get through it and your child then has the opportunity to be a world changer, perhaps another Steve Jobs. You never know, right? 

And that's all she wrote. Have a great day. I was planning to cover the Driven Music Conference, but felt compelled to share this with you first after my experience this morning.

Today's the day though!:) Stay tuned. 

God continues to stretch and teach me through this experience with my mom

By Joy A. Kennelly

If you're not on my Facebook page and have only been reading this blog, then you might not know my mom's pains were deadly serious and she almost died last week. Fortunately, they caught the puncture in her heart and the subsequent fluid filling her lungs the 2nd trip to emergency performing emergency open heart surgery to repair it that same night.

Never doubt a woman's intuition is all I have to say. I knew something drastically wrong was happening because I've never seen her have such severe pain and inability to breath like that before. I kept pressing for her to go see her doctor and despite my father's thoughts that she was exaggerating, by the time the last episode happened even he couldn't deny it.

Although it was a hard phone call to receive when he called to tell me she'd been re-admitted, it was also comforting because I could hear in his voice how sorry he felt for dismissing her earlier pains. He's still very stoic and unemotional which is what I've grown up with.

Last night however, I just needed to talk to someone and let down my guard and cry I felt so overwhelmed. Despite feeling like it could be the wrong thing to do, after church last night I drove straight to her hospital room to share my true feelings with her.

I've been so strong and not let her see me cry, but last night needed her to know how I really felt. She's always been my confidante, my best friend, my spiritual adviser. While I sat next to her hospital bed while she lay on her side, we held hands and I just dumped. I told her everything I felt about this entire experience and she was just like my old mom before her heart procedure.

She comforted me with words of wisdom, love and understanding despite her own fears and pain as only she knows how to do. She told me maybe God is trying to strip away everything I normally go to when I'm stressed out and bring me to Him only.

She told me to put my trust in God because that's the only place I'll find peace. I had felt so good earlier praying for her and her room-mate to encourage them, and now, here she was encouraging me.

Her nurse was very encouraging too and told me she will arrange to let me speak to case manager to advise me on where I can find support at the hospital. I realize rather than continue to blog, or seek support only through my own resources, I must reach out and have personal contact with others who are going through what I'm going through.

After a bit, my Mom and I prayed together and then I left to allow the nurses to give her a blood transfusion. I was so encouraged this morning when I called to check in on her to hear her sound like her old self and ready to get out of the hospital.

Before she used to tell the nurses, I'm never leaving which scared me. She wasn't feeling very strong before, but now that she's had this blood transfusion she is on the real road to recovery. I had to arrange with the nurse to prevent any more guests coming in to visit because although mom loves seeing people, she doesn't know how to tell them she's getting tired and over-extends herself.

Although Mom has never understood why I love to have massages, she has really enjoyed the back massages I've given her. I am going to see if we can have someone professional come in to help soothe her pain when she gets out of the hospital too.

I have faith again that my Mom is on the road to restored health and am so grateful to all my friends and others who have been praying for us. I know God answers prayer. I just needed a boost and today's answer to prayer has really helped.

If I've been short tempered, I apologize. I've been under a tremendous amount of stress and don't handle it well, although I'm trying to get better at it.

When I told my Dad I was looking into support groups at the hospital his response was "Why? You don't need it. You're not dealing with Alzheimer patient. Now those people really need support." That's why I don't share much with him what's going on with me. My pain is never valid, nor my feelings. After awhile you realize that's just him and he'll never change.

He's yet to break down, nor admit his fear, but maybe he does it with the many men's groups he's involved in. I don't know. I hope so, but I kinda doubt it. He's the type who likes to pretend nothing's wrong and he never needs any help until people offer it and then he's grateful.

Men and women are so different sometimes, don't you agree?:) I'm just glad today's a new day, a new week and a new beginning. I'm going to go have a massage to relieve more stress and then am heading back over to the hospital.

Thanks again for your prayers. Means a lot and are definitely felt.

This year's Bucket List and resolution reflections

By Joy A. Kennelly

Reposting my bucket list from last year because I need the reminder and it's fun to look back to see what I've done and still want to do. Enjoy! 

What is yours?

Let's see, in no particular order, here's my spur of the moment, off the top of my head "bucket list" (from last year) -

1. visit Tahiti
2. see healing of family relationships - (starting.)
3. finish my PR certificate at UCLA Extension (may give up on this one, but we'll see. Not that important to me now.)
4. fall madly and deeply in love with the man I'm to marry and spend the rest of my life with. (Hmmm.:))
5. get my hormones balanced out once and for all - (Hmmm.)
6. lose 15 or 20 more pounds (lost 12 so far!) and keep it off (eating better and joined a gym!)
7. travel the world to exotic places I've never been like Thailand, Fiji, Bangkok, Australia, New Zealand (still want to do this. Better get cracking!)
8. go back to Africa and visit everywhere we lived and traveled to when I was young (love Africa and can't wait to do this.)
9. write my book on my open adoption experience and have it turned into a movie (maybe this is the year? Must join a writing group to organize my current book proposal!)
10. have a syndicated column writing like I do for my blog on whatever I feel like (need to pursue this seriously.)
11. make a difference in my community that changes its course of history forever (well, I guess you could say I've done this indirectly by helping my guys get into office and blocking the decision by the last city council to legalize alcohol on the beach.)
12. be a good role model to my nieces and son and children who are like family to me (trying.)
13. paint more (man, haven't done this at all and need to!)
14. love more (feel like I have done this and can always do more.)
15. share more (getting better at this too.)
16. volunteer more (need to do this more.)
17. trust more (learning...)
18. laugh more (always!)
19. bitch less (okay...!)
20. Enjoy life to the fullest in whatever I'm doing, with whoever I'm doing it with (Done and done!)
21. See The Oprah Show and The Ellen Show live to see great guests and receive great gifts (A girl can dream can't she?!)
22. See loved ones I've been praying for come to know Jesus as their personal Lord and savior (keeping this on the list.)
23.  Be a better friend in a deeper way to people in my life I care about (Believe I've done this, but will have to ask them.)
24. Have my life count for something bigger than myself (still trying to determine exactly what that is, but enjoying the process.)
25. balance my life better (now that I've closed my business, it seems to be happening naturally.)

Trying to decide if there's anything new for this year... Oh yes, here's some new ones...

26. Become more financially savvy is always good. 

27. Find my new career passion. 

28. See my sister and her family in CO

29. Resolve issues with the adoptive family once and for all.

30. Attend the Pebble Beach Food & Wine Festival and others I enjoyed last year (with or without a Chef this time.)

31. Get more involved with national politics on issues I care deeply about.

32. Create a group of like-minded women who will be supportive and encouraging to pursue our goals together.

33. Get more involved in business-oriented groups (online and offline - WITI, Women in Gaming, Art Lewin's groups, etc)

34. Check out doing voice-overs again.:)

35. Start writing articles for publications I enjoy reading myself. This time for reals.

36. Save up to buy a higher quality camera and take a photography class to better learn how to adjust the lighting etc.

37. Make quality time for friends and family (even when I get busy again.)

38. Start sewing again.

39. Wear more red, blue, pink and colors I look good in rather than black all the time.:) 

40. Write more frequently. Just because.

41. Go to my new gym at a minimum of two times a week. (Buy new gym clothes to make me want to go!)

42. Learn to cook and have more dinner gatherings to showcase new recipes.

43. Find a political campaign I can work or volunteer on for CA's upcoming elections. (Preferably paid.)

44. Create photo albums rather than just keep everything online and share/gift with friends and family.

45. Become a more Godly woman. Find a Bible Study that will challenge me spiritually and stick to it. 

46. Find a nice place to live that is great for entertaining and comfy.

47. Pitch spas and write about my experiences.

48. Take a photoshop class.

49.  Treat my Mom and Dad to nice things more.

50. Enjoy the process of life and let it happen as it may. Enjoy more "Come What May" days.:)

Sad news, but happier times soon. Mark 5/21 on your calendars!

By Joy A. Kennelly

For those of you who are interested in the latest news regarding all the cool projects and people I'm working with on a freelance basis, check out my professional blog: www.thejoywriter.typepad.com/thejoywriterpr

I haven't written such a good long one in a long time so please feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you think ok?:)

Today has been kind of gloomy day and as a result I have been a little down. Doesn't help that earlier I was reading the book, The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade (Hardcover) which brought up emotions because I could relate to so many of these women's stories despite my adoption being open and  a totally different experience.

I think loss is loss not matter how you slice it. Sometimes it just hits a little harder than others.

Speaking of which, just learned that someone I enjoyed parrying with on our local This is Hermosa forum, Gary Mallette, died on May 7, 2009 which is very sad news.

Here's a link to his obituary - Gary M. Mallette.

If you knew him, please consider clicking through to the www.lafuneral.com link and leaving a condolence message for his family. I'm sure they'd appreciate it. A memorial service is planned later this summer.

Now just because generally I'm a happy person, here's an article to ponder: Happiness Is ... Being Old, Male and Republican

How do you like them apples LV? I guess one out of three aint bad. lol

Moving right along. Here's a link with news on who and what to vote for on Tuesday, May 19th special election (Vote for Teresa Hernandez!) and I quote from the www.socalgop.com site:

The Southern California Republican Coalition is taking the lead in the grassroots opposition to Proposition 1A.

The Governor may want to increase your taxes....  The California legislature's Democrats may want to increase your taxes....  The California Republican Party and its Chairman may not be willing to take a position....  The Chairman of the Republican Party of Los Angeles County may not be willing to take a position....

But make no mistake grassroots Republicans know a HUGE TAX INCREASE when they see one -- and so does the Southern California Republican Coalition.  The SCRC emphatically OPPOSES Proposition 1A.  It is a tax increase disguised as a spending cap that has not teeth.  The public employee unions may love it, but every tax payer in this state knows better.  The SCRC is leading an advertising campaign against 1A - Please click to donate today online.

"Prop 1A is a huge tax increase disguised as a shame, weak spending cap. The voters are not as ill-informed as legislative and party leaders may wish them to be.  The tax payers of California are not buying their lies.  The Democrats lied, and the Economy Died - and we refuse to go along to get along!" says Southern California Republican Coalition Chairman, James Crean.

"We oppose raising taxes for so many reasons.  We are in a serious economic downturn and increased taxes means there is less money to spend to spur the economy which is needed to lead to real job growth.

"The legislature just increased our taxes by $42 Billion dollars and now they want to add another $16B in tax increases.  That will do only one thing - cause everyone who pays taxes to look at moving out of California, especially those that run businesses in order to lower their product costs in order to stay competitive when prices are dropping across the country," says Crean.

There were no real cuts made in the legislature's prior budget, nearly all cuts were shame cuts in job positions with no one in the job or they were reductions in the year to year growth without any real decrease.  The Democrat legislature does not have any backbone for real cuts and the more taxes we give them, the more ways they will find to grow government and continue to pay off the public employee unions, such as the California Prison Guards union, the California Teachers Association union, and the Service Employees International Union.

In a time when real citizen's 401K and retirement savings accounts values are dropping, the unions are bankrupting the state with enormous retirement benefits that often lead to union employees earning more in retirement than when they were employed by the state of California.  Yet the unions are making no concessions, preferring to raise everyone else's taxes to pay their addiction to tax payer's money.

"The only informed vote on Proposition 1A is NO," says SCRC Chairman Crean, "and we are taking a lead position with grassroots voters to inform voters to vote NO on 1A along with NO on the other propositions.  I hope folks will go to www.SoCalGOP.com and make even a small contribution to save us from more tax increases."

CLICK HERE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE SCRC NO ON 1A CAMPAIGN

If you want to hear a great speaker, consider putting this on your list of things to do for Thursday, May 21:

Beach Cities Republican Club Next Meeting

Club President: Peter Kesterson

Next Regular Meeting: Thursday May 21st, 6PM Dinner (no host), 7PM Speaker

Speaker: Ron Prentice, CEO, California Family Council

Topic: Ron Prentice is the CEO of California Family Council, formally associated with Focus on the Family and also working alongside Family Research Council.  California Family Council (CFC) was formed in 2003 with Ron as the founding director.  With offices in Southern California and Sacramento, CFC’s mission is to protect and promote Judeo-Christian principles in California’s culture.  They do so by communicating the analysis of current legislation, creating pastor and grassroots coalitions, and educating the general population on the issues of the day.  Ron also serves as the Chairman of the ProtectMarriage.com – Yes on 8 Coalition, working with dozens of national, state, and local groups to bring about a victory for traditional marriage in California.

Location: Sizzler Torrance, 2880 Sepulveda Bl. (Between Crenshaw & Hawthorne).  NOTE: we now have the full meeting room due to the large monthly turnouts.  No more standing room only!

All are welcome - Members and non-members alike! This event is Free

Click Here for Membership Information

And for those of you interested in making positive changes in your life, don't forget to sign up for the Standup Leadership seminar entitled Leading Change at www.leaderyou.com which will feature Coach Lori Ketkar and distinguished Naval officers, CAPT Luke and First Brigade Commander, Juliane, at The Shore Restaurant and Lounge from 5:30pm - 8:30pm.

Here's a link to a recent teleseminar so you have a taste of what to expect from this amazing evening: http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WKfRv16Q

Lastly, for those who want to learn more about our upcoming TLC Empowerment Group which starts June 3, 2009 at TLC Pharmacy, join Business and Life Coach Sherry Marshall, TLC Pharmacists' Annabell and Mindy, me and Perfect Body from 4pm - 6pm at Luna G located at 323 Pier Ave in Hermosa Beach, CA that same Thursday night, May 21.

Check out Luna G's latest designer clothing for men and women and unique gifts, taste GoChi Juice and TAIslim, meet Perfect Body trainers and the rest of us and have fun mixing and mingling.

Just think? Two great events on the same night! Hermosa Beach is the place to be Thursday night!

Back to your regularly scheduled Sunday.

I've been enjoying mine since I rode my neighbor's bike to the Healthy Living Festival in Manhattan Beach at the Metlox Plaza and blogging. 

Time to go home and get ready to go out for drinks at that new Redondo Beach restaurant named Maison Riz.

That's my kind of place if you're taking notes. :) Gotta run!

Forgiveness was the theme of today - Seven Pounds, church, friends...

By Joy A. Kennelly

Today was such a nice day spent with friends I haven't seen in a long time and those I see on a weekly basis which was so pleasant. In the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season it's easy to get caught up in all the parties, shopping, eating, playing, lights, and forget the true meaning of Christmas - Christ's birth and spending quality time with family and friends.

I was trying to make my 9am service and was so late I decided to stay for the 11am instead. It was a good decision because then I wasn't rushed during the break and was able to spend time with friends. I popped by another friend's home to deliver a Christmas card and surprisingly enough they were home!

That was fun too because I don't get to see them as often as I used to which made me happy. Then popped back to church for the service and it was a continuation of the forgiveness theme entitled, "Forgetting."

I really liked this sermon because Pastor Jimmy spoke and really explained what Jesus thinks about our sin once we ask for forgiveness using King David as an example. Now you may be wondering how King David applies to the Christmas story, but read on and you'll see.

Now you've probably heard the story of David and Bathsheba right? Well, if you haven't, it goes like this - at least this is my interpretation - correct me if I'm wrong. King David saw Bathsheba bathing and decided he wanted her. He called her to his room, lay with her and she became pregnant.

Now David felt guilty and thought, let's cover this up. So he called for Uriah to come home from the war thinking Uriah would lay with Bathsheba and would never know the difference. However, Uriah was an honorable man and chose not to do so out of respect for his men who were still fighting.

David then decided to have him killed and when he went back to battle had him stay at the front while everyone retreated. The enemy killed Uriah and David's secret was kept. Now what I found fascinating about the rest of the story is that the baby that was born from this illicit affair ended up dying.

What I never knew is that the next child that they conceived together was Solomon, one of the wisest men in the Old Testament, and Jesus came from that lineage. Isn't that amazing? Well, it is to me. What I always find fascinating is that even when we mess up God always can use our lives for something positive if we let Him. Here's the verse (I'm moving it up from the sermon, but it fits here:)

Matthew 1:6:

   ⁶Jesse was the father of David the king. David was the father of Solomon by Bathsheba who had been the wife of Uriah.

Here's the sermon notes now that you know the back story.:)

Forgetting

Matthew 1:21-22:
²¹She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. ²²All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:

2 Corinthians 7:10:

    ¹⁰For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

What Pastor Jimmy said about these verses is that Jesus came to save us from our sins and we need to let go of the shame and guilt. I think that's hard to do, don't you? Letting go that is. That's why Pastor Jimmy shared this with us.

HOW TO MOVE FORWARD

1. Accept what cannot be changed.

2 Samuel 12:22-23:
²²He said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, 'Who knows whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?' ²³But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."

I never knew this child was his illegitimate son and when it was explained it made total sense. I kind of chuckled inside when I heard number 1 because that's part of the 12-step prayer - "God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, (the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.)"

What I also liked about this sermon was the forward thinking. At a certain point after what has happened you need to just say, that was stupid, or that hurt, or whatever, and then make a decision to move forward rather than continue to wallow in it. You become so much freer when you can accept God's forgiveness of whatever is holding you back and release it.

One of the things we may not do is forgive ourselves too. I realized that was the case with certain life situations I've been in and now that I'm aware of it I plan to work on it more.

I went to see Seven Pounds this afternoon too and man, what a prime example of the need to forgive yourself. I won't spoil the film for you, but Will Smith is definitely a man with forgiveness issues!

I kind of had a sneaking suspicion that was what it was about, but it played out very differently than I expected which I always like. Unlike Gran Torino which I think I totally know everything about now that I've seen their preview, I liked that you don't really know where Seven Pounds is going until near the end.

I was determined not to cry, but have to admit when Rosario Dawson is crying I just had to join in with her. She is really good in this film and I could relate to her character in certain respects. The thing that kept echoing through my mind was the film critic's review from CNN last night which is why I didn't fully allow myself to feel the film until the very end, but I think it is very interesting, if not a little far-fetched.

Now where was I about forgiveness? Oh yeah, accept what's happened and stop beating yourself up ok?

One way to do that is:

2. Give it up to God.

2 Samuel 12:20:
²⁰Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped.

I liked hearing that David accepted what had had happened to his child and chose to move forward trusting God. I remember when a former friend stole all my belongings after I had entrusted them to her I couldn't stop sobbing all day long over the betrayal and loss.

I also couldn't stop singing a song through my tears I had learned at my church which is so weird, but I had nowhere to turn at that moment except God and trusted that there was a reason for my having to experience that. That was probably one of the most surreal days of my life.

For many years after I would reach for something only to realize she had it and I would never see it again. I'm not materialistic, yet certain things held such memories for me and it was like losing part of my past. I've since forgiven her and moved on from that experience.

I don't know why I remembered that now, but thought I'd share because trust me, I've been right there with you in wondering if you'd ever get over a situation or loss or betrayal, but I always do. I hope you will too.

What I loved hearing Jimmy say about this next verse is that generally it's when times are the darkest that we see God isn't it?

Isaiah 6:1:

    ¹In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple.

Lastly, as an encouragement to whatever you're going through right now, remember to:

3. Focus on what is left, not lost.

2 Samuel 12:24:

   ²⁴Then David comforted his wife, Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her, and she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. And the LORD loved him.

Isaiah 43:18-19:

      ¹⁸"Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past.  ¹⁹"Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert. 

Matthew 1:21-22:

   ²¹"She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins." ²²Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

When we blow it, our lives aren't over. God is a forgiving, caring God. Let Him care for you like He has so often to me. Like today.

I was totally planning to go Downtown to help, but my car was making a really weird noise and I thought better of it. I ended up going to meet up with my friend Mobolaji to see his new African Cowboy clothing line in person since I've been meaning to see him forever and it just hasn't worked out till now.

He has a really beautiful girlfriend and the shirts are one-of-a-kind. I love this statement about his line taken from his Linked In site: "African Cowboy is dedicated to creating a new cross-cultural dialogue about Africa that moves beyond conversations about AIDS, warfare, famine, and animals to seeing Africa as a cutting-edge contributor on the global stage - not only in the arena of culture and fashion, but also conscious business and commerce."

Now is that positive or what? I've always loved African fabric because it really is beautiful and so unique. However, I only have seen it in traditional African clothing which isn't really street ready, but now with Mo's clothing line, you can be fashionable and African centric in a subtle, sophisticated, hip, fun way. I love it! He is a really great guy and I encourage you to support his new clothing line - great Christmas gifts!

I had time and decided to hit the movie before my friend's Christmas gathering which was a nice way to slow down too. This movie is really measured and takes time for the story to be revealed. 2.5 hours long I believe!

The Christmas gathering was fun and it was nice to meet everyone's spouses and kids. I was worried I'd feel uncomfortable being one of the few singles there, but it was very nice. I have some really great people in my life this year. I'm very happy and grateful.

Watch out 2009. This is going to be a great year, I can sense it already. Okay, that's all for now. I need to upload some pix from all the parties and fun I've been having, but need my beauty sleep.:) My heater keeps going off at the oddest times which is waking me up.

Just something else to add to the list to have checked right? LOL Have a good one! Sleep well and have a great Christmas week - can you believe this year is almost over? I sure can't!

See ya!

My response to being called a bigot in case you're curious.

By Joy A. Kennelly

Bigot is such a loaded, negative word and that's why I responded so deeply to it (when I read my friend calling me such). Words have the power to heal as well as hurt. This one hurts massively.

Here's the dictionary explanation of a bigot:

–noun
a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.

I don't think this word applies to me at all if we take it for what it means. I am not "utterly intolerant" of someone's creed, belief or opinion. I'm just not. I respect other people's opinions and welcome intelligent dialog. Doesn't mean I will agree, or change my opinion, but at least I am open to hearing it.

Homosexuality isn't a creed, belief or opinion if we take it as you explain as something people are born into. If you want to call me that, then you're contradicting yourself. There's probably another word that would fit better, but I'm not going to be the one to provide it.

Ironically enough, I've actually extensively researched homosexuality because years ago in college I was in love with a bi-sexual man and was trying to figure him out.

According to the Kinsey Sex Study (if I remember correctly) people are born straight. However, along the way they begin to lean one way or the other.

Environment, social pressure, active recruitment (verified by other gay friends so it is true) and other issues sometimes (not always, but sometimes) push people more in one sexual direction than another. I believe, and others who study this as well, believe that is why more children raised in homosexual families are gay as adults than those raised in straight families.

I have also had lengthy conversations with many dear gay friends about this issue because I sincerely have tried to understand where they're coming from. They have shared honestly and openly that there is tremendous pressure to remain in the gay community by other gays and that is one reason they stay in.

Others have told me they don't want the responsibility of a straight relationship and appreciate the sex without strings attached because men operate so differently than women. Trust me, I've had gay friends since high school and being a journalist, am very inquisitive about things I don't know about. I also love and accept them unconditionally which is why they've been so forthcoming.

Ironically enough, one of my closest friends from high school who I bumped into years later was the proud President of the Gay and Lesbian club at UCLA when he attended there. At my high school reunion, I was really surprised at how many of the guys I had attended MCHS with were gay.

I'm not coming at this whole gay issue without knowledge or personal relationships. I'm just not. I'm not a bigot. I'm not filled with hate. That's not who I am. I am probably the most accepting Christian person when it comes to gays that you'll find.

I can see where you might be surprised when I use the word allow (gays in my life to be who they are and vice versa). That was a wrong word choice. Accept might be better and help explain my position better.

I love and accept (my gay friends). (They) love and accept me.

I had to smile when (my friend) referred to animal sacrifice in the Bible because actually we believe that Jesus Christ became the ultimate sacrifice for our sins and we don't have to practice animal sacrifice any more as a result. We can just confess our sins to Jesus and be free from the burden of sin by turning our lives over to him.

I know. Christians are weird. I am one. I accept this label and have lived with it all my life. I guess to a certain degree I totally understand what gays experience in discrimination because I too have lived with it, however perhaps in a lesser degree. I totally know what it's like to be outside the social norm of society and to feel like you don't fit in.

Believe me, I do.

I also believe that teaching someone something from a young age does influence their belief systems. That's why you don't see Christian beliefs being taught in public schools - it doesn't fit and it would offend too many people. That's how we feel about teaching about homosexual marriage.

It's been said that a child becomes who they will be the rest of their life by the age of 4. I believe those first four years are extremely impressionable as a result.

As a Christian, I don't want homosexuality taught in the public school system. I just don't. I believe that is up to the parent to make the decision. Not the government. Not the school system. And definitely not homosexuals.

I hope this helps explain my perspective a little better, although, trust me I'm not holding my breath. I'm really ready to "live and let live" and allow people vote their conscience come November 4.

I agree with you on one point. It's time to let "God decide this one". And with this, I bow out of any further discussions on this topic. Thank you for reading and for allowing me the freedom of expression I know and love about America.

God bless America and God bless you.

Thoughts about the last couple of days.

By Joy A. Kennelly

Nothing like finding out your new pastor has found your blog and been reading it to get to know you better. Oh dear. That's one way to get right with the Lord real quick! I've needed the accountability though because I was on the slippery slope to destruction fast.

When you feel like no one cares about you or what you do, then it's easy to go crazy and act out. I get that. I just don't want to be that person any more. Time to get back on the right track and live the life God has called me to, not what my flesh is aching for.

All in due time right? I'm excited about the new opportunities that lie ahead now. I also realize I need to change some of my attitudes to achieve some of those new goals too. I will. That's what I do. When someone (or God) reveals something to me I need to change on a constructive basis, and I agree, then I change.

If not, then I don't.

Maybe it's time to give my family the time off from my expectations and just let them do what they are going to do without my guilt and anger too. I think that's wise - detach with love. I think we'll all enjoy the holidays a little easier that way. So, no, not coming to Thanksgiving or Christmas ok?

Tell Mom and Dad Grace. Enjoy yourselves!

My old pastor is probably relieved that I'm gone too! LOL Maybe. Not sure. I may never know. It's sad to say good-bye, but I really crave Christian relationships right now with singles my own age and life stage which I haven't found in the two years I attended. I need the accountability too. I think I'll find it at this new church. We'll see.

I really like the teaching and the music which is always a big plus too. So! That's my news for the day. Hope you're having a great Sunday! I am. Promise pix later on tonight.

Off to a birthday party now.

C ya!

My long, up and down, fun, sometimes sad, interesting day

By Joy A. Kennelly

Finally have to laugh at something Bill Maher said on his show just now. He apparently is showcasing countries where he suggests people should move to should McCain become President. Now that is stupid, but what made me laugh is when he said, go to India to visit your old job. So true!

Then he mocked Ghandi a little further into the segment and fortunately people agreed it was in poor taste and didn't laugh. Now he's mocking John McCain's war hero treatment comparing it to Tina Turner. I don't know about you, but that's poor taste.

But what do we expect? He's Bill Maher. Crass, sarcastic, full of himself, the biggest head on a body I've ever seen in person (even bigger than Dick Clark!), and blasphemous.

May he rot in hell.

Oops! Did I just say that?

Oh, ha ha. That's comedy.

Or is it? You tell me. It works for him and his show.

Why not at him?

I'm waiting for Entourage and was just curious about his show having never watched it before. Now that I have, I don't have to ever again. Is it always so one-sided? And they say Fox Channel is one-sided! Are comedians only liberal? Are things only funny when it's bashing things that you're against?

Just curious.

I love it. The Republican guest is countering Bill's determination that there needs to be more negative campaigning saying that's what caused the Democrats to lose in the past. Maybe he'll listen.

One can only hope.

Sometimes I feel like Hollywood is so high school where bullies are allowed free rein because those in power are so afraid of losing their jobs to counter something they personally disagree with they go with the flow even though they'd rather not.

Maybe that's why I like Entourage so much. Tells it like it is. For the most part. Gotta watch.

That was a good show. Nice way to end my day. Chris Rock is on now and is too funny. VERY crass, but too funny. Said Desperate Housewives should be renamed Ungrateful Bitches. Too funny.

Hit a non-profit organization's art event earlier today, but just couldn't get into the art exercise designed to relax all the participants and left early in tears from the last one when we were supposed to paint a place we felt safe.

Guess I don't feel safe anywhere right now. Hopefully that will change soon though. I think my safety is being out on the town. HA!

Probably won't be back to that organization actually. Too many memories I don't feel like remembering any more.

Time to move on. I need to ask the other non-profit who always invites me to their annual picnic to stop inviting me too. I'm over remembering that experience too.

Mooooving on. Moooooving on.

What was funny driving there was the van full of young boys who kept trying to get my attention at the stop light. Cougar power. Hellooooo.

Made me a little uncomfortable when I realized they looked like they were 14. Reminded me of the hilarious young boys in Sex Drive which I just saw last night. If you can get past the crassness, it's actually really funny and has a good ending considering it's crassness.

Totally predictable, but sometimes predictable is good. Felt good to just laugh. I think I have a very sick sense of humor for a Christian. Sorry. Can't help it.

That's where I first heard Fall Out Boy's song, I Don't Care. Still lovin' it. Click on the link for the video. When it comes on in your car scream along to it and you'll experience what it's like in my car when I hear it. I. Don't. CARE!

Totally the way I'm feeling. Never quite understood why people like rock music like AC/DC and today for some reason, I love it. There's something primal about screaming along with the music that releases tension I guess. Highway to Hell - especially when you start thinking that's where you're driving.

Laughing is helping though. I love Chris Rock because he totally just tells it like it is. Especially about sex. HILARIOUS! Did I say that? He is not funny at all. I don't know anything about what he's telling.

Or do I?

I enjoyed watching Fashion Designer Joy Han's Voom Fashion Show earlier tonight Downtown. I loved the title "Conservatively Liberal", the girls picketing for Joy Han for President, and the election pins that were passed out. I also liked the fashion - bright colors, lots of designs related to the 60's and 70's.

Once I upload all the pix I'll share them with you. I have some from the UCLA wine & cheese tasting too.

I visited the Santa Monica Arts Studio Open House after the fashion show. I took some pix of my new potential artist client's work and met her in person for the first time. Love her work.

Also saw a few people I know. Some I don't want to know any more, but that's par for the course as I roll. Oh well.

Mooooving on. Moooving on.

Now I'm going to mooooveeee on to bed. Want to watch Joe the Plumber on Huckabee's show. Go Joe!

Oh, and because I can't leave you without at least one Obama thing, here's a video I received tonight that I found very interesting. It's a letter written to the editor by a Cuban American who lived under Fidel Castro.

Interesting comparison. Take it or leave it.

I'm tired. Maybe I'll think differently when I wake up tomorrow.

Interesting, Huckabee has two people on who registered to vote 100 times each with ACORN. People who claim ACORN is innocent are crazy!

Now I'm going to bed. Enough already.

I DON'T CARE!

It's not easy being me - LOL

By Joy A. Kennelly

It's always fun to see who finds and reads this blog. Just last night someone popped by and told me they lived in Sri Lanka and had found me. Welcome! They found me searching for Sri Lanka Cougars - I guess it's everywhere,eh? LOL

This morning I had searches from Japan, Singapore and somewhere else that I forget now. I've seen people from Iran, England, Australia, Philippines, and all over the world come through here. I like to think that maybe my humble opinion on what's going on in America is heard and helps foreigners see us in a different light than they might just watching our mainstream media.

Last night was really fun, but a little crazy.

I'm not going to write about it just yet because after waking up at 5:30am this morning, I've had this epiphany which I want to share right now seeing as I haven't read it anywhere else recently. Not to say it hasn't been said already, but this is my personal opinion and my blog...bear with me. Or stop reading now. Your choice. This is America. I love saying that! :)

A liberal friend, who I didn't realize was still reading my blog, contacted me last night and said I'd inspired her. She then shared numerous political websites she had created about her favorite candidate and my favorite too (although in my candidate's case, the site isn't designed to be supportive, but derisive which is fine. I will defend her right to her opinion to the day I die. This is AMERICA! God bless it!)

However that said, let me share with you why I don't think Obama has a shot in hell right now of winning and it has nothing to do with his experience, his qualifications, the fact that he's Democrat, or anything else.

It's just the fact he's black.

And I'm not saying that in a racist way, just stating another fact about America unfortunately.

I know, big shock. What does the color of his skin have to do with anything? It has EVERYTHING to do with it. How many black newscasters, anchors, heads of media, mainstream magazines, members of congress, any politicians for that matter, CEO's, or other powerful people do you see on a consistent basis who are black?

Yes, there's our very own local handsome black Channel 5 newscaster, Emmet Watson. But why do you think he got choked up announcing Obama's nomination? Because it was/is huge news.

Why do you think Halle Berry's win was such big news? You can count on one hand how many African-American actors have won Academy Awards over the years I bet. Not sure that's true, but bet it is.

When I see Girlfriends get nominated for an Emmy, then maybe I'll believe racism isn't an issue, but right now? It is. Think about it. You know I'm right. I'm just one of the few willing to put it in writing.

I've dated a lot of black men over the years (I love the color of their skin against mine - I'm so white and the contrast is striking. One man said it's erotic - I'll give him that. I love it too. Sexy as anything.) As a result, I understand their world a little better than other white people who haven't.

My son who I placed in an open adoption is half Nigerian and half me making him look like Obama. I need to state here that I'm very proud and happy that Obama was nominated regardless of whether I'll vote for him or not. I've said it before, I'll say it again.

What a wonderful thing for my son to see someone who looks like him on TV running for such a high office even if he doesn't understand the historic ramifications at such an early age. I believe in race equality and will defend the rights of all races till the day I die too.

Just because I believe that though doesn't mean the rest of America agrees with me. The thing that brought it home real clearly last night was watching the news accounts of the bail-out talks where you saw McCain very visibly sitting in the far right corner of the screen.

I had no idea where Obama was sitting until one news station finally showed a shot of him sitting on the left of the table actually closer to the President. All the previous cameramen had cut him out even though if they panned back they could have very easily included him if they'd wanted to.

When I saw that and heard Obama discuss what went on behind the closed doors, heard that Obama's staff had never been to the White House and were excited to be there, it only confirmed to me that despite Obama's best efforts, this presidency won't be judged on merit, but on political connections and the old (white) boy's club's terms.

America, or should I say Washington D.C., just isn't ready for a black man to be telling them what to do. They're just not. No matter how much I wish racism didn't exist, it's a fact of life that will bear heavily on this campaign no matter what side of the political fence you sit on.

What I also think people don't realize is that even though they think Palin is outspoken with her Christian beliefs, there are actually a lot of people who hold similar ones. I almost feel like when my friends mock Palin and her faith, they're mocking me too.

I happen to believe in casting out demons. I believe witchcraft is alive and well. I believe there is evil in the world. I believe there is good and that God will protect His followers too. I don't believe in speaking in tongues, but there are many Christians who do.

I believe life begins at conception. I believe adoption is the third unspoken choice of the pro-choice crowd where only abortion and single parenting is touted.

Speaking of abortion, did you know that the woman who is at the basis of the Roe V. Wade choice denounced this law years later? She has an autobiography I read which was just fascinating. I really do need to find it again because you NEVER hear that do you?

Only that abortion is what every woman wants. That's BS.

Maybe the media should interview that woman. Maybe the other side of abortion should be heard for once publicly- it's devastating to so many women. That's a fact you can't deny no matter where you stand on this issue. But you never hear of that. Only it's a woman's right to kill your unborn baby.

I'm sorry ladies who've had abortions. Get used to the word. It's killing. I feel very strongly about that. Especially third term and especially when the baby is partial birth. So sickening. Really hits me in the gut when I even think about it. I bet it hits those who have had abortions so hard emotionally and angrily because deep in their souls they know I'm right.

Right? Right.

Oh dear, I'm not being very politically correct now am I? Oh well. Never said I was.

Oh dear, where is my Christian compassion? I am sorry too. I'm so sorry you've been lead to believe that abortion is the only way to "fix" your unwanted pregnancy. I'm sorry that you ARE dealing with the pain and remorse of your decision. I'm deeply, deeply sorry about this. That's why I get so angry when it's made to seem like EVERYONE believes that it's the only choice out there. It's not.

That's why I chose adoption even though living through nine months of a pregnancy I didn't want or expect was my "choice". I can't begin to tell you the days and nights I wondered why I was doing what I was doing. How much I craved my non-pregnant life. How much I resented the birthfather and the situation I was in. How embarrassed and ashamed I was to be living in a shelter and on welfare.

However, I'm glad I did it. I have my little boy who will hopefully grow up to be a good man to show for it. I held to my convictions and despite the personal, emotional, financial cost I would do it all again if I had to. Only this time I would probably single parent. Although that's not an easy choice either.

I just would never, ever, ever, ever choose abortion. I just wouldn't. I believe in taking responsiblity for my actions even when it's tough and difficult and not what I want to do. That's just who I am. That's where my faith in God makes me different too. There is a right and wrong in my world. What about you?

Like a large percentage of Christian Americans, I also believe God is in control and will ultimately decide what is right in this election and in all life. I believe that when someone admits and repents of their sin and accepts the Lord into their life they are a new person and are "born-again." I believe that we are a forgiven people and God is love.

Now what do you think of me? LOL To be honest, I really don't care what you think because I've lived with your perceptions in the media and the rest of my life for so long I'm used to it.

I think that's part of the reason I like black men so much too. They know what it's like to live on the outside of convention simply by virtue of the color of their skin. My difference is on the inside, but it still affects my life on a daily basis.

That's why I used to love seeing the Hasadic Jews in my old neighborhood. It was really inspiring to see a people living out their personal convictions so publicly. Really cool actually. I guess that's why I write.

To publicly live out my personal convictions too.

When my son was only a few months old I flew to New Mexico to participate in his baby dedication. In other circles it could be called a christening. Similar concept, only in Christian circles what you're doing is dedicating your child to God and His service.

Whoa, that's so weird! I know that's what you're thinking. I kind of feel like I'm outing all the darkly held secrets of the Christian subculture, but hey, you've been reading this long you must find it interesting or you would have stopped long ago, right? LOL

We, the adoptive parents and I, all stood on the stage with Eli, my son, as the pastor gave his blessing and prayed over him with us. It was a very moving service and something I was so happy to be included in. That's one of the reasons I chose the couple I did. They were/are staunch born-again Christians and uphold the same beliefs that I have.

I think part of me knew back then that I might not raise my son so strictly in the Christian faith as a single mom and decided to let a married couple be the responsible ones in this situation. Plus, for other personal reasons I won't go into here out of respect for my family's wishes, but if you've been reading for awhile you'll remember, I thought it was better overall.

It also just wasn't the right time for me to parent. Bottom line.

I look at my friends and my sister with all their kids and wonder how they do it. Children are a HUGE responsibility and HUGELY change your life. Now, maybe now, I'd be ready for the life change, but back then, no way. As a result, I'm content with my decision.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, Obama mama.

So, even though I wish America was more progressive in their race relations, we're just not. If grown men can still call people the N word and have others agree with them as if it's ok, Obama isn't winning. And if the news can still only focus on the white guy running for office when there's a black man who's running for president sitting in the same room non-existent, it's just not happening.

What I found interesting in listening to Obama after the bail-out discussion was his observation of the whole process as an outsider, rather than as an insider which is what Washington lives and dies for. If someone pursuing the highest office isn't part of that inner circle and treated as such, I just don't see his winning happening.

I'm looking at this strictly from a marketing perspective because when you're selling something you need to have people who will buy what you're selling. It's obvious to me, with my personal knowledge of racism as it exists today, people in Washington aren't buying it.

As far as Middle America goes, people are buying Palin. Whether you like it or not, there are lots and lots of Christians who hold similar beliefs to hers. We're just never heard in mainstream media because religion isn't of interest or something most media types uphold themselves and as a result, don't understand or report without making it fanatical rather than a part of a normal person's life.

Oh, here's something else to consider. One of my black rapper friends says that Sunday is the most racially segrated day of the week. Think about it. How many multi-cultural churches do you see? Not that many. Mainly they're hugely white, hugely black, hugely Asian, but never the twain shall mix.

Or if they do, there's a sprinkle here and a sprinkle there unless the leadership is multi-cultural and as a result the church is more multi-racial too.

We just aren't a racially integrated society. My personal opinion is that Obama isn't going to be the one to cross that divide right now. And it's not just because of him. It's because America really isn't ready for a black President. No matter who he/she is. Bottom line. Mark my words.

It will be very interesting to see what happens in the years to come as the white population decreases and the minorities continue to increase though. Maybe then.

But now? No.

And now, since my pumpkin ice blended is finished I'll leave you until later when I report on the three fun events I hit last night which left me exhausted and emotionally spent. LOL

Have a good one. Feel free to comment. It makes my day.:)

Aren't the Olympics just amazing? GO USA! GO HERMOSA BEACH GOLD MEDALISTS!

By Joy A. Kennelly

I'm watching the Olympics Closing Night Ceremonies and it's just breathtakingly beautiful. I'm loving the flashbacks on all the great Olympic moments for the athletes too. Aren't you?

I'm so proud to be an American and so proud of all the amazing Olympic athletes who have competed with honor, valor and strength.

Really makes you re-evaluate your personal life and see if you're living up to your own standard of living doesn't it? It's so cool Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh are from here in Hermosa Beach. We're all so proud of them!

They even changed the sign on Pier & PCH in their honor and normally that sign is way out-of-date for weeks at a time! Just goes to show you how proud our city is of our athletes! Hard to believe these same Olympic volleyball athletes including Phil Dalhausser/Todd Rogers will soon be playing in our local Manhattan Beach AVP's. Simply amazing.

Sorry, I'm not normally starstruck, but there's just something about the Olympics that makes me so proud and teary eyed over the athletes. It's so cool to see the world literally come together for these days as one. Makes me believe in peace on earth, doesn't it you?

Maybe that's why today's message from Pastor Jim Mackinga of Bay Cities Community Church on Integrity struck such a chord today. The thing that really hit home was when he said, "People won't buy what we profess in public, if we don't live it out in private." OY! Made me re-evaluate certain things I've been doing and saying for sure!

Since I always promise to share my notes and it's mindless to copy, I'm going to do it while I watch the closing night ceremonies. Just know, Jim's messages are filled with anecdotes, information, stats, humor and loving care that you really only experience if you hear him.

What was interesting to feel today since I was so late is the remorse I had for missing any of the service. It was then I realized this part of my week is much more important than staying out late on Saturday with new people I don't know or don't necessarily care about at the grand opening of Zen Lounge.

I'd rather enjoy time with good friends I care about and who care about me which is how I feel about people at my church. I also feel that way about certain people I hung out with last night at The Shore. Aren't they a great group of ladies?

Then, there's always my singing minstrel neighbor who always welcomes all of us home with a song and a smile. Recognize Mr. Blue Eyes?

Okay, enough of that - here's the message! Go Kenya! I lived there in '77 and have a soft spot for that country. One of my dreams has always been to go back. One day...

May God bless the reading of His Word. Enjoy!

Integrity in What We Say & Do

"James - Practical Christian Living"

How to Live with Integrity

James 5:12:

   ¹²And since you know that he cares, let your language show it. Don't add words like "I swear to God" to your own words. Don't show your impatience by concocting oaths to hurry up God. Just say yes or no. Just say what is true. That way, your language can't be used against you.

1. Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep.

James 5:12:

   ¹² But most of all, my brothers and sisters, never take an oath, by heaven or earth or anything else.

Matthew 5:33-36:

Empty Promises

  ^{33 -37}"And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.

Matthew 12:33:

   ³³"If you grow a healthy tree, you'll pick healthy fruit. If you grow a diseased tree, you'll pick worm-eaten fruit. The fruit tells you about the tree.

Matthew 12:34-35:

   ^{34 -37}"You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation."

2. Fill Your Voice, Heart and Life with Integrity

James 5:12b

let your yes be [a simple] yes, and your no be [a simple] no

Ephesians 4:25:

   ²⁵Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another.

Matthew 5:37:

 

³⁷"But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil. 

James 1:26:

   ²⁶If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. (Man, the Bible doesn't mince words does it?)

3. Know the Price if You're Wrong Here

James 5:12

so that you may not sin and fall under condemnation.

Exodus 20:7:
⁷You shall not use or repeat the name of the Lord your God in vain [that is, lightly or frivolously, in false affirmations or profanely]; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

John 8:43-44:
⁴³Why do you misunderstand what I say? It is because you are unable to hear what I am saying. [You cannot bear to listen to My message; your ears are shut to My teaching.]

    ⁴⁴You are of your father, the devil, and it is your will to practice the lusts and gratify the desires [which are characteristic] of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a falsehood, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar [himself] and the father of lies and of all that is false.

Galatians 6:7-8:
⁷Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked ^[a]by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside.) [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and ^[b]that only is what he will reap.

    ⁸For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Heavy words, but just know God meant them in love and so do I.

Oh, and if you want to see pix from the weekend - check out my Elite Singles by The Shore site here: http://singles.meetup.com/2461/

Okay, that's all for now. I'm tired and have another busy week ahead.

Happy Sunday everyone!

What a difference time off and wise counsel makes... other stuff

By Joy A. Kennelly

I took some time off from everyone and everything yesterday in attempt to heal emotionally and physically which was exactly what I needed to do. Now I'm back to my old self a little wiser, a little happier and a little better. Time heals all wounds I guess.

I think I was a lot more receptive to today's sermon as a result too. Jim Mackinga over at Bay Cities Community Church is really a gifted teacher. Every single time I think that's my last Sunday there because I don't have many single friends from there to do stuff with, he gives a sermon that makes me realize I would really miss his teaching if I left. Friends I can find outside church I guess. I do love my married ones there though.

Today I actually had some cute guys (too young, but still) sitting next to me so it's all good. Guess God is throwing this old cougar a bone after all. God bless the young hotties is all I got to say. There was a really funny skit to elaborate the point that the world thinks having a man to love is going to solve all your problems when it's really only God.

The scenario was two women discussing a mutual friend who they think will be all better if she only had someone to love in her life. They think of all the guys they can set her up with which was very funny. Then one suggests EHarmony. We all laughed when the other answered, "I, I mean a "good friend" tried EHarmony with not so good results."

I've tried EHarmony too and never met anyone I'd be interested in. Sorry, I'm a little shallow, but I think physical chemistry has to be there too. I like good looking guys. What can I say? Always have, always will. Part of the reason I moved back to the beach. Those are my kind of guys.

I think if I really were a Cougar I could have such fun with all the young un's down here. Unfortunately, not into flings any more. I want a real relationship with a future. So, although it was hard to do, I cut loose the young un who has been very sweet to me lately.

If someone is drunk almost every time you speak to them, or is looking to get wasted all the time too, that doesn't bode well long term. When will young guys realize it's a big turn off to cougars? Just kidding. I really am not a Cougar, I just tease about it because I think it's funny.

My girlfriend Shana keeps telling me that getting drunk is what 30 year old guys do and just to go with the flow. Plus, she tells me she's a little jealous I'm catching the attention of a young 'un since she's married and can't do anything about it when they hit on her. She cracks me up! I might change my mind because it is nice to have male friends. We'll see.

Guess it's ok to have some fun though, right? Still trying to figure all this out since young un's aren't my usual demo. Flattering though. Hello hottie babies... Just kidding.

What was cool about today's sermon is that it really spoke to real life issues. Here's the notes in case you're interested:

How To Get What You Want

"James- Practical Christian Living"

How Normal Life Works

1. We experience turmoil then pain.

2. We try to numb the pain through pleasure.

3. We end up facing conflict and anger.

4. We watch hope for satisfaction disappear. (Jim says then we become less fun to be with. We become mad, sad and ultimately alone since no one wants to be around us. Without a solution we lose hope. Been there, done that. OY!)

Options When Facing Normal Life (How people deal with stuff...)

1. Try fixing things through other people.

(This one really spoke to me because I think I've been a little hard on my friends. My one girlfriend is married with two little kids, a demanding career, and busy social life. I just need to accept that fact and realize she can't always be the best friend I want her to be when I want her to be. Doesn't make it any easier, but does give me more compassion on this friend.

Also, the other one is really going through stuff too. It's not easy losing your job and worrying about how you'll pay your mortgage and take care of your son as a single divorced parent. I have faith we will work things out, but it will just take some time because we need to work on caring communication vs. brutal honesty. Looks like I'm getting a taste of my own medicine, but if I can change there's hope for others too.

It really helped to hear some other people's perspectives and shares yesterday and realize I'm not alone with my stuff. Very healing too. (God bless 12 step programs.)

James 4:1, 2a

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight.

Then Jim shared that no one person can fix us or meet all our needs, only God. Over time a relationship can't handle the pressure and it falls apart. So true. Jim is very funny and he said, "In the words of the great theologian Mick Jagger..." referring to the infamous song "Can't Get No Satisfaction."

The 2nd way people approach normal life is...

2. Try manipulating God to do what we want.

James 4:2b - 3 You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Jim says we are a pleasure seeking people, but pleasure isn't the ultimate answer for us. Bummer. If only it was... (That's me, not him speaking and I'm being facetious!:) Only God can fill that hole in us.

3. Look for things in this world to satisfy. (Like drugs, alcohol, sex, food, material things, the list goes on and on...Isn't that a nice list? Just kidding...)

Philippians 4:9 and 19 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (This is our guarantee if we pursue a relationship with God. Peace.)
¹⁹And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (I've found that in my life for sure.)

Jim said the Beatles song, All you need is love should have been, all you need is God.

Here are some of the normal needs we all possess that Jim swears by:

Normal Needs We All Possess

1. To be secure in life.

2. To be loved in life.

3. To be valued in life.

4. To be significant in life.

When these needs are met through God, our life is worth living. Then we can bear fruit for God. So, that's the moral of this message everyone. Hope you enjoyed the crib notes.

If you're searching for a place to worship, then pop over and visit <"http://www.baycitieschurch.com">Bay Cities Community Church sometime. I personally welcome all young hotties. JUST KIDDING! Seriously though, they have a cool 20 something group called Zoe. Call Tyler for more details: 310 877-9753.

You oldies can come too. Not to that group, but to services ok? LOL Can you see I'm really feeling better? Now to go hit the local Greek festival and get me some baklava. Then if I still feel good to hit the country music over at Polliwog Park. I need more fun.

Although this past Thursday was fun hanging out with my friend, her 18 year old son and all his young buds at a recent fun pop-up store opening - not together, just at the same event. I'm not that big of a cougar!

I told her to invite them because they'd been disappointed over something and needed some fun. They loved being there - their first "Hollywood" event. I felt a little guilty because free booze was flowing and of course, once we left they took advantage. Oh well. Can't control everything right? See, I'm learning.

I did take a funny picture of my Desperate Housewife friend with hottie Actor Jesse Metcalf, the gardener dude from Desperate Housewives and other films.  When is Desperate Housewives coming back on? Got to fill my guilty pleasure. She's probably going to kill me for sharing this with you, but I think it's funny. He can be my gardener any time. I need some bushes trimmed, or can find some! LOL Isn't he a cutie? Someone give that guy a job. We need to see him on screen again. Marc, you reading this? Rides a motorcycle too girls. Watch out! Cougars on the prowl! LOL

Ah, the pleasures of summer. Isn't it a beautiful day? Have a good one!

South Bay Beach Volleyball Olympic news, funny Kathy Griffin clips and ironic MB sign...

By Joy A. Kennelly

Now, if you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know I love nothing better than a guy who plays volleyball because then they get this awesome V-shaped bod. Well, you'll be happy to hear that one of South Bay's very own hot vball bods is actually now an Olympic athlete set to compete in Beijing!

AVP player, Sean Rosenthal, is doing us all proud and ready for his Chinese close-up this August. Here's a more serious article to give you more details on him as a player. Enjoy!

Also, I've had more time to ponder little Chloe's comment and Billvie's comment too regarding my new dearest friend, Kathy Griffin. Just teasing, I've never met her, but since she does a reality show don't we all know everything about her?

Well, I did some digging and found some very funny clips of Kathy Griffin & Anderson Cooper for you to watch if you need to laugh for whatever reason. Also, if you don't know who she is, then watch and learn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmYWaCF5YFA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdiwDezY6iM&feature=related

I was trying to figure out why I like her so much and then it hit me. We both like making fun of situations and people that others normally won't go there. For example, driving down the street today in Manhattan Beach there was a banner hanging that said something about the upcoming Jewish Family Festival featuring the Amazing African Acrobats.

Now to me, that was absolutely hilarious. To someone else who doesn't share my twisted sense of humor, they're not going to see the humor in that multi-cultural, all embracing banner posted in the middle of whitesville USA. However, me and my Jewish friend Shana - we think that's hilarious.

I know, it's the small things in life. Or another racially funny thing that happened on the 4th of July that I really can't share here because it's too true, but extremely funny. Everyone would laugh, but just in case there's another Chloe out there who doesn't get my sense of humor...

Just trying to be a good girl.

I've been thinking why have I been so bitchy lately when I'm writing? Then I realized it's because I'm in pain from this stupid car accident that wasn't my fault and I'm taking it out on everyone else as a result. Having fun at Kathy Griffin's expense made me feel better for some odd reason. Go figure.

However, I do need to clarify that I do find Kathy attractive and was totally teasing about the Dame Edna look-a-like question. She, for one, is a very attractive red head. Conan O'Brien? Not so attractive. Once again, my sick twisted sense of humor. Are you laughing yet? OY!

Tonight I had to drive to Hollywood to pick something up (grimacing all the way) and as I was stopped at Kings Road and Sunset this blinding light hit me from a nearby video billboard. I couldn't figure out what was happening and glanced up only to see Kathy Griffin's commercial for her Bravo show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List beaming down at me.

Thinking, okay, that's a sign (literally and figuratively), right then I almost get hit by a fire truck that is barreling down Sunset, horns wailing and careening wildly up Kings Road and almost into me because the corner was too tight! Fortunately, I dodged that bullet and got the hell out of dodge asap. Whew! That was a close one.

This is why if/when I buy a different car, it is definitely not going to be another sports car. I'm done with small cars. I'm a tall woman. People see me when I walk around or enter a room, especially if I wear heels. I'm not used to not being seen which happens all the time in this car despite it being red. Annoying! And dangerous. Enough!

So, if I happen to be a little more snarky than usual, please bear with me. You would be too if your mornings often comprised of laying on hot packs in order to get your butt, back and neck functioning again. Or having a chiropractor making adjustments for an accident that wasn't your fault. I can't say that enough. NOT MY FAULT and damn if I'm not livid.

Keep praying. When you do, I don't feel the pain as much. Really, seriously. I feel better and calmer about this whole situation for some weird reason. That's why I'm asking again. Miles, if you're reading this, pray too dammit. Just teasing ya. Pray if you want to, pray if you want to. (sung to the tune of It's my party...)

That's all for now. I hope this makes sense. It's late. I'm tired, but just felt I needed to make amends to the beautiful, talented, and absolutely hilarious (potty-mouth, blasphemous) Kathy Griffin.

Oh yeah, almost forgot to tell you. So then I'm driving a little further down Sunset and there's another billboard (non-video this time) with Kathy Griffin staring down at me with mascara running down her face as she's crawling down the red carpet for her Emmy or Grammy - I'm forgetting which.

TOO FUNNY! I can't get away from this woman. Maybe I'm meant to work with her as a publicist because I can be just as snarky as her and get her sense of humor. You go girl. We all love ya babe, just enough with the religious jokes ok? At least of Christian faith. Make fun of kabbahal (however it's spelled)- Madonna's giving you enough material isn't she? Go for it!

Now I'm crossing a line. I'm tired and I'm in pain. Is that a good enough excuse? Okay, no, you're right.

No religion jokes at all ok Kathy? You really don't want God finding you not funny...

Good night everybody.

Last night was wonderful, but I want to share this short film with you first

By Joy A. Kennelly

Last night we must have had 200 people attend the third South Bay Professional Connection event announcing the Grand Opening of CA Associates and Verch Insurance Services. It was a really special evening. I'll write more about it later because I must run and my camera is jammed preventing me from uploading pix. Just know, it was fantastic!

Right now I want to share this amazing short film with you called The History of a Sign that my good friend Dianne just emailed me. She sends me the best stuff.

This film reminded me why I ran my short film festival for so many years. It's touching, it's beautiful, it's hopeful, and it's an amazing testimony to the power of one person making a difference in the life of someone less fortunate. Film can change the world in the right hands.

Made me realize I was way ahead of my time producing a shorts film festival if Cannes is now doing it online. In any case, so glad to see a short film touching so many people.

Here's the blurb from You Tube regarding it:

"Fourth annual Short Film Online Competition - Cannes 2008. The NFB, in association with the Cannes Short Film Corner and partner YouTube, is proud to announce that the winner of the NFB Online Competition Cannes 2008 is Alonso Alvarez Barreda for his short film Historia de un Letrero (The Story of a Sign) produced in Mexico/U.S.A.

Director : Alonso Alvarez Barreda
Running Time : 04:50
Year : 2007
Country : Mexico/ U.S.A
Category : Short film

With a stroke of the pen, a stranger transforms the afternoon for another man in this emotionally stirring short film by Alonso Alvarez.

Alonso Alvarez Barreda was born in Mexico City in 1984. He met Alejandro Monteverde, who was still in film school, and since then Alejandro became his friend and mentor. Alonso wrote, produced and directed his first short film, called El Algodonero. His second short film, Historia de un Letrero, was named best short film in the Festival Internacional de Cine en Corto and also won the Hispanoamerican jury award in the Short Shorts Film Festival in Mexico City. It has also been an official selection at the San Diego Latino Film Festival, Cine Festival in San Antonio, Texas, Short Shorts Film Festival Monterrey and Morelos, and in the Short Film Corner in Cannes.

Currently, Historia de un Letrero is part of the regular programming on National TV in Mexico. Alonso lives in Los Angeles."

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. I cried at the ending - but it was happy tears.

So moving... Please click the link to see what I'm talking about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9eUBVpL0ZU

Life is so short - please tell people you love them today

By Joy A. Kennelly

I haven't had much time to write because of everything that is going on, plus, although I had a great time at the Blues Traveler concert at Hollywood Park this past Friday, I'm so allergic to cigarette smoke I've been sick ever since because it's so prolific being an outdoor venue and all.

I'm beginning to wonder if I don't have bronchitis because I am so weak and tired all the time. Fortunately, I'm going to the doctors soon. I can't take the constant coughing, and sleeping any more! GoChi Juice is good, but this is kicking my butt! Enough already.

That said, just received very sad news this morning which is why I'm writing. Do you all remember my friend Esther's show that I wrote about and her winning an award for her short  webseries she created with her friend Jeana called Me, Myself and Us TV?

Well, she just wrote me this morning to say that her friend Jeana has died. No specifics so I don't know anything other than a young woman in her thirties is dead. How tragic. How wrong. My heart goes out to Esther because they were best friends. Jeana was so happy go lucky and full of life when I met her. It's really shocking to hear this news.

Really makes you put life in perspective doesn't it? If any of you are able to contribute to the needs on the following list, please help. I'm sure Esther would greatly appreciate your support in this way.

Here is Esther's List (in her own words.)  Peace and Blessings.

 

1. A lovely beautiful space, possibly with flowers already surrounding the area in Los Angeles to host a memorial for Jeana. A yard, a house, room to hold at least 100 people.   May 15, 16, or 17th.

 

2.  Some kind of template of a memorial program.  You know how I am, I could pull something together yet maybe someone has something on hand to help me move faster.

 

3.  Any miles to donate, I've got a Continental account and a Virgin Airline account.  This is not only for myself but to also help at least one person in Jeana's family in Indiana have a way to get to Los Angeles and help with what has been left behind.

 

4. Leads to people who may want to timeshare my West Hollywood furnished studio apartment for 6 months at a time. Starting June 1st. Someone who is not necessarily a permanent resident of Los Angeles, yet travels for work in Los Angeles on a regular basis and would find comfort to have a simple space to rest, cook and take care of their business.  I am extremely flexible in this area and can work something out. Maybe someone is in town only 2 weeks out of the month consistently. 

 

5.  Leads to people who may possibly be looking for a 2002 jeep liberty - 70,000 miles - stick shift. The car is in Los Angeles.  I am selling at $7,500.   These same people would be willing to look at the jeep starting May 2 yet the car is not available until May 19.  In addition, the $7,500 pays off the car loan, so they would need to come with me to my bank to pay and receive the title to the car on May 15, 16 or 19th.

 

All of the above have been stressing me out at this time.  A lot of financials had been stressing Jeana out yet she never asked for the help that she needed.  I will never not ask for help when I need it and today I need it.   

I am waiting for the miracle.

Love you.

Thank you,

Esther

esther (dot) friedman (at) sbcglobal (dot) net

If you, or someone you know, is at all able to help Esther as she prepares this memorial service and move to NY, please contact her directly.

Thank you.

Thoughts on St. Patrick, seeing as it is his day...

I get these on a regular basis and especially liked this one in light of today being St. Patrick's Day and me being Irish 'n all. FYI, I didn't write this and take no credit. You may sign up yourself to receive these on your own also.

Enjoy!

Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional
Welcome to Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional, a free devotional from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website. We honor your privacy and time. If this newsletter no longer meets your needs, please use the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this newsletter and you will be removed immediately.

March 17, 2008

Spreading the Word...Then and Now

By Karen Ehman

"He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Mark 16:15 (NIV)

Devotion:

As a family, we enjoy learning about great missionaries of the faith -- whether from the pages of the New Testament and the travels of Paul, or from current day servants who try to spread the wonderful, life-saving news of Jesus in remote places. Did you know that this month there is another missionary we can glean from as we hear of his longing to reach others for Christ? I am talking about St. Patrick.

What do we really know of St. Patrick, in who's honor patrons don green? To look around at the way modern day folk celebrate St. Patrick's day, you'd think it all had to do with shamrocks, leprechauns, rainbows and the ever famous pot of gold at the end of them. Well, that and the traditional "wearing of the green" to prevent any pinching that might occur on March 17^th each year. But there is actually some wonderful truth that we can celebrate at this holiday and can pass along to the children in our lives.

For as far as history can tell, the story goes like this: At about the age of 16, Patrick, a Scottish young man born into wealth sometime in the late fourth century, most likely around 385, was violently captured by Irish raiders and forced into a life of slavery. Patrick later escaped and was reunited with his family, but in a dream, felt called by God back to Ireland to spread Christianity to the people of that isle. So this godly young man set about to make this dream come true. He prayed for God's strength and then studied scripture to ready himself. Then He was prepared to return to the land of his captivity. He preached the Gospel and built churches throughout the country until his death on March 17, 461. For the modern day Irish, St. Patrick's Day is considered a time for spiritual renewal as they fondly remember the slave-turned-evangelist who spread Christianity to the Emerald Isle. For our family today, we feel we can use him as an example of what a young person, sold out for God can do in their generation.

Just think about this man. How many of us, after being captured and held as a slave and forced to work in a foreign land, when finally set free, would actually return to the very place where we were enslaved? It must have taken a great deal of maturity and immense faith in God's protection to go back to that island. And Patrick must have known that spiritual bondage is far, far worse than physical slavery.

In some ways, don't we see modern day examples of just such a story? The drug addict who finds freedom from a life of addiction through faith in Christ, sensing a call to return to their old neighborhood and preach the freedom and everlasting life Jesus offers. The women who made a bad choice resulting in her and her unborn child both being the victims of abortion. Now she longs to counsel young girls to choose life for themselves and for their precious baby. All of these people serve as wonderful examples of someone who found freedom and longed to lead others there as well.

So at this time of year, when you spy a leprechaun or see a shamrock, whisper a prayer that God continues to raise up men and women who have been set free to return to the land of their captivity and lead others to the same liberating, life-giving freedom.

Dear Lord, may I long to impart words of freedom to all those who will listen, helping to lead them from their land of captivity. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Homespun Memories from the Heart by Karen Ehman

A Life that Says Welcome by Karen Ehman

Do You Know Him?

Visit Karen's blog

 

Here's another good love devotional for your reading pleasure

Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional
Welcome to Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional, a free devotional from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website. We honor your privacy and time. If this newsletter no longer meets your needs, please use the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this newsletter and you will be removed immediately.      

March 5, 2008

Love Out Loud

By Karen Ehman

 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."

James 1:22 (NIV) 

 Devotion:

One of my favorite passages from the Bible is the "Love" chapter from 1 Corinthians 13. I remember being challenged to memorize it for an English class in my public high school in the 1980's. Even secular scholars have no doubt that this piece of literature is a beautiful work, flowing in its rhythm and captivating in its cadence. It is actually relatively easy to memorize. However, living out the words is a whole different story!

Let's pick up the passage in verses 4-8....

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

How would you describe your love for others? Are you a patient soul or do you drum your fingers and tap your toes while you stew and sigh not-so-patiently? Is it hard to bring you to a point of anger or does flying off the handle come much too naturally? Do you keep score with those who have wronged you, ready to dredge up the past and become "historical" to make your point? Do you boast? Got a case of the green envies? Ever been rude to someone? How will we ever learn to love the way this passage urges us to?

Here's an idea to help to flesh this out in real life. Make a copy of the love chapter on your computer. However, wherever the word love is used (or its pronoun 'it') leave a blank. Then try over the next week or so to be able to write your name in the blank when you have a chance to exhibit this quality in real life. Were you patient at the doctor's office today and, instead of grumbling while sitting in the waiting room, you quietly thanked God for the extra time and then used it to pray for others?

Write your name on the "________ is patient" line. Did you and another family member get into a heated discussion and you were tempted to bring up a wrong from the past but, with great restraint, held your tongue? Bravo! Write your name on the "________ keeps no record of wrongs" line. Were you kind to the grumpy cashier instead of being rude right back? Get out that pen and write away!

Be assured that if you take this challenge, God will give you lots of opportunities to practice displaying these wonderful characteristics of love. And you can count on others noticing the change in you as you seek to love out loud.

Dear Lord, help me to accurately reflect the love you show to us by my actions to others. When I want to live in the flesh, help me to walk in the spirit. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

One of the bravest men I've heard in a long time...

By Joy A. Kennelly

A good friend just sent me this video and it's so beautiful, I really hope you'll take the time to watch it. I don't know how to imbed the video, but please click here to review.

What an amazing testimony to the world and to life.

Check it out and tell me what you think...

Let Go and Let God...

By Joy A. Kennelly

There's a saying, When the student is ready, the teacher arrives, or words to that affect. In my case, it's teachers plural. Here's something a very lovely friend just sent me:

"Keeping it simple" can mean, at times, attending to the essentials. Do we really need what we think we need? How do we get what we really need?:

Once when my wife, Bonnie, and I were keeping our grandson before he was two, he'd gone for a walk with Grandma, played outside, and then cavorted on our deck for a while, entertaining us with his nonstop, inquisitive, full-force investigations of every plant, leaf, and twig on the deck.

After a while, Bonnie offered him a juice cup — and he grabbed it and drank heartily nonstop for several minutes. If he had been aware of his mighty thirst, he was unable to ask for what he needed, but he gladly took it when offered.

Spiritually, we often do something similar. We become so involved in the minutia of daily living that we don't realize how parched our soul really is — until the Spirit grabs hold of us in some surprising way and offers the cleansing, cooling, renewing draft of the holy water of God's presence. Nothing refreshes more....

When you come into God's presence through prayer and meditation, wine and milk will flow freely: the wine of the Spirit, the milk of God's mother-like love.
—Peter Wallace
Out of the Quiet:
Responding to God's Whispered Invitations
Copyright © 2004 Peter Marsden Wallace
Used with permission

Wasn't that nice? Yesterday's sermon was the same way. The new series my Bay Cities Pastor Jim is preaching on theme is Growing Up As God Wants. The title is "James - Practical Christian Living"

I don't have time to write all my sermon notes, but will later. Just know it was perfect for what I've been going through lately and really spoke to my heart. Here's one point though that really stuck out for me:

3. They (Meaning Christians who are mature or growing) love others with sincerity.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3:
¹If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

What the world needs now, is love sweet love. So true. I know I do!:)

The other lesson I learned this weekend was something I heard in my Al Anon meeting. For some reason, that's the one place other than at home privately, in my car, or at church silently, where I can cry very easily. It's like it's a safe place to be real and not judged. There are a lot of kind, wonderful people there.

There is just such a sweet spirit in these rooms; it's like humility, honesty, hope and humor all rolled up into one cloud of love hovering over people in the room. Some people have more recovery than others and help those of us who are struggling to see there is hope for change in the way we're living. That's why I keep coming back. I need the hope.

After I had shared what's been going on with me lately, some of the other women shared their experience, strength and hope about learning to Let Go and Let God. It was very freeing to hear how then God moved in these people's lives in unexpected, but perfect ways just right for them.

It was just what I needed to hear. I've been trying to do certain things (personal, political, and professional) by myself for so long, I just need to release them to God's care and trust Him for the results.

I think what I'm learning there is changing me slowly, but surely. It helps too, that I finally have a sponsor I can share with who understands what I'm going through and has been there herself. God gave me a great mentor in this respect. I'm very grateful.

I'm also grateful that yesterday when I went to sing we had such a great time worshiping together as a group, rather than individuals striving for attention or control. It's like all my relationships are changing. Or, maybe it's just me and that is positively affecting all my relationships, I don't know.

All I know is I haven't had that much fun or love of singing like all of us did in a long, long, long, long time. We were on fire with harmonies and I had such fun just singing out, it was pure delight. I broke down on stage crying at the words of one of the songs because it talks about how much God loves us and cares for us. I needed to hear that more than I needed to sing it I guess!

I had warned the worship leader, Sandy, before I started that I have a tendency to cry when I sing because God's spirit speaks to me through music. She said it was ok and I'm glad she said that. I would rather be real and share emotion, than not. It's just too hard to live any other way.

What I loved about something my pastor Jim shared is that tears are the safety valve of our heart when pressures get to be too strong. I must have an extra dose of pressure or something lately because I spent a lot of Sunday crying (and no, it wasn't pms related:) You can only be so strong for so long. I have to admit, I feel so much better today!

I'm not a crier generally. Never have been, but lately I am much more susceptible. I think it's just God softening my heart or something. Or else it's me trusting myself more to allow true emotions to come out that I've stuffed down for so long. I don't know.

I do know I'm a lot stronger than a lot of people I know because of my faith in God, but that doesn't make me any less human. It's been really tough lately, but I have faith that God is going to complete the work He has started for His glory, not mine. All I have to do now is Let Go and Let God.

Amen and amen.

Have a good one everyone!

Sending you lots of love.

Here's some Encouragement for Today encouragement

This is one of my favorite online devotionals. If you like it too, you can sign up at Crosswalk.

Enjoy the read!

Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional
Welcome to Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional, a free devotional from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website. We honor your privacy and time.

 

A Runaway Ramp

By Marybeth Whalen

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." I Corinthians 9:24 (NIV)

 
Devotion:

My friend Melanie and I were coming back from speaking at a retreat in the mountains when I noticed several runaway truck ramps along the highway as we wound our way down the steep, imposing mountain roads. These ramps were installed so that large trucks have a place to go if their brakes fail, or if they are simply going too fast and could possibly lose control. I took note of the different styles of ramps--some dirt, some concrete--all designed so the trucks would have an "out" in times of danger. All put in place ahead of time, before they were ever needed.

I thought about how we could all stand to install runaway ramps in our lives. Some of us need to have ramps for when we get going too fast, committing to too many things and not saying "no" when we should. Some of us need ramps to slow us down when we our natural brakes aren't working well as we travel down a path of temptation. And some of us need to have a ramp in place in our relationships; erecting boundaries that keep us from venturing down dangerous roads we have traveled with people before.

For each of us, these ramps will look different and serve different purposes. Like the truck ramps, we need to have them in place ahead of time so that when we get going too fast--when we are threatening to fly out of control--we can quickly get off the path we're on and find refuge and rest. The ramps should provide us with a place we can sit and catch our breath. A place where we can gain a better perspective.

Do you have any runaway ramps? If so, what do they look like? Perhaps your ramp is a date with a godly friend for coffee to talk, laugh, cry or vent. Perhaps your ramp is exercise. Maybe your ramp is a weekend away to collect your thoughts, go for long walks, soak in God's Word and spend extended time praying. Perhaps your ramp is a regular appointment with a Christian counselor to process current issues or problems from your past.

I have a friend who schedules a weekly time for her runaway ramp by hiring a sitter to keep her kids for several hours while she visits a local church prayer room and spends concentrated time talking and listening to God. The point isn't what our ramp looks like--as that will be very personal--but to have a ramp erected, before we get into a desperate situation. It just might be the one thing in our lives that makes the difference between careening down the mountain or making it safely to our intended destination.

 Dear Lord, help me to know when I need to get off the road. Help me to see when I am going too fast in the wrong direction. Help me, Lord, to have people and places in my life that are safe. Most of all, help me to remember that I can always run to you. In Jesus' Name, Amen

This is so hard to do!

This one is so true. Every time I think I'm making progress in a certain area of my life, it comes back to hit me in the face. I hope this blesses you as much as it blessed me. We have to keep moving forward and striving to be better people regardless of what happens the day before!

 
A Life That Pleases God

 By Micca Monda Campbell

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit." Romans 8:5 (NKJ)

Devotion:

The Tennessee Women's prison has an unusual baptistery in their chapel. It's a coffin. For these women, being baptized in a coffin is a powerful visual of their death and burial with Christ. Thereafter, the coffin, which is a permanent fixture in the chapel, becomes a daily reminder that they are no longer slaves to sin and enemies of God. Their old way of living is dead, buried, and gone; and they are now free to live a life pleasing to God.

This is such an awesome truth in ours lives that Billy Graham says, "We should meditate on the truth that we are dead to sin and alive to righteousness, until returning to the old way of living is unthinkable."

While it is true that we are dead to our old life, staying dead is another matter. Often, our dead flesh will raise its ugly head and try to influence our thoughts and actions. If we listen long enough to its demands, we suddenly find ourselves at the graveyard fervently digging up our old flesh, so that it can perform its sinful deeds.

Christians have a responsibility to put to death their old nature through daily surrender or else they cannot live a life pleasing to God. They will begin to think only of themselves again and ways to gratify their flesh. However, those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit will live a life of righteousness free from sin. Those who follow the Holy Spirit will not think about fulfilling the desires of the flesh. Their thoughts are occupied by God's Word, His ways, and purposes.

The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:8, "Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely an admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." So, what dominates your thoughts?

If we only think of ourselves, what we want and our rights, then eventually we'll find ourselves going down the wrong path, one that leads to a stinky life. On the other hand, thinking on things that are pure and worthy brings forth life that is pleasing to God and a witness to others.

If you are in Christ, then the flesh no longer dominates you, my sister. So stop visiting the graveyard. Instead be led by the Holy Spirit by dying daily to your old way of thinking and living. Then, the Spirit of God can create in you a pure life that releases a sweet, pleasing aroma.

Dear Lord, I confess that I often visit the graveyard to free my dead flesh. Help me to keep that person in the grave by yielding solely to Your Holy Spirit so that my life will be pleasing to You, in Jesus' Name, Amen.

This is great (and men can benefit too.)

Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional
Welcome to Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional, a free devotional from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website. (This is one of my favorite online devotionals.)

January 22, 2008

Becoming a Patient Woman

By Rachel Olsen

"We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need." Colossians 1:11 (NLT) 

 Devotion:

In a heart that values instant gratification like mine does, patience seems hard to come by.

In the last several weeks I've raced through a yellow light because I didn't want to wait at a red light. I've looked up my symptoms on the internet because I didn't want to sit in a doctor's waiting room. I've paid extra for an item off the internet because I didn't want to stand in line at the store. I've also eaten dessert first, because I didn't want to wait until it was "time" for dessert. (I think anytime is a good time for dessert!) Though I can't recall a specific instance, odds are high that I lost my patience at some point and fussed at my kids.

We want stuff and we want it now. We want results and we want them now. Yet the Bible repeatedly says that patience should be a way of life for followers of Christ.

God is love and patience is part of His character. For you and I to love like God loves, patience will be required (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Loving as God loves is the ultimate goal as we walk through this life seeking to please God and become like Him.

Patience could be defined as the ability to endure graciously. We all have to deal at times with people or circumstances that try our composure -- an ungrateful child, an inattentive waitress, a slow moving line at the cash register, a rude boss, a spouse taking our hard work around the house for granted. How graciously do we behave in these circumstances?

The Bible says God will be faithful to complete the good works He began in us (Philippians 1:6). That implies there's going to be some "in the meantime" when we're all less than perfect and less than easy to love. This is where patience comes in. The apostle Paul instructs us to "walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (Eph.4:1-3).

We also have to exercise patience towards God as we wait for His full plan to unfold. At times we must wait for answers to prayers, for deliverance, for provision, or for Him to dispense justice or reveal His will. We really have no choice but to wait in these circumstances, but a woman developing patience will endure the wait graciously. It helps to remember how very patient God has to be with us on a daily basis (1 Timothy 1:16, 2 Peter 3:8-9).

Exercising patience isn't just an exercise of the human will. The kind of patience Paul is talking about is a fruit of the Spirit developed in a woman's soul in tandem with God. It's a virtue that grows from her confidence in the sovereignty of God and His ability to bring all things to completion, in His timing, in a way that benefits His children and glorifies Him.

This patience thing may take some time to develop, but I've decided to graciously endure the process. I started today by stopping, like I should, and waiting at a yellow light I'm certain I could've made it through safely. As I sat at the intersection, I thought about God and about developing patience. The light turned green a mere minute later, and I went on my way with a smile on my face, happy to be a woman who is embracing patience ... even if starting in a very small way.

Dear Lord, thank You for being so very patient with me. Help me to develop patience, and display that quality for Your glory. In Jesus' Name, Amen

Related Resources:

We apologize our shopping cart has been down during our transition to our new website and thank you for our patience! This week's links are now connected to an active resource area. If we can aid you further in the ordering process, please don't hesitate to contact us at resources@proverbs31.org.

30 Days to Taming your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues

Visit Rachel's blog: "My Life in Chapter & Verse"

God's Purpose for Every Woman: P31 Devotional Lysa TerKeurst and Rachel Olsen General Editors

Application Steps: 

Pray for patience daily.

Keep the word "patience" in the forefront of your mind today and look for opportunities to be more patient.

Reflections: 

Who in my life can benefit from me extending them more patience?

How would becoming more patient change my day, my outlook, my health, or my relationships?

Is my patience stronger than my temper? Or stronger than my longings?

Power Verses: 

Proverbs 25:15, "Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can crush strong opposition." (NLT)

Ecclesiastes 7:8, "Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride." (NLT)

Romans 15:15, "May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other -- each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other." (NLT) 

 Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.Proverbs31.org

 

New Years, My birthday, The Bucket List

By Joy A. Kennelly

For whatever reason, people keep Googling "the blond guy from TMZ" and find my blog. How long ago did I write about him and TMZ? I just think it would be hilarious if he either lives in the South Bay, or is a member of Oct 805, my biggest fans. Who knows? Who cares? I don't, but just think it would be ironic.

In any case, I actually had the most delightful birthday after all. I knew it would turn out that way - the best days always come after the worst. Plus, when there's nothing planned, then good stuff can fill in too. Like the wonderfully sweet card from one of my good friends which arrived unexpectedly.

I also joined a good girlfriend for a spontaneous celebratory birthday lunch which was great. Then dashed off to Glen Ivy Day Spa to cash in my two-for-one coupon I found recently that I'd collected over the summer during one of the AVP's. It expired 12/31 and I thought what a great way to end the year and celebrate my birthday.

Receiving an email from a very fun girlfriend who was off for the day while her husband was working prompted me to invite her to join me. By 2pm we were soaking in the generous hot tub relaxing. We pampered ourselves with the moisturizing Grotto treatment and just generally relaxed throughout the spa not leaving till almost six! Now that's my kind of day.

My other great girlfriend had heard my plight of no New Year's plans and invited me to join her at her fun married friend's New Year's open house. This couple is such an adorable contrast - she loves parties, he swears not to, but does throw margarita wrestling contests for young women which absolutely cracks me up since his wife is one of the most respected experts in her field - known world-wide for her brilliance.

To know both of them though, they're the most loving, giving, generous people who are so full of life and fun that I don't care what they do. They're my friends and his mom is great too! Even though last night wasn't anything like I had planned, it was just perfect.

My new BFF and her husband who had invited me are really wonderful to me too. They gave me the best birthday cake, presents and love. I am indebted to their generosity of spirit and heart. Thank you!!!!

Great food, great friends, great conversations, ending with fun times down at the Hermosa Beach Pier Plaza - hard to believe fun too for adults over 20 out past 9pm I know, but the swing band drew a decidely older crowd which made for a nice mix of people.

What I thought was absolutely hilarious was to see a woman who was older than me wearing the shortest micro mini standing on stage proudly french kissing her husband when it struck midnight. I'd heard this woman needs attention, but didn't realize how badly till I saw her outfit and subsequent kiss. I guess if you've still got it flaunt it right? Or is it at the beach once a bleached blond bimbo, always one? I don't know.

Oh I must stop, it's not nice to speak poorly of your elders. Sorry Sienna. Whoops. Didn't mean to blow your cover, but then again you're not hiding anything so why should I? I'm such a bitch with a capital B. Can't help myself.

It just comes naturally this time of the month, but I hope you know I mean this all in good fun. If you can't poke gentle fun at politician's wives, who can you laugh at? See, you're laughing too! I see that smile. You agree. This is what makes the beach scene so entertaining to be part of if you ask me. If it's not the young bucks, it's the old babes...

We would have hit the Mermaid bar afterwards, but the line wasn't worth standing in. We really must hit it before it's torn down - one of Hermosa Beach's historic monuments for the great drinkers of our city. Just kidding, but it is historic.

For those of you who don't live down here that whole piece of property (of which the Mermaid is but one part) is going for 33 million dollars - now does it give you an idea of the size of the property for sale and the value of Hermosa Beach beachfront? We'll see what goes in there next - could make for some interesting changes to the whole Downtown scene in its entirety. Know any cool hotels looking to expand? We'd love to have one come in.

Caught The Bucket List today and it was the perfect day to see it. Great flick and great chemistry between the two men. It was really nice to see Morgan Freeman in something other than his serious films. Also, I wonder how close to Jack's real life this story really is? How many wives has he had again?

I am very emotional (you know why) and I couldn't help but cry at parts. It's very thought-provoking, funny, enjoyable and worth catching. I really liked it. Made me want to create my own "bucket list."

Let's see, in no particular order, here's my spur of the moment, off the top of my head "bucket list" -

1. visit Tahiti
2. see healing of family relationships
3. finish my PR certificate at UCLA Extension
4. fall madly and deeply in love with the man I'm to marry and spend the rest of my life with
5. get my hormones balanced out once and for all
6. lose 15 or 20 more pounds (lost 12 so far!) and keep it off
7. travel the world to exotic places I've never been like Thailand, Fiji, Bangkok, Australia, New Zealand
8. go back to Africa and visit everywhere we lived and traveled to when I was young
9. write my book on my open adoption experience and have it turned into a movie
10. have a syndicated column writing like I do for my blog on whatever I feel like
11. make a difference in my community that changes its course of history forever
12. be a good role model to my nieces and son and children who are like family to me
13. paint more
14. love more
15. share more
16. volunteer more
17. trust more
18. laugh more
19. bitch less
20. Enjoy life to the fullest in whatever I'm doing, with whoever I'm doing it with
21. See The Oprah Show and The Ellen Show live and see great guests and receive great gifts
22. See loved ones I've been praying for come to know Jesus as their personal Lord and savior
23.  Be a better friend in a deeper way to people in my life I care about
24. Have my life count for something bigger than myself
25. balance my life better

I had such a pleasant yesterday and today that I feel ready for whatever is thrown my way in 2008. I had such peace last night even though I was single. It just felt like it was okay for that night. I just had the distinct feeling that I should cherish being alone because once I am married I'll never be alone again.

Hard to believe I'd ever get to the place that I'm actually happy being single, but I have a real contentment and settled feeling about it all. Like 2007 was supposed to clear out all the bad relationships that were holding me back for the right one in 2008. Does that make sense?

Who knows if this makes sense, but I do know I am closer to God as a result of this year and know who I am better too. Like Philippians says in the Bible chapter 4:11-13.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

I hope you have the opportunity to experience the peace of God that surpasses all understanding at some point in your life too.

God bless you! Happy New Year!

Live like you were dying and consider writing your own bucket list. May make you reconsider how you'll spend 2008.

Life's short people and we're only given so much time on earth. How will you spend it this year? Make it count.

And with that... Good night... or should I say Good morning...

Just finished the best book "Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul"

By Joy A. Kennelly

A friend lent me the book entitled Wild At Heart Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul which I just finished today.

Here's Amazon's Editorial Reviews, and I quote:

"Editorial Reviews Amazon.com
If Christian men are going to change from a pitiful, wimpy bunch of "really nice guys" to men who are made in the image of God, they must reexamine their preconceptions about who God is and recover their true "wild" hearts, writes bestselling author John Eldredge in Wild at Heart: Discovering a Life of Passion, Freedom, and Adventure. Eldredge throws down the gauntlet--men are bored; they fear risk, they refuse to pay attention to their deepest desires.

He challenges Christian men to return to authentic masculinity without resorting to a "macho man" mentality. Men often seek validation in venues such as work, or in the conquest of women, Eldredge observes. He urges men to take time out and come to grips with the "secret longings" of their hearts.

Although the book succeeds best in its slant toward a male audience, it also strives to help women understand the implications of authentic masculinity in their relationships with men. Eldredge frames the book around his outdoor experiences and appealing anecdotes about his family, sprinkling the text with touches of humor and overlying everything with heartfelt passion.

Even as he mixes eclectic ideas about masculinity from popular movies such as Braveheart with classic words from Oswald Chambers, and lyrics from the Dixie Chicks with stories from the Bible, he points to only one answer for men searching for their true wildness of heart. Writes Eldredge, "The only way to live in this adventure ... with all its danger and unpredictability and immensely high stakes ... is in an ongoing, intimate relationship with God." --Cindy Crosby    

      

Book Description
God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires--aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy."

It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free."

and here's another blurb:

"Helping men rediscover their masculine heart, this guide to understanding Christian manhood and Christian men offers a refreshing break from the chorus of voices urging men to be more responsible, reliable, dutiful… and dead.

God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, now available in trade paper, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be--dangerous, passionate, alive, and free."

Very interesting insights into what it's like to be a man. It also gave me insights into myself ironically enough. I believe this past year for me has been one of refining, defining, and shaping into someone who is authentic and real, no matter what it costs.

It hasn't been easy, nor do I feel my journey is over, but it was very comforting to realize that I'm not alone in my desire to be my true self. Men face this every day of their lives. What was so interesting to me, and what gave me more compassion for the men in my life, is that so often men feel like failures and like they're not living authentically.

They may hide it by becoming workaholics, sexaholics, and alcoholics, but when all that is stripped away and all they are is who they are, there's this wound that has never been healed. Only God can heal that part of them.

What was also interesting to read is that in other cultures there are set ways men become men - set initiation processes that allow the young boy to realize he is now a man. In our culture we don't have that. What the author, John Eldrege proposes is now their initiation is when God takes men through deep valleys of pain and suffering and they come out the other side stronger and more who they were meant to be.

I'm totally paraphrasing and probably don't have it right at all, but that is my humble interpretation. It also made me wonder if the reason we have such a huge alcoholic issue in our country today is that so many men are trying to hide their pain in something that is socially acceptable, rather than face it, deal with it and move through it? Just a thought.

That's why I always encourage people to visit Alcoholics Anonymous. It provides a loving structure with which to work through your issues one step at a time under the guidance of someone who has been there before you and come out the other side. It often provides the only loving, safe relationship some men ever experience which is healing in and of itself too. (For women too.)

What I kept trying to see in this book is that if the church has given men the idea that they need to be "good boys" where is there the mandate for them to conquer and fight for what is right? What church offers an opportunity for men to show us women what they're made of when all we're offering is Bible Study, singing, and other non-aggressive, non-masculine forms of expression?

That's why I like my church pastor because he is totally into men being men. However, I wonder how many single men's needs aren't being met because they don't have kids and families and don't want to participate in building things for them? Like that sled run.

I wonder if we had more mission trips where we built churches, or built whatever in interesting foreign locations, then we wouldn't be creating an environment where the single men of our community could feel like they were conquering something and wouldn't feel so inclined to just get drunk like so many do today in the South Bay?

What are we offering them as an alternative churches? City Council? Government? Where are the battlefields where men can be men except in the military? Why aren't there more opportunities here in the states? Why must there be killing and distant lands involved? What about something local and pertinent that draws men together to work together as one?

Not on some female-oriented fund-raiser or toy drive, but something that men can do with men and as men without drinking themselves silly? Something that's for the good of the community - not just their own selfish pleasures? Just wondering that's all. I'm not a man and don't know what that could be, but I  hope that by raising the issue, perhaps those wiser and older than me would consider it.

I'm just kind of rambling, but I really hope that there will be some new ways for men to express and exert their masculinity, or we're going to continue to raise up generations of frustrated men who over-drink, over-work, or over-sex just to fulfill their God-given desires to matter in the world.

This is an excellent book that raises very pertinent issues concerning men today. I highly recommend it for men AND women to read. Just click on the link I've provided above for the way to purchase it through Amazon.

Now to get back to living - even though my sinus infection or allergies are wiping me out again. Oy!

Jim Mackinga's last two messages to encourage your soul

By Joy A. Kennelly

My Pastor, Jim Mackinga, over at Bay Cities Community Church keeps preaching exactly what I need to hear, especially at this time of year. Since it's been such an encouragement to me, I thought I'd share the notes with you too because it is Sunday after all right?

So, without further ado, here's the notes from this Sunday and last Sunday's messages:

"Loneliness Is Real & Difficult"
"How God Wants Us to Deal With Pain"

Things that Cause Loneliness

1. When separated from those you love.

2 Timothy 1:2-4:

    ²To Timothy, my dear son:
      Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.
    ³I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. ⁴Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.

2. When disappointed by friends or family.

2 Timothy 4:15:
¹⁵You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message.

3. When commitment to Christ causes division.

Matthew 5:10-11:

    ¹⁰Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
      for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

    ¹¹"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

2 Timothy 4:14:

    ¹⁴Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done.

WHERE RELATIONAL FULFILLMENT IS FOUND

When we look back at our lives, we'll wish we would have loved more. Greatest lesson of loneliness is that we need God. The void can never be filled except by God.

1. In our relationship with God.

Genesis 1:27:

    ²⁷ So God created man in his own image,
       in the image of God he created him;
       male and female he created them.

Loneliness comes from our need for relational fulfillment. It's not hard to know God, just trust Him.

2 Corinthians 1:8:

    ⁸We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.

2. In our relationship with others.

Gen. 2:18 The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him." God designed us to enjoy fellowship with others.

Ephesians 6:2:
²"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise—

Proverbs 18:24:

    ²⁴ A man of many companions may come to ruin,
       but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

1 John 1:7:
⁷But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all^[a] sin.

3. Living life loving God and others.

Matthew 22:37-40:
³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'^{[a] 38}This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'^{[b] 40}All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

When loneliness hits, refuse to run away or hide out. When you serve others you always feel better.

STEPS TO OVERCOMING LONELINESS

1. Build a growing relationship with God.

John 14:6-7:

    ⁶Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷If you really knew me, you would know^[a] my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."

James 4:8a
^"8Come near to God and he will come near to you." A promise from God.

2. Conclude - You're forever safe with God.

Hebrews 13:5-6
⁵Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
   "Never will I leave you;
      never will I forsake you."^[a]

⁶So we say with confidence,
   "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
      What can man do to me?"^[a]

^{3. Give your life away in love and service.}

Romans 12:11:
¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

John 13:35:
³⁵By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

2 Timothy 4:17a
¹⁷But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed...

Joshua 24:15:
¹⁵ But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

God has given us the freedom to decide who we will serve - self, God, others.

That was last week's message. Here's today's along the same theme...

OVERCOMING DISCOURAGEMENT
HOW GOD WANTS US TO DEAL WITH PAIN

What causes discouragement

1. When I experience lasting frustration.
2. When I experience regular criticism.
3. When I experience unfulfilled expectations
4. When I experience personal set-backs.
5. When I experience growing stress.
6. When I experience someone's death.
7. When I experience the loss of hope.
8. When I experience being hurt by others.

GOD'S SOLUTION TO DISCOURAGEMENT

1. Put your hope in God. (When in extreme pain, say "Jesus is my Lord.")
Psalm 42:5-6a

    ⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
       Why so disturbed within me?
       Put your hope in God,
       for I will yet praise him,
       my Savior and ⁶ my God.
       My ^[a] soul is downcast within me;
       therefore I will remember you

Psalm 146:5:

    ⁵ "Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
       whose hope is in the LORD his God" - ask for help!

1 Timothy 6:17:

    ¹⁷Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

1 Timothy 5:5:
⁵The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.

HOW TO KEEP MY HOPE IN GOD

1. Never forget my privileges in Christ.

Romans 8:1:

Life Through the Spirit

    ¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,^[a]

2 Corinthians 5:17:
¹⁷Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Ephesians 2:13:
¹³But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.

Philippians 4:7:
⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19:
¹⁹And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:39:
³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2. Focus my life on what matters most.

Colossians 3:1-2

Rules for Holy Living

    ¹Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.²Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Romans 12:2:
²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Philippians 4:8:

    ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

HOW TO KEEP MY HOPE IN GOD

1. Never forget my privileges in Christ.

2. Focus my life on what matters most.

3. Stay grateful for all God has done.

Acts 13:38:

    ³⁸"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you." Scars don't go away, but God gives us the freedom to really live in spite of them.

Ephesians 1:7:
⁷In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace

Psalm 103:12:

    ¹² as far as the east is from the west,
       so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Isaiah 1:18a

    ¹⁸ "Come now, let us reason together,"
       says the LORD.
       "Though your sins are like scarlet,
       they shall be as white as snow;

Colossians 3:3:
³"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." It is finished and we are protected by God's love in our life.

Philippians 3:20:
²⁰But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,

1 Peter 1:3-4

    ³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you,

Colossians 3:4:
⁴When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

2 Peter 3:13:
¹³But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.

I hope this has encouraged you like it did me. You're all invited to join us next Saturday, December 15th at 4pm and 6pm for our adult choir and soloists performing in the Adult Christmas Musical "Celebrate the King" and a light dinner served in between both performances over at our Lomita campus.

Here's a map to our Bay Cities Community Church Lomita campus.

2043 Lomita Blvd.

Lomita CA 90717

(310) 326-1043

(Located on the NW Corner of Lomita and Eschelman.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

A.R.K. - A Random Act of Kindness - Evan Almighty

By Joy A. Kennelly

I have had the roughest week of my life. I have felt suicidal, alone, attacked, despised, loathed, and any other adjective you can think of. Ironically enough it was the result of the actions of someone who claimed to love me. If this is love, I want no part of it. Doesn't help to be pmsy on top of everything else. Damn hormones.

The worst part is that I don't understand why she chose this time of year, or now to deal with something that has bothered her since our childhood. We had such a wonderful Christmas together last year and now... When the conversation began, "You said such and such 10 years ago" I knew it wasn't good. Needless to say, it only got worse. Even with two Al-Anon meetings. I'll keep coming back though.

Now I know why people hate Christmas so much. I have never hated Christmas ever, but the last two years the pain of the loss of certain family relationships and now another one is enough to tip me over the edge. Fortunately, I have another family created by our common love for God who have stepped in to love me through this. I will forever be grateful for their kindness, prayers and support. I want to see Christmas like a child again like Jars of Clay sing.

I wasn't planning to blog about this, but tonight, have to.

Rather than go out to see a movie I decided to see what was on cable. I have never paid for a movie at home, but for some reason, chose to rent Evan Almighty because I needed and wanted to see a comedy. I saw the previews and trailers, but this movie's message was much bigger than anything I'd seen or expected.

I'm watching it half-dozing because I was up at 3am for an hour with a coughing fit, when my friend Adrienne calls to tell me they've recovered her license plates that were stolen the other day. To me that's a miracle. I've never seen the police work so quickly on anything like this before.

She's doing great. Thank you for praying for her. We've decided if they find the guy(s) who've harassed her, we're going to have to put a hit out. JUST KIDDING! Really we are. Killing is evil and wrong. No one no matter how awful they are deserves to die.

Her testimony makes me think I have some powerfully praying people on my subscriber list and at my churches. Thank you! That's what prompted me to share this story in hopes my despair and subsequent hope will encourage you right where you are now too. Also, that you will pray for me and my family now too. If you have been, thank you. God is moving in my family even though it's hard to see it just yet. But I have faith.

Anyway, Adrienne's call woke me up. I began watching the movie a little more closely then still not knowing why I chose it until it comes to the scene where the family leaves Evan Almighty aka Steve Carell (I just love him in anything he's in) because they think he's crazy and can't take it any more.

The family is all sitting at a food spot watching him being mocked on the news for deciding to build an ark when there's been a drought, when God aka Academy Award Winner, Morgan Freeman, appears to Lauren Graham aka Evan's wife when the kids are in the bathroom.

They get to talking because he's her server (I thought it was cute his nametage said Al Mighty.) He explains that when people pray for patience, God doesn't give people patience, He gives them situations to increase their patience. Then, he says, and I'm not quoting properly because I began sobbing knowing then that this was why I was watching that movie rather than something else, "When people pray that God will bring their family back together, he puts them in situations to draw them closer together."

I'm in one right now. A situation that is. What's so interesting is that I've had my Bible Study praying for reconciliation with my entire family because I've had estranged relationships with certain family members for years and years. Maybe this is how God is going to move.

I know I'm not the only one to ever experience this which is why I don't mind sharing my heart on this with you. You are not alone if you're suffering the loss of someone you love in your family and they're not dead, but might as well be to you. This is such a common occurrence I'm surprised to learn about more and more people experiencing similar situations. I'm so sorry if that's you too.

I know it's hard. You can pretend it doesn't matter and it doesn't hurt any other time of the year, but when the holidays hit, then it hits you smack in the face. The past two years it's hit me harder and harder. My birthday is December 31. Every Christmas is a reminder that another year has passed in more ways than one.

The longer I'm single, the more I realize how much I love and depend on my parents. When they're gone... who knows who will be family to me. I do have certain friends who are like family, but other than my best friend Kirsten who's known me for almost my entire life, a lot of these friendships are not as deep. This is when I hate being single the most.

That's why it hurts so much at Christmas. I have lost relationships with family including children I love and now it appears I might be losing more since I'm at odds with their mother. For reasons I don't really understand. That's what kills me. I love children. They love me too.

I love my family too and I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. Now to get certain people to realize that. Even my Dad said it's time to let the past be the past. He and I have. And we have had HUGE disagreements and yet...

I chose to go watch the children's Christmas musical at Bay Cities today to compensate for longing to be near little kids during this Christmas season. I'm so glad I did. I bumped into my friend Donna I'd met at the women's retreat this past June and the little two-year old she takes care of. Sophie was the child's name just like my littlest niece. She was this little cute blondie dressed all in pink with cutie pie written on her top appropriately enough.

After a little bit I asked her if I could hold her on my lap and she was so cute, she said, "No, but maybe next time." Got to appreciate a child's honesty. Okay Sophie, I'll wait till next time. Thank you very much. I needed to smile today.

I then went to sit in the church and watch the show while they stayed in the atrium area to allow Sophie to move around while Donna watched the show projected on the big screen. I wanted to see it live. I'm glad I did.

The whole children's show was absolutely adorable. I don't know how many kids participated, but I do know about 30 adults were involved if that helps you figure out the ratio. Some of these kids are really talented singers and gifted actors too. It was great to see. Meaghan, the children's leader, is so talented and gifted at bringing out the best in people. She's a gift to our entire church.

The older kids are pretty well-behaved and recited their lines perfectly; then you see little ones who are four and younger and they just totally crack you up. They're shouting the words at inappropriate times, raising their shirts over their heads, playing around with the shepherd's cloth or halos on their heads, or just singing out confidently as if they were born to sing to a full packed house. Or just standing there scared to death.

Makes you realize some kids are born with the gift of performing from birth and others aren't! Some got up on stage and begin bawling which was also pretty funny. Especially when they're dressed up in a cow costume to be part of the manger scene with baby Jesus, Joseph and Mary. Then there's the adult who dressed up like Angel Gabriel complete with the fake breastplate and angel wings. Too fun.

It was just like watching something out of a Christopher Guest film but with a much younger cast. I knew it would lift my spirits. Being loved by my Dad when I dropped off their Christmas presents really helped too. He's not a hugger, but he knew I really needed to be loved and actually hugged me twice which is rare and special for him. I love him so much. He truly is my hero. We've gone through so much together and we are closer than ever as a result.

Sorry, I promised I wouldn't write about my family any more, but this has been killing me slowly, yet surely. I needed to share this, or I may never blog again. I've sat down off and on all week to write a blog that will entertain and instruct you because the rest of my life is great and school is interesting, but I just couldn't bring myself to pretend that nothing personally was wrong when it was so desperately. I get writers block when that happens. I have to be honest or I'm not true to who I am as a person.

I had a great conversation with my friend Amy today too. She was so comforting despite the personal struggles she's going through with her own family. They won't know whether the cancer her dad has is benign or malignant until after Christmas. She's cute. She says they're living quite happily in denial.

She had the honor of having one of her college papers selected as one of the top three the teacher is going to keep as an example of an excellent paper. Way to go Amy! She's getting a masters in counseling/therapy - I'm a great one for her to practice on.:)

She said she appreciated all your prayers because she could really feel the peace that surpasses all understanding in this situation. I'm so glad. Not for the denial, but that they've decided to live happy. I choose to live happy now too. It helps when you have friends in your life who love you even when you're a blubbering periodic mess. At least I still have them right? Periods that is. Friends too. TMI! I know. Sorry.

There are people who have difficulty sharing personal things and then there's me. HA! Welcome to my world. I'm listening to this very cool English Christian kid I randomly picked off myspace. Check out Joe Brooks. I especially like I Find The Light in You. He's a little cutie too. Way too young, but I can admire him can't I? Cougar on the prowl! LOL:)

I'm also digging Kari Jobe. Doesn't she have the sweetest voice? Maybe I am starting to feel like I will enjoy this Christmas after all. Maybe I'll go write some Christmas cards by the fireplace at Casa Del Mar tonight.

Or not. Maybe tomorrow.

Merry Christmas everyone. God bless you as you deal with the family issues you might be facing too. You are not alone.  We all have our struggles with family too. Just don't let it get you down. God loves you so much. I had to be reminded of that myself when I was at my lowest point. No matter what we've done, or what people say we are God loves us. Isn't that comforting?

But if it gets real bad like it did for me this week and you think you can't take it any more, please call and get help. You really aren't alone. There is help available. Your friends love you and if you feel you have no friends, call the following suicide prevention groups. I'm paraphrasing the copy, but just know bottom line, someone is there to talk to you if you're feeling like you can't take it any longer.

Hang in there. Give it another day. And reach out for help like I did. There's nothing shameful about asking for help. Cry out to Jesus like Third Day sings.

"The Befrienders, is a great site for those reading this blog internationally. This group works worldwide to provide emotional support and reduce suicide. They listen to people who are in distress. They don't judge, or tell you what to do - they listen.

The Suicide Prevention Center is for those who live in Los Angeles, CA.

A program of Didi Hirsch Community Mental Health Center

24 Hour Crisis Line
1.877.7.CRISIS
1.877.727.4747 or 310.391.1253

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial:

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential."

If you're living a life affected by someone else's drinking, visit an Al-Anon group and receive comfort  knowing you're not alone and learn new ways of living. If you're the drinker and want to change, visit an Alcoholics Anonymous group. If you click on either link, it will lead you to where there's a meeting near you.

And, if you have courage and a desire to plug into a family that is like none other, then cross the threshold of a church near you.I've made the best friends of my life at church and am living proof that God's love is alive and well in Hermosa Beach, CA.

You're invited to join me at Bay Cities Community Church either in Redondo Beach or Lomita, CA tomorrow if you're in the South Bay. All the directions are in the church link. I might hit the 8am again in RB just to enjoy the intimacy of a smaller service, but there are services at 9:30 and 11:00am too. Or find a church near you.

You'll be blessed. I guarantee it. God will meet you right where you are, especially during this Christmas season. Here's Jars of Clay to share Love Came Down at Christmas to take us out.

God bless you.  God loves you and so do I.

Oh happy day...Random Sharp Objects, Harvest Home, LA Louver

By Joy A. Kennelly

I must share that although I'm not big on live theatre, my friend Esther Friedman's show, Random Sharp Objects, last night was really quite good - almost surprisingly so because I had no idea what to expect at all. I've linked to the review so you can learn more. I think it runs two more weeks so catch it if you can.

I've known her for years and have never seen her perform except in the infamous "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas" commercial where she's giggling with friends in a limo.

We bumped into each other again at the Independent Television Festival where she and her friend were there as finalists for something or something like that (I forget and since I'm not their publicist and just sharing as a friend I don't have to get it right! Esther - add a comment at the end with the correct info ok?)

To make them both feel good I spoke to the publicist manning the red carpet at the festival and enabled them to do some publicity shots with I think one of their producers (again, not sure of the facts, just sharing as a friend) which can be seen here. They were thrilled and it made me feel good to help them out.

Ever since then she's been inviting me to see her show, but I have been so busy I wasn't traveling to Hollywood too much. I had a night free last night and since the theatre was right down the street from my good friend Shana, I thought what the hey.

I'm so glad I did! I'd had a very emotionally stressful morning and the play was funny. It was also very poignant too. Here's the blurb on the play from the postcard so you can check it out:

"Esther grew up mixed up 1/2 white, 1/2 black, 1/2 Jewish, 1/2 Christian. She must deal with her past to change her future. Hali comes form a good Jewish middle class home with some loose floor boards. She explores why she never fit in and sought her thrills outside.

In Random Sharp Objects these two women examine their lives, seeking answers to such profound questions as why Hali is attracted to bums and why Esther does not date black men. Together they peel the onion of illusions."

Here's a quote from Esther in the Jewish Journal article written on the play too:

"The play has proved cathartic for both actresses. 'I kept many of these stories secret for years, because they were so painful," Friedman says. "But keeping secrets can kill your spirit.'"

I could so relate to Esther's story! It was kind of comforting to realize I'm not the only one with these life experiences and to be honest I almost cried when I left the theatre it moved me so much. Esther really captures and shares what life was like growing up mixed in New York inhabiting all the characters of her family so well.

I especially loved the diatribe on her padunk-a-dunk (butt) which until this play I had actually never noticed! Not only because I'm a woman and don't make it a habit to check out other women's behinds, but also because Esther is so much more than her butt! However, it was very interesting to see what kind of issues were raised growing up because of her shape. Also, her mixed heritage.

I highly recommend checking it out if you can. She's an undiscovered talent who deserves a closer look. Sending you lots of love Esther! Hali, her counter-point, is great too! Here's some love for you too ok?

Enjoyed visiting with Shana afterward and introducing her to my South Bay girlfriend. Shana keeps promising me she'll come visit me, but I doubt it! Too far and she's way too busy too. (how do you like all the "too's"?)

Today hit the Harvest Home reunion which was interesting. Hard to believe I ever lived there to be honest, but it's the truth. Saw some old friends, made some new ones and also received a video on the place which I intend to share around. It's cool to see they have their marketing together.

A flood of memories came rushing back - the sewing classes, the nutrition classes, the birthing classes, having to cook for 10 women at least once a week, the chores, the room I lived in, my thoughts and dreams for the couple who would adopt my son, and the discipline and growing up I did there too. Also remembering producing my film festival from there! What chaos that part was. A lot went on there for me in more ways than one.

I'll never forget hating the 10pm curfew and having to do chores even when I was sick because they wanted me to experience what it would be like to have a child and be sick and responsible for the welfare of my household. I also remember all the times I had to run to the hospital for various complications - all the flus I had and all the sadness of that time.

My life is so completely different now it's amazing. God is good!

Drove around looking at some potential new places afterwards and then popped into LA Louver to check out their art on display. Hard to believe such an amazing art gallery is in Venice, CA within walking distance to the beach. Quite stunning venue. I love modern, contemporary style.

My favorite artist's pieces were Michael C. McMillen's sign painters' enamel;  Charles Garabedian's Willie Snake which is so huge it takes up almost one entire wall of the cavernous space;  Don Suggs Arc of Hours; Dan Ho's My Green Dreams (he isn't listed for some reason); and my favorite, Rebecca Campbell's Tangle , which I was surprised was so inexpensive comparatively. 

I was expecting a much higher price point because it's so visually arresting. Her other smaller works are wonderful and clustered together next to this huge piece which measures 102 x 76.5. 

I think she's absolutely brilliant and extremely gifted as an artist. Such variety in style and her images are so life-like. I would have Tangle in my house in a heartbeat if I had the type of house this piece deserves. It's so expansive and draws you in to take a closer look. One feels like you're peeking in on a real person taking a nap it's so life-like. You definitely must go to see this piece if you have time. They don't showcase the current exhibits online so you need to go visit regardless!

There was also a David Hockney on display in the reception area that is fun. For some reason though I resonated most with Rebecca Campbell's work. The entire gallery is filled with amazing artists and you'd do yourself a huge favor if you took the time to visit. Highly, highly, highly recommend it.

Okay, that's all. Just had to share. I need to hurry up and get ready to go out. Chow baby! 

9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life and other thoughts...

By Joy A. Kennelly

Sometimes you just need a good friend to tell it like it is and remind you that God is in control, not you. I keep saying I'm turning my life over to His will and His leading in my life, but deep down inside I keep thinking that means I'll still get to play in Hollywood with all my friends I've known for years and years.

Not so. I was reminded tonight by my good friend that when one door closes, another opens. Right now it seems like God is closing the door for me to do more personal publicity for actors and it's very sad to me. I LOVE that kind of work. I love helping people brand themselves and create business and opportunities from that identity.

I LOVE IT! It makes me very happy and I think I'm good at it. Others do too, but they can't afford my services (at least the ones I'm meeting. Maybe I need to meet more better ones. Ya think?)

For whatever reason though, it's just not happening right now and I have to accept that fact as a fact and stop living in denial. Maybe I'll go back to doing it down the road, but for now... Not happening. I'm beginning to realize I don't really know what God wants for my life anymore.

That's why my friend telling me she knows I have a gift for publicity and that maybe God wants to use my talents in representing the South Bay is a little overwhelming, but also encouraging. Maybe this is the right direction to take.

I have to admit though. When I think about living AND working down here I feel like I'm going to be bored out of my skull! What is going on at night other than bars and happy hours? Will someone please tell me? Lots of stuff to do on the weekends and during the day, but nights? WHAT IS THERE TO DO - ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE SINGLE???

Maybe I need to start planning some parties and get some events going or something. I don't know, but I do know that if I am going to stay down here I need to entertain myself. I can't deal with the thought that the highlight of my night is going to be meeting a friend of mine down at Barnes & Nobles and seeing what the latest mags are. I'll shrivel up and die! Not that there's anything wrong with it, but not all the time!

No wonder people drink so much down here. LOL. They're bored! I'm bored! Oh well. I need to stop ragging on my little home town and start doing something to make it more fun. I'm sure there's other people like me who would love to do stuff at night too.

I can only hit Java Man so often too. Love that place, but have to say, the customer service with some of the guys working there has gotten kind of bad. I don't know why. I'm not tipping any different than I have in the past. I am ordering the same stuff. I don't know. Just an fyi, mr. owner guy. Especially the Sunday closing crew. What's up their butt?

I was so bored I threw an impromptu night BBQ on Tuesday and all nine people I invited showed up. That was with two hours notice. I think they're bored too. This community needs something pulling the singles and those without children of the town together outside of bars. Just a thought.

I'm tired. Just felt like blogging. It's been awhile because I've been busy and other stuff taking up my time, but I miss sharing. Maybe it's a little too personal, but I always hope that perhaps other people will relate to what I've written and will be comforted or encouraged to know they're not alone feeling the way they do.

One of the things the former shrink from the Women of Faith conference I attended last weekend said is, "When we reveal, then we heal." (This was a very fun conference, but kind of Christian lite so you had to be there which is why I'm not covering it. Check out the link for more details. It's good, just not what I expected. Laughed a lot though!)

Back to my original thought - "When we reveal, we heal." I know, trite phrase, but it was also echoed in this book I bought that weekend by Christian clinical psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, entitled 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life.

I kept trying to read bits and pieces of the book over the breaks because it had such an intriguing title and he's such a great author on numerous topics. I almost didn't get it because I still have a gift card from the women's retreat I attended and was going to get it later, but then I read his counseling of an overweight patient about how to effectively lose weight - one pound at a time, one week at a time (more details in the book - read it! It's really great. This is my 2nd time reading it now.) which was a concept I hadn't really grasped because I'm the "I want it now and if I can't have it right now why bother" type person.

However, that idea really resonated with me and since reading the book I've joined a gym again. Time to hit the ground running so to speak. Maybe I'll eat more salads now too. Maybe Weight Watchers is next? Who knows? :)

Back to the book though, I digress. What Dr. Cloud explains is that there are 9 certain traits and characteristics of successful people that he was able to analyze after meeting so many "de ja vu" people.
He calls them that because he kept meeting people who reminded him of other people and he thought maybe he'd met them before because there were so many similarities, but then he realized these people all addressed life in the same successful  way. That's the genesis of the book. I highly, highly recommend it. It's easy to read, lots of examples with real people not celebrities which would make you think you can't attain that life, and very informative.

There's a little study guide that goes along with it and if you bought the two together at the conference I was attending you got a discount - I bought both.:) Now I'm starting to read the daily step by step guide to changing your life in 30 days. It's very scriptural so if that's not your thing don't bother. But if you are interested in hearing God's perspective on you and your dreams, then get it. I'm enjoying reading it too.

Speaking of goal setting... A few of my friends and I are going to start the Goal Gals back up again real soon. (It's something I created back in the mid-90's which my friend Cynthia named when she was part of it where I get groups of people together to accomplish goals in three month increments.)

I'm excited about starting again because I always get so much support in groups like this and accomplish so much more than I would by myself. It's a good time to start too because pretty soon I'm going to be very busy again. I'm very excited that my producer/writer/mentor friend, Marcia, is going to help me create my adoption doc because I'm just way too close to be objective. Should be interesting...at least I hope!

I'm also looking forward to taking Chris Howard's seminar again next weekend. He takes everything that's taught on goal setting and just kicks it up to a whole other level. I was so inspired last time I attended can't wait to attend this one. I think you can still sign up for free. Check it out. If you're a conference attender like I am!:)

I'm still loving working with my artist client, Gali Rotstein. She's creating some really cool new art pieces and is busy in the studio. I'm busy pitching her to more and more galleries. We have some pending, but until things are confirmed I can't really discuss them here. Just know as soon as we know, you will know. There's also a very cool women's magazine (one of my favorites actually) interested in her story too and if I get her that hit, it will be major! Say a prayer!:)

Otherwise, wrapped the car gig last week (although they're not done, but I was - HA HA) and have been busy catching up on things this week as a result. I don't know how people work 9am - 5pm. I really don't. It's so machine like. But the money's nice I guess. However, according to my Henry Cloud book, it's more important to do something that makes your heart sing.

So, I'm off to read more and learn what's going to make my heart sing! Have a good one all.

Don't be a stranger.

Enjoy the read.

South Bay Sorrow - Al Anon & Alcohol Anonymous support

By Joy A. Kennelly

I'm beginning to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and praying for the wisdom to know the difference. It still deeply, deeply, deeply, saddens me that the South Bay is so over-run with rampant, flagrant alcohol abuse on our public parks and beaches.

I couldn't stop from crying today as I shared my past few weeks with my Al Anon group because it just breaks my heart that my city is so blind to the legacy of drinking we're leaving generations to come unless we make some changes now.

Here's some information to help those of you curious what I'm talking about to understand the nature of this disease. Those who suffer from it can find information on Alcoholic Anonymous at the end. Thanks for reading. My prayers and thoughts are with the city and those who still suffer.

May we see ourselves as we are and decide how we want to live. One day at a time.

Al-Anon Family Groups Backgrounder         

In the U.S. and Canada, there are more than 18 million people with a drinking problem, and only 10 percent of them will ever get help. according to some estimates, every individual with a drinking problem disrupts the lives of at least four other people through business and financial responsibilities neglected or the child who loses a parent due to a drunken driving accident, careers ruined and marriages destroyed by problem drinking. Of the estimated 80 million Americans and Canadians affected by someone else's drinking, most will not get help for themselves and many will never even realize that they could have benefited from some insight into the problems caused by another person's drinking.

Al-Anon Family Groups was the first of many mutual support groups to adapt AA's Twelve Step Program. It is well-known, but still not widely understood. Al-Anon focuses only on providing confidential help to people in need. There are no celebrity spokespeople; the confidentiality and anonymity of members is strictly protected.

Al-Anon Family Groups (which includes Alateen for younger family members) is a pioneer in the concept of "family recovery" from alcoholism, which holds that one person's drinking problem adversely affects the lives of close friends and family, and that friends and family who are able to recover from these adverse affects are able to improve their lives, as well as the problem drinker's chances for recovery.

There are 26,000 autonomous Al-Anon/Alateen groups in 131 countries, with groups now starting in Cuba, Iran and Romania.

Al-Anon Family Groups is supported by members' contributions and sale of its literature. The group declines contributions from non-members, and accepts no outside funding from government, foundations, or other agencies.

Al-Anon has helped millions of people over 55 years, and sold about 13 million books, including the inspirational daily readers One Day at a Time in Al-Anon and Courage to Change. There are more than 100 Al-Anon/Alateen books and pamphlets. A range of materials are available in more than 30 languages.

Information on A.A.

Alcoholics Anonymous® is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

Donny's fans, Portofino Hotel & Yacht Club in Redondo Beach

By Joy A. Kennelly

I'm absolutely wiped out tonight - too many meetings all week long. Hoping to have more next week, but tonight I'm kickin' it.

Just had to comment though that Donny Deutsch seems to have a lot of fans! Most people who've found my blog this week are because of my writing about his Big Idea show...LOL.

In any case, had an amazing dinner and drinks with Ewa and Gary over at the Portofino Hotel & Yacht Club in Redondo Beach the other night. I didn't even recognize the property since it's been completely renovated - it was absolutely stunning.

If you haven't gone there in a few years, it's definitely worth taking a date you want to impress to their Baleen restaurant since it's extremely romantic with subdued lighting, candlelight at the table, the boats gently rocking in the harbor, a cool sea breeze coming in the open windows, and amazing food!

Here's the official description of the restaurant according to one travel site I found:

Baleen Los Angeles

"Nationally renowned for its serious food and whimsical mood, the all-new Baleen Redondo Beach brings an eclectic fine dining experience to The Portofino Hotel & Yacht Club, with the Pacific Ocean offering the perfect backdrop. For outside dining, the patio overlooks the marina with dramatic drapery and firepits. Inside, the motif is balanced with dark wood flooring and accents. The upstairs bar offers a cosmopolitan-lounge vibe, with fireside sofas and chairs."

I'm not a foodie so I can't do the food justice, but trust me it was really, really good. The entire place is like this hidden jewel of the South Bay. Shhh, don't tell anyone because I want it to be my private hide-a-way when I need to get away from the world.

Very sophisticated, charming, resort-feel to this sea-side location. I just loved it and loved the company of that night. If you look at the web site you will be blown away with the renovation of the place. Very elegant - definitely my kind of hotel.

We three met at the big chamber mixer over in El Segundo and had originally planned to just get together for drinks, but pretty soon, drinks lead to appetizers which lead to me enjoying filet mignon encrusted in Roquefort on a bed of sliced short rib pieces with a side of mashed potatoes and artichoke and a caprese salad. Wonderful.

I had been so tired from driving all day to various meetings when we first met at 7:00pm I had to have two cokes to wake up. By the time we left the restaurant it  must have been around 10:30pm we were all having such a fun time getting to know each other. That was a pure dining experience.

Ewa, the controller of the hotel, is so entertaining and interesting. Gary is my new ad/marketing bud who runs Tiburon Design. Very gifted, talented guy with a great company. Highly recommend him and his work. I must say, that evening was one of my more memorable South Bay experiences to date.

Okay, that's all for now. I'm too tired.

Time to hit the hay. Have fun out there.

Remember - don't drink and drive!:)

God heard me

This was the Encouragement lesson for the day I get over the Internet. I needed to hear this.

You’re the One

By MaryBeth Whalen

 2 Chronicles 16:9a, “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” (NIV)

 
Devotion:

Do you ever long to hear God say, “I choose you”? Maybe you have read that He has a plan for everyone’s life or you have heard a pastor say that He loves you. But in your heart of hearts, you wonder: Am I special? Does God see me?

There are stories from the Bible that illustrate how God calls ordinary people out of their ordinary lives. It is clear from the Scriptures that in each case He was watching them long before He invaded their lives with His holy presence.

God chose Noah simply because He lived a righteous life. Genesis 6:8 tells us, “But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.”

God chose David simply because He saw His heart. Psalm 78:70-73 tells us, “He chose David his servant and took him from the sheep pens; from tending the sheep he brought him to be the shepherd of his people, Jacob, of Israel, his inheritance. And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.”

God chose Mary simply because He knew she would do what He asked. Luke 1:30 tells us, “But the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.’”

None of these people held lofty positions or had received worldly acclaim. They were “nobodies” "nothing special" and yet God saw each of them as they went about their daily lives, doing the most mundane of tasks. He saw their character, their right choices, and their hearts. And He said in response, “You’re the one.” 

In Mark 5:21-34, Jesus is walking with a crowd of people, all pressing in on Him, hungry for His attention, His healing, His words. The Bible tells us that the crowd “pressed around him” (Verse 24). I imagine people were clutching and grabbing at Him, desperate for even a small piece of Him. Only one woman, however, pressed in such a way that it caused Him to stop and turn to her. Her touch was different from all the rest. This woman didn’t just touch Him with her hands, but with her heart of faith. He felt the difference as His power went out of Him (verse 30), and He in effect said in response to her: You’re the one. This woman was a “nobody,” with nothing to offer the God of the Universe. Yet, He found her worthy of His time and attention. He chose her. 

God wants to find those people whose hearts are desperate for Him. He wants to heal, strengthen, and equip these people. He isn’t looking for the worthy, the intelligent, or the beautiful people. He is looking for the ordinary ones who are simply open to His invading presence in their lives. If He is calling you right now, don’t convince yourself that He isn’t. God sees you, just as you are, and He knows the ones He calls.   

Dear Lord, please remind me today that You do notice me and that I am worthy in Your sight. Strengthen me to do whatever it is You have prepared in advance for me to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I Chronicles 28:9, “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.” (NIV) 

 

Romans 8:27, “And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” (NIV)

 

Jeremiah 17:10, “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” (NIV)

 

 

 

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.Proverbs31.org

 

Thought provoking interview with Rick Warren

I just got this via email and need a day to recuperate from the OMMA conference .

I thought you may enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, "The Purpose Driven Life" author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.

People ask me, what is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life.  The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth.

  I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money o r notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.

That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

This is beautiful and food for the soul. Here's the Purpose Driven Life Covenant in case you've never seen this before.

Today I am stepping across the line. I’m tired of waffling and I’m finished with wavering, I’ve made my choice, the verdict is in, and my decision is irrevocable. I’m going God’s way. There’s no turning back now!

         

I will live the rest of my life serving God’s purposes with God’s people on God’s planet for God’s glory. I will use my life to celebrate his presence, cultivate his character, participate in his family, demonstrate his love, and communicate his word.

         

Since my past has been forgiven, and I have a purpose for living, and a home awaiting in heaven, I refuse to waste any more time or energy on shallow living, petty thinking, trivial talking, thoughtless doing, useless regretting, hurtful resenting, or faithless worrying. Instead I will magnify God, grow to maturity, serve in ministry, and fulfill my mission in the membership of his family.

         

Because this life is preparation for the next, I will value worship over wealth, “we” over “me”, character over comfort, service over status, and people over possessions, position, and pleasures. I know what matters most and I’ll give it all I’ve got. I’ll do the best I can with what I have for Jesus Christ today.

         

I won’t be captivated by culture, manipulated by critics, motivated by praise, frustrated by problems, debilitated by temptation, or intimidated by the devil. I’ll keep running my race with my eyes on the goal, not the sidelines or those running by me. When times get tough, and I get tired, I won’t back up, back off, back down, back out or backslide. I’ll just keep moving forward by God’s grace. I’m Spirit-led, purpose-driven and mission-focused so I I cannot be bought, I will not be compromised, and I shall not quit until I finish the race.          

I’m a trophy of God’s amazing grace so I will be gracious to everyone, grateful for everyday, and generous with everything that God entrusts to me.

         

To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I say: However, Whenever, Wherever, and Whatever you ask me to do, my answer in advance is yes!  Wherever you lead and whatever the cost, I’m ready. Anytime. Anywhere. Anyway. Whatever it takes Lord; Whatever it takes! I want to be used by you in such a way, that on that final day I’ll hear you say, “Well done, thou good and faithful one. Come on in, and let the eternal party begin!”

Amen and Amen. God bless you! I promise business and more LA Fashion Week stuff soon. I just had to share this in the meantime.

Some good news for all us chitlin's

Every time I'm tempted to think my "bleep" don't stink, I'm reminded that I'm just as fallen as the next person. I may not act out sexually (at least anymore! ha ha), but I gossip, hold grudges, mock people, and basically do things I know aren't very Godly. Bite me.

JUST KIDDING! Can't you take a joke? I'm serious here. Just had to make you laugh. Are you smiling at least? See, even Christians have a sense of humor - may be a little twisted, but there you have it.

I woke up at 5am today for some reason and decided to work on my Grace workbook for my upcoming Bible Study next week. It's real interesting to be in that type Christian group setting again, because I haven't done this type of intense study since high school. It takes a little adjustment to come under someone else's authority and realize that God is going to use that person and all the other people in the group to teach me and build me into His likeness.

To be honest, it's quite humbling. When you're used to living alone, working alone, doing things when you want to do them, and how you want to do them, it takes some adjustment to listen to what others have to say or read guidance when it pertains to your life. Not that I'm complaining, just explaining.

I think there's a reason and a season for everything we go through in life. If I really looked at it, I'd realize there's been a reason that I've been isolated down here in the South Bay. All my usual whatevers have been stripped away - little TV (except for Studio 60 and Grey's Anatomy - can't miss them!), no radio for the longest time (just got my car fixed and have my radio back now - it's weird to drive and listen to music at the same time now), few friends to go out with down here (although I'm making more), and for awhile, no car to get around in while it was getting fixed, and obviously no men to "hang out with."

Now that I'm preparing to move, having been given the go-ahead, I wonder if I'll carry some of what I've gained from this temporary monastic way of living with me. Maybe the Amish aren't so far off after all? I can't believe I'm even thinking that. But seriously. When you strip away everything that you feel defines you, or you feel makes your life what it is, and all that's left is you and God, it's kind of cool.

It's made me look at areas of my life I would normally just ignore and pretend they don't hurt, or exist, when they do and they matter to me. It's made me evaluate certain relationships and realize where they're lacking, or where they're flourishing. It's made me evaluate parts of my personality that I haven't wanted to-- my pride, my judging spirit, my gossiping which isn't pretty.

It's so easy to fall into patterns of behavior that are similar to the people you surround yourself with. I'm not blaming them, or saying all my friends do these things, just trying to understand myself. I also realize that I judge myself so harshly that sometimes that carries over to my judging others under the same harshness. We're all fallen people with faults and foibles, but God still loves each and every one of us. That's the miracle part of all this to me.

If I were God, I know I wouldn't be as kind to me and to others as He is, yet that's just who He is. As part of my study this morning, they had us close the time of introspection and confession with reading the following Psalm. It was so good I just had to get up and share it with you to encourage you as you face your day and your life.

Read on if you want a blessing. I share more at the end.

Psalm 103

A David Psalm

   ^{1 -2} O my soul, bless God.

    From head to toe, I'll bless his holy name!
   O my soul, bless God, 

don't forget a single blessing!   

^{3 -5} He forgives your sins—every one.
      He heals your diseases—every one.
      He redeems you from hell—saves your life!
      He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
      He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.
      He renews your youth—you're always young in his presence.   

^{6 -18} God makes everything come out right;
      he puts victims back on their feet.
   He showed Moses how he went about his work,
      opened up his plans to all Israel.
   God is sheer mercy and grace;
      not easily angered, he's rich in love.
   He doesn't endlessly nag and scold,
      nor hold grudges forever.
   He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve,
      nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
   As high as heaven is over the earth,
      so strong is his love to those who fear him.
   And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
      he has separated us from our sins.
   As parents feel for their children,
      God feels for those who fear him.
   He knows us inside and out,
      keeps in mind that we're made of mud.
   Men and women don't live very long;
      like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,
   But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly,
      leaving nothing to show they were here.
   God's love, though, is ever and always,
      eternally present to all who fear him,
   Making everything right for them and their children
      as they follow his Covenant ways
      and remember to do whatever he said.

19 -22 God has set his throne in heaven;

      he rules over us all. He's the King!
   So bless God, you angels,
      ready and able to fly at his bidding,
      quick to hear and do what he says.
   Bless God, all you armies of angels,
      alert to respond to whatever he wills.
   Bless God, all creatures, wherever you are—
      everything and everyone made by God.

   And you, O my soul, bless God!

So, that's all. Just needed to share since I've been so angry and bitter and shocked over this latest revelation on the guy I cared about. I forgive him. He was acting out of his own woundness and probably still is. May God bless his life and love Him right where he is. I think he needs it!  I know I need it.

What's so amazing to me whenever I read the Psalms is to realize that it was written by King David and he did so many things against God and his fellow man, yet God still loved him. What amazes me even more is how much God used him despite everything he'd done.

That's what gives me hope. Despite myself, God can, and will, use me to his glory by his grace. That totally blows me away. I can be the biggest (I'm really trying hard to clean up my swearing, so bear with me) mess-up, yet God will take my mistakes and use me. I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it. He has so much grace for us! He loves us unconditionally and without keeping score.

People wonder why I'm a Christian, and all I can do is point to God's love. I need it in my life. I need to feel that someone cares enough for me to die for me. I need to feel that nothing I do will ever separate me from the love of God. Nothing I say, nothing I write, nothing I do, NOTHING.

Relationships in the physical sense can change, drop off, end, or fade away, but my relationship with God is here to stay. I can be judged by others, but God loves me just the way I am. That is so freeing to me. I need at least one relationship in my life where I can totally trust that they have my back and want the best for me. I have friends like that, but you get what I'm saying.

Life's too hard to go it alone. I love that I have a heavenly Father I can cry out to in pain and anger and know that He hears me and loves me right where I am. I don't know about you, but it's very comforting to know that it's not all on me.

So, sorry to preach, but I just felt like I had to share. It's been building up for a while now. God is greater than any messed up relationship, any messed up work situation, any frustrating project, and anything else that the world throws at us to bring us down. I don't know about you, but I'm happy to know that. I'd rather be a fool for Jesus, than a fool without love.

I hope this has been encouraging to you. I feel better sharing. Now to try and go back to sleep for just a bit. I read somewhere that 8 hours of sleep is one of the key components to weight loss so I'm trying it!:)

God bless you everyone!

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive

I've been trying real hard not to blog about this, but it's really bugging me so here goes. I've been doing stuff all day and just need to take a minute to vent. I did hit an al-anon meeting, but I feel like I need to share here too.

Has anyone else ever fallen in love with a con man? I'm beginning to feel like this is the fate of my love life and I'll never find someone who is honest and trustworthy. I know that isn't really true, but I'm feeling  like I've been duped again. The only thing I'm happy about is that I never gave this guy any money. I'm positive there are many other women who did and are still doing it!

What is it about women in LA especially who feel that it's ok to have a mooching boyfriend? Why do we all "give it up" whether it be sex, treating a man like he's a husband when he's not, paying for him, letting him almost move in, or whatever so quickly and easily? We're smart, we're accomplished, we're loved by many, yet so often we fall for men's lines that they love us, we're the only ones, etc, etc all the while they're fooling around with so many other women it's sickening. I am beginning to think LA is the Alfie capital of the world.

For those of you who haven't seen the movie - here's the synopsis in brief:   Alfie follows a charming, if morally lacking, womanizer from one bed to the next. While his actions arise more from nonchalance than malice, Alfie nonetheless faces a moral dilemma when considering the two women he has impregnated: his common-law wife, whom he hasn't treated very well even outside of his tendency to stray, and one of his mistresses.

Sometimes I have to think it's a miracle that certain guys dicks don't fall off it's used so often. I guess that's why there is Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings right? I look back on past relationships and I think why did I waste so much time? What was I thinking? However, I can honestly say I've never supported any man, treated him like a husband, or lived with anyone. Big whup right?

Now, just to look forward and realize that what's done is done and move on. Ask God to forgive me and accept forgiveness. Also to let go of the resentment I'm feeling towards this guy. It's just hard because for whatever reason I do care about him despite everything. However, this too shall pass. I'm going out cold turkey. No more communication. I've done it before and I'll do it now. Time to heal and move on!

What I learned in my meeting today is that I can't control anyone, but myself. He's going to do what he's going to do (to multiple women, over and over again and even now probably) and I need to do what I'm going to do (take care of myself so this doesn't happen again.)

Okay, thanks for listening. I feel a little better. To all the womanizers who have popped by for a quickie, may you rot in hell. Or find God. Whichever comes first. :) To all others, don't let yourself become a  statistic and waste your youth on bad boys.

Life's too short.

It's so easy to run from feeling anything when you're busy

Just finished catching up on my Grey's Anatomy shows that I missed by watching them on the internet. Last time I tried it it was a horrible experience because it kept jumping offline, but somehow tonight it worked.

I always forget how this show grabs my heart every time and I end up feeling things I try to ignore normally. Like feeling abandoned and rejected by a certain man in my life and my old church. However, tonight the feelings just came up. Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe I needed the reminder that I can't keep busy and expect to never feel the hurt. I always cry during this show because of all the relationship issues and how these characters resolve or don't resolve things.

It's easy to watch others lives and think yours is better, but is it ever really? I was so doing so well this week pretending like nothing mattered and then tonight - boom. Hurt with a capital H. Perhaps it was the email from the church inviting me to a "shower" for the kitchen - something I've yet to experience. I don't know.

I've asked to be removed from the church emailing list because the other night my girlfriends helped me to see that that wasn't the church for me - even  though I was sure they'd come around eventually. I was sure they'd see the hurt and pain they inflict by insisting that it's too much trouble to create another ministry, or exclude the one person with the guts to say something because she expresses herself verbally and in written form whereas everyone else just slinks quietly away with nary a flicker of acknowledgement.

Then I look at the man who everyone tells me is bad for me, yet I cling to his false words of love and hope that I'm the one he really cares about all the while continuing the relationship he said he ended. I need to break free once and for all. How can I ever meet someone new if I'm clinging to something that's poisonous to my soul?

What was interesting was having two conversations with two separate girlfriends tonight about their feeling it's time for a South Bay Christian Singles group too. One pointed out that she will spend inordinate amounts of time alone just writing her thoughts down (like I'm doing here) and she's starting to realize that's maybe not healthy for her. My sharing my desire to have community and fellowship to have accountability and friendships opened her eyes to her need too.

The other night I was craving male contact and almost called a friend I would have in the past  slept with to avoid feeling alone or unlovable and I called another friend instead and left her a message asking her to pray for me. I love spending time with this male friend, but he's made it very clear he doesn't want a relationship, or to get married and I just can't be with him in that way anymore. It just doesn't feel right.

Maybe my old pastor's scripture reading about sex is now pounding in my head too loudly - God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterers. I don't know. Also, his words that sex outside of marriage is solely for pleasure - so true. But pleasure doesn't satisfy. You enjoy it for a bit, but then you're left with an emptiness and a desire for more that just doesn't get fulfilled when it's not within the context of a loving, monogamous relationship.

So, I'm glad I didn't succumb to that desire. I ended up having such a good time at the Prom party I went to with my client and bumped into some friends there that helped take my mind off my feeling bad, that I actually had a great night. Maybe my cry for help to my friend was heard by God indirectly and he decided to throw me a bone. I met a guy there who I'm very attracted to and hope to see again real soon.

It's just hard when you're a Christian because it's easy to fall for someone, but it has to be someone who shares your faith in God and that's the hard part. I could have been married a couple times before, but opted out because of lack of compatiblity of faith.

So, as I move forward with this singles ministry, my prayer is that I'll make more friends who I can share openly and honestly with and find encouragement as I walk this solo path that God has me on. I also will continue to pray for the men who despitefully use me because that's just what I do. Maybe I feel by doing so God will heap burning coals on their head because they'll feel so guilty for lying and leading me on.

All I know is when the time is right, everything will fall into place and I'll look back on this time in my life and wonder how I ever loved the men I did because I'll be so happy with the man God has brought me.

I just have to trust God and keep my legs crossed until that time! Wish me luck. It's tough out here. At least I'm still having fun. That prom was a riot and made me laugh out loud quite often. People were wearing tuxes, prom dresses, crowns, and everything else in between. There were balloons surrounding the dance floor just like you'd expect from a prom - I never actually attended mine because I don't think my Dad was into it.

I never became a cheerleader because he didn't support that either. Oh well, maybe it's just as well. Every prom that my event friends have thrown though has been a blast and I have those memories to make me smile.

I'm tired and need to sleep. Today was a very big day and I'm exhausted from it. TTFN. Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. :)