Pure, Unadulterated Joy

American Photographer, Mark Abrahams, has a new book out. Text by James Frey.

One of the foremost fashion and magazine cover photographers of the past two decades, American photographer Mark Abrahams has straddled the gap between fashion and celebrity portraiture with guileless simplicity and exacting care.

A self-taught photographer, Abrahams portrays his subjects with an introspective depth and candor. His subjects run the gamut of the A-list: Julianne Moore, George Clooney, James Franco, Dakota Fanning, Sean Diddy Combs, Ashley Olsen, Dennis Hopper, Lindsay Lohan, Larry Clark, Michelle Obama, Ed Ruscha, Philip Roth, Roberto Bolle, Evander Holyfield, Kate Winslet, Justin Timberlake, Tom Hanks, Rachel Weisz and countless others. This volume provides a dazzling parade of the glitterati under Abrahams' lens, devoid of affectation or artifice. Abrahams is donating his portion of the proceeds from this book to benefit Hope For Haiti Now.

Mark Abrahams was born in 1958 in Santa Ana, California. The gift of a Nikon FM from his mother ignited his passion for photography. Working as a truck driver by day, Abrahams transformed his tiny bathroom into a functioning darkroom to develop film, retouch negatives and manipulate surfaces at night. Against all odds, in the early 1990s Abrahams found himself shooting iconic musicians, jetting to Milan with supermodels and landing editorial shoots with L'Uomo Vogue, Deutsch Vogueand GQ.

You can buy it here: http://www.artbook.com/9788862081382.html

#Personal Branding by #Joy Kennelly, #Seth Godin, and #Dan Schwabel - Introduction #in

By Joy A. Kennelly

After recently experiencing poor leadership in an organization, I began a search to discover what quantifies great leadership and what qualities are common among those who are great leaders.

I focused in on creative leaders and how they lead because of my personal entertainment and fashion background and my own perspective as a leader.

That, and watching the fun times Bret Michaels and Sharon Osbourne had working together on their Celebrity Apprentice Team projects which helped me realize they are leaders even though they don't fit the corporate world's mold of leadership. They actually have fun doing what they're doing which is my main motivation in everything I do too.

This will be a series of posts on some of the things I've learned thus far on those who are successful in branding themselves as leaders others should follow.

My first stop was Borders where I researched the top selling leadership, marketing and success gurus. What I discovered was there were a few prolific authors who rose to the top of this genre like Seth Godin, Robin Sharma, and John C. Maxwell to name a few.

Because I've been tested reading 900 words a minute and am a voracious reader whose personal library would quickly outgrow anywhere I live, I then went to the library to check out books by these men.

I don't know if its gender bias, or if female leadership books fall into a different section of the bookshelf, but I found it interesting there weren't that many, or any, in the leadership category.

I've always worked best with men so it doesn't bother me too much not to read some fluffy female's perspective, but I am still curious to hear if there are any female leadership books out there! Sorry ladies, you know some of you can be fluffy and all warm & cozy don't deny it. lol

My dad wanted boys growing up so we were raised completely different than most little girls and as a result are very independent socially, mentally and relationally. Plus, living and traveling overseas as a child apparently affects the way I look at things too according to Third Culture Kid research.

Or maybe even more telling, we didn't have a TV in the house until I was a Junior in High School and only then because I won it selling the most candy bars (with my sister's help) in a school contest. Not being bombarded by commercials and other society programming of what a girl is supposed to be in your formative years does tend to make you think differently than the average female living in the US I'm learning.

That said, if any of you reading this have any recommendations for female leadership books, please leave a comment as I would love to hear. I am a woman after all and do love learning from everyone.

Moving right along.

After collecting a stack of books to read and starting to read them, I then began searching for others who exhibited leadership qualities with something to say in the online realm in this regard as that's an area of focus for me also as a Social Media Strategist.

The guy who stood out to me immediately was Personal Branding Guru, Dan Schawbel. I'm sure there are others, but his profile and information caught my eye because of his age and his command of personal branding in the corporate world and online space.

In addition to reading and watching webinars, I also plan to start interviewing creative leaders in fashion, entertainment, food, and publishing which should be very interesting. I've also been invited to interview influential Hermosa Beach residents for Patch Hermosa which I'll announce here once they're published.

So, in the ensuing posts I'll be sharing what I've learned thus far and what I know about creative leadership having helped numerous people create their own personal brands as Actors, Fine Artists, Screenwriters, Filmmakers and others.

I'm breaking it up into separate posts because there's a lot of content and I want to give you a more in-depth analysis without overwhelming you with content.

More to come. Stay tuned...

Memoir: All the Single Ladies seminar

I've heard Amy Alkon before, but Julie Klausner, Giulia Melucco and Sascha Rothchild I haven't. Should be good. "Amy writes the award-winning nationally syndicated advice column 'The Advice Goddess' ... and is also the author of 'I see Rude People.'

Check out her blog at www.advicegoddess.com.:) Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Posted via email from joydacious's posterous

AWARD-WINNING FILM HISTORIAN/AUTHOR CHARLES ZIGMAN’S 2009/2010 “SECOND EDITION” OF WORLD'S COOLEST MOVIE STAR: THE COMPLETE 95 FILMS (AND LEGEND) OF JEAN GABIN VOLUMES I & II

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

                                                                                          For more information, contact: publisher@allenwoodpress.com

 “Jean Gabin is one of the greatest actors who ever lived.  He is, to me, the paradigm of the perfect actor.  He’s still. He’s honest.  He’s brave.  He would never make anything up.  He would never add any emotion to it… And he performs with such simplicity, that it can only be understood as artistic courage…”

David Mamet

  ALLENWOOD PRESS ANNOUNCES AN OCTOBER 1, 2009 RELEASE DATE OF

AWARD-WINNING FILM HISTORIAN/AUTHOR CHARLES ZIGMAN’S 2009/2010 “SECOND EDITION” OF WORLD'S COOLEST MOVIE STAR: THE COMPLETE 95 FILMS (AND LEGEND) OF JEAN GABIN VOLUMES I & II

Awarded “Best Performing Arts Book” by Independent Publisher Book Awards in 2009 and “Book of the Year” for Best Performing Arts Book by Foreword Magazine in ‘08

Los Angeles, CA – Allenwood Press announces October 1, 2009 as the release date of the 2^nd edition of a revised and expanded version of Film Historian/Author, Charles Zigman’s Award-Winning Two-Volume Set on the prolific film career of Actor Jean Gabin entitled, WORLD’S COOLEST MOVIE STAR: THE COMPLETE 95 FILMS (AND LEGEND) OF JEAN GABIN VOLS I AND II. Awarded “Best Performing Arts Book” by Independent Publisher Book Awards in 2009 and “Book of the Year” for Best Performing Arts Book by Foreword Magazine in ’08, the newly expanded and revised 2^nd edition includes new photographs and twelve completely re-written chapters, with new information discovered via reader feedback on the First Edition.

Considered to  be one of the greatest movie stars of all time by movie fans throughout the world, the legendary French actor Jean Gabin’s entire prolific film career is documented in the WORLD'S COOLEST MOVIE STAR: THE COMPLETE 95 FILMS (AND LEGEND) OF JEAN GABIN, VOLUMES ONE AND TWO. These are the very first filmography books on Jean Gabin and his ninety-five films in any language, not to mention the very first books ever written about Jean Gabin in the English-language.  “For many people around the world,” Ian Birnie, film curator of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art has said, “Jean Gabin is, and has always been, French cinema.”

The legendary actress Michele Morgan, who appeared with Gabin in some of his best known feature films, wrote the foreword to Volume One. Actress Brigitte Bardot penned an original foreword to Volume Two; Playwright/Director David Mamet has provided an “appreciation” in the same volume.

WORLD'S COOLEST MOVIE STAR: THE COMPLETE 95 FILMS (AND LEGEND) OF JEAN GABIN, VOLUMES I AND II is for Jean Gabin newbies and completists alike: For the un-initiated, both books feature lengthy biography and introductory chapters which place Gabin and his famous big-screen persona into perspective; and for film buffs, Film Historian/Author Charles Zigman presents ninety-five separate chapters dedicated to Jean Gabin's ninety-five theatrical feature films.  Each of the two volumes features over 100 rare archival photographs, never seen before in other published French-language books about Jean Gabin.

More than sixty motion pictures which have never been subtitled into English have been translated by native speakers and written about by Author Zigman in WORLD'S COOLEST MOVIE STAR: THE COMPLETE 95 FILMS (AND LEGEND) OF JEAN GABIN, VOLUMES I AND II, allowing English-speaking readers to feel, by reading about the films, that they’re actually ‘seeing’ them.  Excerpts included from original U.S. and European newspaper reviews, written between the 1930’s and the 1970’s, demonstrate how prominent movie critics received Gabin's pictures when they were first released.

Throughout the world, Jean Gabin is considered to be film history’s consummate everyman, and he continues to be a huge cult figure in the United States.  In 2002, week-long Jean Gabin festivals were presented at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art’ and at the Walter Reade Theatres in New York to sold-out crowds. In September of 2008, Author Zigman, in connection with the release of the First Edition, presented a two-night Jean Gabin Screening Event and Book Signing at the American Cinematheque at Hollywood’s Egyptian Theater.

 During the 1930s and 1940s, Gabin's popularity in the U.S. equaled that of Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney, and Bette Davis. Volume One, subtitled "Tragic Drifter," explores the period between 1930 to 1953, and covers the first forty-six of Gabin’s films, including the internationally renowned GRAND ILLUSION, as well as the 1937 gangster classic PEPE LE MOKO in which, as in other films made during this period, the actor reucrringly plays international movie history's most famous tragic drifter.

Volume Two, subtitled "Comeback/Patriarch," covers Films 47 through 95, which Gabin made between 1954 and 1976.  During this period, instead of playing the tragic drifter, the star played a series of mega-cool gentleman-criminals and world-weary yet life-loving patriarchs. Gabin even turned out comedies during this period, films which have been previously unknown to English-speaking audiences.

Film Historian/Author Charles Zigman’s goal is to introduce as many people as possible to Gabin’s films and life in a fun, informative, comprehensive way. The 2^nd edition of WORLD'S COOLEST MOVIE STAR: THE COMPLETE 95 FILMS (AND LEGEND) OF JEAN GABIN, VOLUMES I AND II will be available October 1, 2009.  The two volumes are sold separately.

Film Historian/Author Charles Zigman, a native of Los Angeles, has taught Film and Television at Augusta State University, Georgia. Zigman is a graduate of both UCLA’s undergraduate filmmaking program and Columbia University’s Graduate Department of Film in New York, where he co-wrote a screenplay with writing legend Terry Southern.  Zigman has also contributed articles to NEW TIMES LOS ANGELES, CULT MOVIES MAGAZINE, THE HOLLYWOOD STOCK EXCHANGE, WORD.COM, and L.A. TRIBE.COM, not to mention several chapters to the 2001 book GIG: AMERICANS TALK ABOUT THEIR JOBS AT THE TIME OF THE MILLENNIUM (Crown Books).  For the past ten years, he has traveled the world, researching and writing about all ninety-five films of Jean Gabin. He currently resides in Los Angeles, CA. For more information, go to www.jeangabinbook.com and www.allenwoodpress.com.

 Volume One: Tragic Drifter:  ISBN:  #978-0-9799722-0-1. ($39.95 U.S./£25.00 U.K./ €26.85 European Union.) Hardcover, 6 x 9, 576pps., 113 black and white photos, Pub. Date:  October 1, 2009.

 Volume Two: Comeback/Patriarch:  ISBN: #978-0-9799722-1-8. ($39.95 U.S./£25.00 U.K./ €26.85 European Union.) Hardcover, 6 X 9, 532pps., 100 black and white photos, Pub. Date:  October 1, 2009.

 Distributed by: Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.fr, Amazon.ca, Baker and Taylor, Barnes and Noble, Bertram’s, Blackwell Book Services, Coutts, Cypher Library Supplier, Gardner’s, Holt Jackson, Ingram, NACSCORP, Book Depository.

 

No Glass Ceiling, Just Blue Sky by Marcy Blochowiak - enjoy!

My coaching friend, Carol, just sent me this. I found it very inspirational and beautiful which is why I'm sharing it here. I take no credit, just posting it here for your reading pleasure because that's just the kind of girl I am.:)

No Glass Ceiling, Just Blue Sky

Words To Live By

An excerpt from No Glass Ceiling, Just Blue Sky

By Marcy Blochowiak

Dream what you want to dream; Go where you want to go; Be what you want to be, Because you have only one life And one chance to do all the things You want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, Enough trials to make you strong, Enough sorrow to keep you human and Enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily Have the best of everything; They just make the most of Everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always Be based on a forgotten past; You can't go forward in life until You let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying And everyone around you was smiling Live your life so at the end You're the one who is smiling and everyone Around you is crying. - Anonymous

Feel free to watch our 3 minute inspirational movie...No Glass Ceiling, Just Blue Sky. I think you'll love it!

Just click on the link below to watch.

No Glass Ceiling

Click Here To Watch

The article above was excerpted from the book "No Glass Ceiling, Just Blue Sky" By Marcy Blochowiak. It is reprinted here with permission. You may share this story as long as you do not edit the content; leave the links and this resource box intact.

Simple Truths

Mac Anderson is the founder of Simple Truths, a company dedicated to publishing great gift books that reinforce core values. Mac also founded Successories, Inc. the leader in designing and marketing products for motivation and recognition. Mac regularly speaks to corporate audiences on a variety of topics, including leadership, motivation, and team building. Mac has written three books and co-authored 5 more all available at http://www.simpletruths.com

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Nasa & the Bible - very interesting!

My mom sent me this and I think it bears sharing. Enjoy!

NASA & THE BIBLE

I think one of the most amazing things that God has done for us today happened recently to our astronauts and space scientists at Green Belt, Maryland.  Thought this was pretty amazing and interesting!!

For all the scientists out there, and for all the students who have a hard   time convincing these people regarding the truth of the Bible, here's something that shows God's awesome creation, and that He is still in control.
 
Did you know that the space program is busy proving that what has been called "myth" in the Bible is true?
 
Mr. Harold Hill, President of the Curtis Engine Company in  Baltimore, Maryland, and a consultant in the space program, relates the following development.

They were checking out where the positions of the sun, moon, and planets would be 100 years and 1,000 years from now. We have to know this so we won't send up a satellite and have it bump into something later on in its orbits.
 
We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the satellite and where the planets will be so the whole thing will not bog down.
 
They ran the computer measurement back and forth over the centuries, and it came to a halt. The computer stopped and put up a red signal, which meant that there was something wrong   with either the information fed into it or with the results as compared to the standards.
 
They called in the service department to check it out, and they said, 'What's wrong?' Well, they found there is a day missing in space in elapsed time.
 
They scratched their heads and tore their hair out.. There was no answer.
 
Finally a Christian man on the team said, 'You know, one time I was in Sunday School, and they talked about the sun standing still.' While they didn't believe him, they didn't have an answer either, so they said, 'Show us. '
 
He got a Bible and went to the book of Joshua where they found a pretty ridiculous statement for any one with 'common sense.'
 
There they found the Lord saying to Joshua,
 
'Fear them not, I have delivered them into thy hand; there shall not a man of them stand before Thee.'
 
Joshua was concerned because he was surrounded by the enemy! And if darkness fell, they would overpower them. So Joshua asked the Lord to make the sun stand still! That's right... 'The sun   stood still and the moon stayed and lasted not to go down about a whole day!'
(Joshua 10:12-13)
 
The astronauts and scientists said, There is the missing day! They checked the computers going back into the time it was written and found it was close, but not close enough. The elapsed time that was missing back in Joshua's day was 23 hours and 20 minutes, not a whole day.
 
They read the Bible, and there it was about [approximately] a day. These little words in the Bible are important, but they were still in trouble because if you cannot account for 40 minutes, you'll still be in trouble 1000 years from now.
 
Forty minutes had to be found because   it can be multiplied many times over in orbits. As the Christian employee   thought about it, he remembered somewhere in the Bible where it said the sun went BACKWARDS.
 
The scientists told him he was out ofhis mind, but they got out the Book and read these words in 2 Kings that told   of the following story: Hezekiah, on his death bed, was visited by the prophet   Isaiah who told him that he was not going to die. Hezekiah asked for a sign   as proof. Isaiah said 'Do you want the sun to go ahead 10 degrees?'

Hezekiah said, 'It is nothing for the   sun to go ahead 10 degrees, but let the shadow return backward 10 degrees.'   Isaiah spoke to the Lord, and the Lord brought the shadow ten degrees   BACKWARD! Ten degrees is exactly 40 minutes!

Twenty-three hours and 20 minutes in Joshua, plus 40 minutes in Second Kings   make the missing day in the universe! Isn't it amazing?
 
  References: Joshua 10:8 and 12,13 and   2 Kings 20:9-11.

Joshua 10:8, 12, 13
⁸ The LORD said to Joshua, "Do not be afraid of them; I have given them into your hand. Not one of them will be able to withstand you."
    ¹² On the day the LORD gave the Amorites over to Israel, Joshua said to the LORD in the presence of Israel: "O sun, stand still over Gibeon,
       O moon, over the Valley of Aijalon."

   ¹³ So the sun stood still,
       and the moon stopped,
       till the nation avenged itself on ^[a] its enemies,
      as it is written in the Book of Jashar.
      The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day.

2 Kings 20:9-11

    ⁹ Isaiah answered, "This is the LORD's sign to you that the LORD will do what he has promised: Shall the shadow go forward ten steps, or shall it go back ten steps?"

    ¹⁰ "It is a simple matter for the shadow to go forward ten steps," said Hezekiah. "Rather, have it go back ten steps."

    ¹¹ Then the prophet Isaiah called upon the LORD, and the LORD made the shadow go back the ten steps it had gone down on the stairway of Ahaz.

If God could do this then, how   much more can he do for us today. If we only believe in his word.    

Two more good books - How Starbucks Saved My Life and They Did it With Love

By Joy A. Kennelly

Seeing as I've been bed-ridden for the past few days except for a few jaunts here and there, I went to the library and checked out a few books to pass the time away. Haven't had the time to read for pleasure lately and thoroughly enjoyed getting lost in these two very different stories.

How Starbucks Saved My Life, by Michael Gates Gill is a very interesting tale of a man of privilege who loses everything only to find his soul. (Or at least that's how I read it!) Here's the official book reviews from Amazon:

Editorial Reviews
        From Publishers Weekly
"The son of New Yorker writer Brendan Gill grew up meeting the likes of Ezra Pound and Ernest Hemingway. A Yale education led to a job at prestigious J. Walter Thompson Advertising. But at 63, the younger Gill's sweet life has gone sour. Long fired from JWT, his own business is collapsing and an ill-advised affair has resulted in a new son and a divorce.

At this low point, and in need of health insurance for a just diagnosed brain tumor, Gill fills out an application for Starbucks and is assigned to the store on 93rd and Broadway in New York City, staffed primarily by African-Americans. Working as a barista, Gill, who is white, gets an education in race relations and the life of a working class Joe . Gill certainly has a story to tell, but his narrative is flooded with saccharine flashbacks, when it could have detailed how his very different, much younger colleagues, especially his endearing 28-year-old manager, Crystal Thompson, came to accept him.

The book reads too much like an employee handbook, as Gill details his duties or explains how the company chooses its coffee. Gill's devotion to the superchain has obviously changed his life for the better, but that same devotion makes for a repetitive, unsatisfying read. Photos not seen by PW. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.    

From Booklist

*Starred Review* Yale graduate, prosperous ad exec: Gill has it all. Then he turns 60 and finds himself precipitously bounced from his job and saddled with the triple threats of a ruined marriage, an unexpected newborn, and a brain tumor. Despairing at the prospect of looming poverty, he stops at a Manhattan Starbucks to comfort himself with a latte.

By chance he sits down next to Crystal, a young African American woman recruiting new workers for the coffee giant, and she offers him a job. Almost as an act of desperation, he accepts, and he dons the uniform of a barista-in-training at an Upper West Side Starbucks.

This son of privilege who had hobnobbed with Queen Elizabeth, T. S. Eliot, and Jackie Onassis, now keeps daily company with a diverse crew of brash young New Yorkers for whom Starbucks' progressive employee benefits and demanding, inspiring standards of public service offer hope.

Gill starts at the bottom, cleaning the bathroom, and he has trouble mastering the cash register. Over the months he learns to deeply respect Crystal, to appreciate the mutual support of his coworkers, and to genuinely cherish the passing parade of customers, each unique. To his own astonishment, he realizes that he actually looks forward joyfully to every hectic, exhausting workday. Other corporate giants can only envy the sheer goodwill that this memoir will inevitably generate for Starbucks. What a read." Knoblauch, Mark

I obviously agree with the 2nd reviewer since I didn't find it an employee handbook at all, but a man's journey to find himself when he'd lost it all. I loved the stories of his previous life of privilege inter-laced with his current Starbucks job. The characters he worked with made it interesting to read too.

I'm not the only one to think so because apparently Shari Smiley of Creative Artists Agency thought enough of his story to attach Tom Hanks and Gus Van Sant to the potential film project and she's supposed to have the Midas touch. Very cool.

I wonder though how well this book will translate into film. Reminds me too much of The Terminal, Hanks other film about a man stuck in one environment too that didn't do too well if I remember correctly. However, screenwriters can do miracles so I'll just wait and see what they come up with.

Just know the book is very good and worth a read. Especially for men.

The other book, They Did It With Love, by Kate Morgenroth, makes me never want to move to the suburbs since there's so much betrayal, murder and mayhem that ensues when one couple leaves the city to move to Greenwich, CT I didn't know it existed!

Here's Amazon's review of the book:

"Editorial Reviews Book Description

  Secrets lurk under the smooth surface of a wealthy Connecticut neighborhood, until a murder reveals all

Sofie and her husband have left Manhattan in search of a more tranquil life in the suburbs. But when a member of Sofie’s new neighborhood book club turns up dead, things get messy. She discovers that everybody has something to hide, including her own husband. Her neighbor Priscilla has been married to Gordon for fifteen years, but the love left their marriage a long time ago. Susan is Priscilla’s biggest supporter until she has to choose between loyalty to her friend and telling the truth. Ashley is eager to fit in, but her youth and status as a second wife keep her on the outside. She may know more than they think she does, though. Julia seems to have it all—the perfect house, job and husband. But her untimely death has people questioning how perfect her life really was. Through this swamp of suburban secrets, Sofie must wade to find the truth behind Julia’s murder and the state of her own marriage. They Did It with Love is a delightful, twisty, and twisted exploration of the things we’ll do for love.    

      About the Author
  Kate Morgenroth is the author of Kill Me First and Saved, and two YA novels, Jude and Echo."

This one kept me guessing right until the end! The characters were entertaining, the mystery book club a great setting for murder mischief, the deteriorating wealthy marriages, and everything else this little community unravels rivals Desperate Housewives!

It was very enjoyable and a nice escape from my life in CA to their lives in CT. Great for women to read and relax to. Men too, if you care to learn how to kill your wife. JUST KIDDING. Not that kind of book at all. Just checking to see if you're still reading.

Okay, that's all for now. Nice to finally feel like I can breath a bit. Now to stop coughing up a lung. OY!
     

Relationships & the 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life again

By Joy A. Kennelly

Just got off the phone with a woman I highly respect who gave me some insight into a relationship that deeply saddens me over the way it is currently and has been for many years despite every effort I've made to heal it.

She shared that sometimes it's just not the right time for that relationship to be reconciled and we just need to let it go and move on. What I found so interesting is that her advice directly correlated with what I had just reviewed in Dr. Henry Cloud's book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life this morning.

This was my third time reading it because I want the principles of this book to sink into my life and make me a better person. I highlighted all the areas I really liked and this time just reviewed those which made it a quick read.

Here's the 9 principles with some quoted excerpts from my favorite chapters in case you haven't read it yet:

1. Dig it up

"No matter what a person is trying to accomplish, if he is walking around with unresolved matters of the heart, his goals will be negatively affected. And secondly, the wise deja vu person knows that every time he faces one of those sicknesses in the heart, something better and larger emerges. Either new solutions are found in facing and solving problems, or new aspects of the soul are discovered. When we face our demons and our pain, we "reclaim the land" of our hearts and souls. You come through the suffering being better than who you were when you went it. You get back what had been taken and find extra character to boot. These wise people understand all that, and they enter in the process willingly."

2. Pull the tooth

"Successful people do not hang on to bad stuff for long. They do not allow negative things to take up space in their lives, draining them of energy and resources. They finish off problems and do not allow them to remain. They get rid of negative energy. There is certainly much thought, time, and process put into how to handle a negative situation lovingly and wisely, but there is little question as to whether or not it is going to be handled. [Y]our success in relationship and in life is going to be limited or enhanced by how well you exercise these two skills: 1. Your ability to confront and resolve negative things quickly, directly, lovingly, thoroughly, and effectively. 2. Your ability to let go and leave behind the things that are not resolvable. Proverbs 22:3:

    ³ A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge,
       but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

3. Play the movie

"Any one thing you do is only a scene in a larger movie. To understand that action, you have to play it out all the way to the end of the movie."

4. Do something

"What can I do to make this situation better? ... To psychologists, philosophers, and theologians, who is at fault, is not the big issue. That is a legal question. What is an issue is being responsible in terms of ownership. To own my life means that it is mine and no other person's. I can blame no one for what I do with it. I can blame them for what they do to me, but I cannot blame them for what I do with what they do to me. I am responsible for how I respond....To the degree that we allow life just to happen and are not active forces to change whatever situation we find ourselves in, we are not living up to our true humanity by reflecting God's nature."

5. Act like an ant

"They achieved their goals by taking tiny steps over time."

Proverbs 6:6-8:

    ⁶ Go to the ant, you sluggard;
       consider its ways and be wise!

    ⁷ It has no commander,
       no overseer or ruler,

    ⁸ yet it stores its provisions in summer
       and gathers its food at harvest.

"All success is built and sustained just like a building is built, one brick at a time."

6. Hate well (this chapter and principle spoke the most to me.)

"In reality though, hate is one of the most important aspects of being human. It is one of the most crucial ingredients of a good person's character. What we hate says a lot about who we are, what we value, what we care about. And how we hate says much about how we will succeed in love and life.... Basically, we are defined in part by what we love and what we hate. What we love says what we will invest in, go for, move towards, give time and resources to, and orient ourselves toward with the best parts of who we are. You can tell a lot about people by what they love....Likewise, we can know a lot about people by what they hate....Successful people move against the problem, and show love and respect to the person at the same time....Deja vu people tend to have immune responses to things that are truly infections, poisons, toxins and dangers....Deja vu people tend to address the real toxins of life in specific, effective ways that face the issues and respect the persons involved."

Proverbs 6:16-19:

    ¹⁶ There are six things the LORD hates,
       seven that are detestable to him:

    ¹⁷ haughty eyes,
       a lying tongue,
       hands that shed innocent blood,

    ¹⁸ a heart that devises wicked schemes,
       feet that are quick to rush into evil,

    ¹⁹ a false witness who pours out lies
       and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

Psalm 101:3-7:

    ³ I will set before my eyes
       no vile thing.
       The deeds of faithless men I hate;
       they will not cling to me.

    ⁴ Men of perverse heart shall be far from me;
       I will have nothing to do with evil.

    ⁵ Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret,
       him will I put to silence;
       whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart,
       him will I not endure.

    ⁶ My eyes will be on the faithful in the land,
       that they may dwell with me;
       he whose walk is blameless
       will minister to me.

    ⁷ No one who practices deceit
       will dwell in my house;
       no one who speaks falsely
       will stand in my presence.

"'Whenever I see destructive behavior, I am going to leave that scene. I won't trust people who are betrayers so I won't be walking around with a lot of hurt. I will stay away from people who twist good things such as love or sex and use them in some impure way. I won't play that game. I don't want to be close to those who are slanderers and put others down. And those arrogant types who think they are so superior and try to put me down can just stay away. I want to be around good people with good hearts and spend my time with them. I want to receive what they have to offer. I won't be around liars and people who are not into truth.'"

"When you apply objective things like time, space, understanding, specific events, specific emotions, and specific places to the origins of your hate, you begin to put them in their proper place. Realize that your hurt comes from a different time in the past and let the span between then and now help you get a new perspective on it. Understand what the hurtful incident meant for you then, and what is has come to mean for you today. Think about what new understanding you can bring to those same kinds of events today that can reduce their power in your life. Work through the feelings and emotions of it all with a trusted person or group. When you trace the origins of your feelings to objective people or events, you can begin to understand them and sort them according to their value.

You must take from those experiences the things that you want to learn and make part of you, such as what kinds of people are untrustworthy and should be avoided, or specific skills that would make you stronger now and not susceptible to the same kind of injury again. Above all, seek healing and understanding for the parts of you that have been injured."

7. Don't play fair (This chapter was another favorite. Lots of good stuff in it! Too much to put here, but these scriptures really speak to it - these were provided in the book.)

Luke 6:32-35:

    ³²"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. ³³And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. ³⁴And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. ³⁵But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

Romans 12:17-18:

    ¹⁷Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. ¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Romans 12:21:
²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

"GIVE BACK BETTER THAN YOU ARE GIVEN"

Proverbs 24:17-18:

    ¹⁷ Do not gloat when your enemy falls;
       when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice,

    ¹⁸ or the LORD will see and disapprove
       and turn his wrath away from him.

8. Be humble

"Humility is not having a need to be more than you are."

"Identifying with other normal humans who fail leads to a number of success patterns, as we shall continue to see. The first two of these are huge factors in achieving success:

1. Successful people show kindness, understanding, and help to others who fail.

2. Successful people are not derailed by their own failures; they accept them as a normal part of the process.

People who win in life do not condemn themselves for failure; they accept it. They learn from it. Failure motivates them to do better. They do not beat themselves up for it, and they don not begin to believe that they cannot accomplish something just because they failed. Because they are humble and identify with the human race that makes mistakes and fails, they see failure as normal. They expect it to come, so they are not surprised when it does. They use it and do not feel disqualified because of it. It is a paradox of monumental proportions.

Regarding their imperfections, these people do at least two things very well that build success, foster good relationships, and encourage learning, growth and wisdom:

1. They admit it quickly when they are wrong.

2. They receive correction and confrontation from others well.

Proverbs 9:7:

    ⁷ "Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult;
       whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.

Proverbs 15:12:

    ¹² A mocker resents correction;
       he will not consult the wise."

9. Upset the right people

"Deja Vu people do not make decisions based on the fear of other people's reactions. What you should do, and what someone's response is going to be, are two very different issues."

Proverbs 19:19:

    ¹⁹ A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty;
       if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.

That is the thing to remember about trying to appease controlling and angry people. If you let their anger decide your course of action for you - whether to give or not to give - then you have just trained them in how to get what they want out of you. You have set yourself up for the same experience again.

In addition, do you really want to give to someone who is only going to hate you? What kind of relationship is that? What kind of love is that? True love would accept your choice and respect your having to say no.

If you are resetting your course based on the fact that someone might get angry with you, you have chosen a flimsy foundation upon which to make a decision. You have lost control of yourself, and that is not what successful people do. They are not held hostage by anger.

They go against the odds if the odds are against what is right. They are willing to be the odd one, risking loss of approval in order to do the right thing. They understand that the approval of others does not go very far in making one truly fulfilled. It may be nice for a moment but getting up every day and doing what you believe in is much more lasting."

9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life and other thoughts...

By Joy A. Kennelly

Sometimes you just need a good friend to tell it like it is and remind you that God is in control, not you. I keep saying I'm turning my life over to His will and His leading in my life, but deep down inside I keep thinking that means I'll still get to play in Hollywood with all my friends I've known for years and years.

Not so. I was reminded tonight by my good friend that when one door closes, another opens. Right now it seems like God is closing the door for me to do more personal publicity for actors and it's very sad to me. I LOVE that kind of work. I love helping people brand themselves and create business and opportunities from that identity.

I LOVE IT! It makes me very happy and I think I'm good at it. Others do too, but they can't afford my services (at least the ones I'm meeting. Maybe I need to meet more better ones. Ya think?)

For whatever reason though, it's just not happening right now and I have to accept that fact as a fact and stop living in denial. Maybe I'll go back to doing it down the road, but for now... Not happening. I'm beginning to realize I don't really know what God wants for my life anymore.

That's why my friend telling me she knows I have a gift for publicity and that maybe God wants to use my talents in representing the South Bay is a little overwhelming, but also encouraging. Maybe this is the right direction to take.

I have to admit though. When I think about living AND working down here I feel like I'm going to be bored out of my skull! What is going on at night other than bars and happy hours? Will someone please tell me? Lots of stuff to do on the weekends and during the day, but nights? WHAT IS THERE TO DO - ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE SINGLE???

Maybe I need to start planning some parties and get some events going or something. I don't know, but I do know that if I am going to stay down here I need to entertain myself. I can't deal with the thought that the highlight of my night is going to be meeting a friend of mine down at Barnes & Nobles and seeing what the latest mags are. I'll shrivel up and die! Not that there's anything wrong with it, but not all the time!

No wonder people drink so much down here. LOL. They're bored! I'm bored! Oh well. I need to stop ragging on my little home town and start doing something to make it more fun. I'm sure there's other people like me who would love to do stuff at night too.

I can only hit Java Man so often too. Love that place, but have to say, the customer service with some of the guys working there has gotten kind of bad. I don't know why. I'm not tipping any different than I have in the past. I am ordering the same stuff. I don't know. Just an fyi, mr. owner guy. Especially the Sunday closing crew. What's up their butt?

I was so bored I threw an impromptu night BBQ on Tuesday and all nine people I invited showed up. That was with two hours notice. I think they're bored too. This community needs something pulling the singles and those without children of the town together outside of bars. Just a thought.

I'm tired. Just felt like blogging. It's been awhile because I've been busy and other stuff taking up my time, but I miss sharing. Maybe it's a little too personal, but I always hope that perhaps other people will relate to what I've written and will be comforted or encouraged to know they're not alone feeling the way they do.

One of the things the former shrink from the Women of Faith conference I attended last weekend said is, "When we reveal, then we heal." (This was a very fun conference, but kind of Christian lite so you had to be there which is why I'm not covering it. Check out the link for more details. It's good, just not what I expected. Laughed a lot though!)

Back to my original thought - "When we reveal, we heal." I know, trite phrase, but it was also echoed in this book I bought that weekend by Christian clinical psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, entitled 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life.

I kept trying to read bits and pieces of the book over the breaks because it had such an intriguing title and he's such a great author on numerous topics. I almost didn't get it because I still have a gift card from the women's retreat I attended and was going to get it later, but then I read his counseling of an overweight patient about how to effectively lose weight - one pound at a time, one week at a time (more details in the book - read it! It's really great. This is my 2nd time reading it now.) which was a concept I hadn't really grasped because I'm the "I want it now and if I can't have it right now why bother" type person.

However, that idea really resonated with me and since reading the book I've joined a gym again. Time to hit the ground running so to speak. Maybe I'll eat more salads now too. Maybe Weight Watchers is next? Who knows? :)

Back to the book though, I digress. What Dr. Cloud explains is that there are 9 certain traits and characteristics of successful people that he was able to analyze after meeting so many "de ja vu" people.
He calls them that because he kept meeting people who reminded him of other people and he thought maybe he'd met them before because there were so many similarities, but then he realized these people all addressed life in the same successful  way. That's the genesis of the book. I highly, highly recommend it. It's easy to read, lots of examples with real people not celebrities which would make you think you can't attain that life, and very informative.

There's a little study guide that goes along with it and if you bought the two together at the conference I was attending you got a discount - I bought both.:) Now I'm starting to read the daily step by step guide to changing your life in 30 days. It's very scriptural so if that's not your thing don't bother. But if you are interested in hearing God's perspective on you and your dreams, then get it. I'm enjoying reading it too.

Speaking of goal setting... A few of my friends and I are going to start the Goal Gals back up again real soon. (It's something I created back in the mid-90's which my friend Cynthia named when she was part of it where I get groups of people together to accomplish goals in three month increments.)

I'm excited about starting again because I always get so much support in groups like this and accomplish so much more than I would by myself. It's a good time to start too because pretty soon I'm going to be very busy again. I'm very excited that my producer/writer/mentor friend, Marcia, is going to help me create my adoption doc because I'm just way too close to be objective. Should be interesting...at least I hope!

I'm also looking forward to taking Chris Howard's seminar again next weekend. He takes everything that's taught on goal setting and just kicks it up to a whole other level. I was so inspired last time I attended can't wait to attend this one. I think you can still sign up for free. Check it out. If you're a conference attender like I am!:)

I'm still loving working with my artist client, Gali Rotstein. She's creating some really cool new art pieces and is busy in the studio. I'm busy pitching her to more and more galleries. We have some pending, but until things are confirmed I can't really discuss them here. Just know as soon as we know, you will know. There's also a very cool women's magazine (one of my favorites actually) interested in her story too and if I get her that hit, it will be major! Say a prayer!:)

Otherwise, wrapped the car gig last week (although they're not done, but I was - HA HA) and have been busy catching up on things this week as a result. I don't know how people work 9am - 5pm. I really don't. It's so machine like. But the money's nice I guess. However, according to my Henry Cloud book, it's more important to do something that makes your heart sing.

So, I'm off to read more and learn what's going to make my heart sing! Have a good one all.

Don't be a stranger.

Enjoy the read.